I simply was trying to find any website I could possibly get answers from actual Christians that know the bible. I simply am not very happy with where I am today. A few years back I was in an unhealthy abusive relationship. After a year apart we've gotten back together and are trying to work on things a little more. Things are much different now and much easier to handle but now the person I'm with has been having heart problems. She'll get really light headed and nearly pass out. I pray all the time about asking god to protect her and watch over us and honestly I just have been feeling so ignored all over again. I'll pray and keep my faith but then something falls through and fills me with so much doubt and anger. I've just been through a roller coaster of emotions these past three years. Ive had my ups and downs and now I'm just so confused and wondering what all this effort in life is for if its just meant to fall through my hands anyway. I just don't know why I should hold on to the same things in life I seem to keep losing and it saddens me that the only thing I might experience in life is a river of loss and pain. I have no one really to speak to. So I hope that someone can tell me what this could mean and why its happening. Specifically because the first year we had been together and things were so a busive a stranger had stopped me just to tell me I was a blessing. She told me not to forget..it just seemed as though she had a vision of me. But yet I forget nearly every day what it was she said. How could it mean anything when all I see is alot of hurt and misfortune. I just don't understand. So I hope someone hears this and can pray for me. Maybe there's someone around who's prayers are much stronger than mine. I pray nearly every night and always feel like god only hears half or just sets me aside for later and its not fair. All everyone wants is to be fulfilled and now that me and my lover have been on good terms it just seems the devil wants to still take things away from me or that god just doesn't want me to have good things.