Why are so many women attracted to jerks?

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Stuey

Senior Member
#241
Aug 17, 2009
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iTOREtheSKY said:
Sometimes we mistake "feeling bad" with CONVICTION because we haven't renewed our minds with God's word. God never wants someone to "feel bad". He doesn't operate in the "feelings" department anyway. When we are "feeling bad", 9 out of 10 times it's because we've given foothold to the devil & let him whisper his BS in our ear,thus not casting down imaginations & letting the thoughts of "feeling bad" exalt themselves against the knowledge of God's word. That's MHO,but I don't claim to know much,so take it or leave it.:)
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[SUP]10 [/SUP]Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

I think feeling bad has a point... Guilt is there for a reason. But we shouldn't dwell on it nor beat ourselves up.
 
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HEIsRiSen

Senior Member
#242
Feb 4, 2013
487
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#242
A lot, but not all, of the "nice guys" lack the confidence that women are attracted to. These guys are insecure, indecisive, lack assertiveness, are prone to doubt and are often quite sensitive.

They call themselves nice guys, women call them boring.
 
ijustwanttheTruth

ijustwanttheTruth

Senior Member
#243
Sep 28, 2011
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#243
i have never dated a jerk. now granted i really only dated like 2 guys. but. i am not attracted to jerks. my definition of a jerk is an arrogant son of a pickle who thinks he's God's gift to women and that he is right all the time and that he can get his way all the time.

a jerk, to me, is someone who thinks the world revolves around them. rather than a partner who struggles to maintain that difficult balance in a long term relationship of GIVE AND TAKE.
it's a dance. love is a dance. women want someone who will dance with them. someone who will meet them where we are. try to understand us. lean when they need to and LEAD when we need them to!

if a nice guy is also a push over...no backbone no signs of inward strength of character.........

it's not about whether someone is a jerk or nice. women value men with good values! but we like a personality type that will compliment us, balance us out, and yes. lead. it is the God-given role of the man to lead. and if a guy won't do that. we are not really interested. altho. there are always exceptions. like a woman with a control complex who enjoys having a nice push over toy. sad.

many of us have learned not to fall prey to a charming guy who can lead but not dance. some still havent.
and testing peoples' character often takes time.

boxing-inflatable-clown1.jpg
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#244
#244
Lol... I couldn't tell ya... Girls really do love the jerks... I guess mostly because the jerks are the guys who are mostly muscular, athletic, etc. They're also usually confident, and I think that's the main thing that girls love the most about guys. A lot of nicer guys, from my experience, are shy, awkward, etc. Not all are, but I just think that the jerks have more confidence than the nicer guys.

Some older girls have told me that eventually they grow out of that jerk-loving phase though, so I dunno... When it comes to me, i'm completely terrible with girls.

Basically I would say confidence is the major thing that attracts them to the jerks. Just my opinion though.
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#245
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#245
Jerks was probably too strong a word. I probably should have said 'insensitive men'. :p Why is this thread even here? It was supposed to die quietly two weeks ago.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#246
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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#246
I dated one real jerk. I met someone else who was much nicer, wondered why I was dating the jerk. I dumped him and started dating the nice guy. It's funny, once I dumped the jerk he started being really nice and doing nice things saying he wanted me back. I didn't buy it. I dated the nice guy for 3 years long distance. After him I met my husband and he's a nice guy.

Maybe it depends on the woman, I don't know. I think I posted in here before though.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#247
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
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#247
ah zero the thread has taken on a mind of its own!
 
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pleasedontbeahypocrite

Guest
#248
#248
Why are there so many stereotypes and generalizations on this forum? I've never seen so much eagerness to lump massive groups of individuals into categories lol. I really think this type of mentality is destructive for society. But that's just my two cents.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#249
#249
pleasedontbeahypocrite said:
Why are there so many stereotypes and generalizations on this forum? I've never seen so much eagerness to lump massive groups of individuals into categories lol. I really think this type of mentality is destructive for society. But that's just my two cents.
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Because many christians travel in packs like wolves & haven't really renewed their minds yet,as to how to behave like Christ,forgetting where they came from & what they were before Christ saved their sorry buns. I don't understand how you can say that you've never seen so much eagerness in lumping massive groups of individuals into categories before...ummm,have you ever turned on the news,read a paper,cone to a mall,a bar,been in public??? lol As humans,thats all we do to one another. Don't try to single christians out as the great evil of why society is wicked. IMHO you need to not worry about the hypocrisy of others & just get your focus on Jesus...pray for & love others. There is always going to be hypocrisy,and it's only gonna get worse as the days grow darker.
 
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pleasedontbeahypocrite

Guest
#250
#250
iTOREtheSKY said:
Because many christians travel in packs like wolves & haven't really renewed their minds yet,as to how to behave like Christ,forgetting where they came from & what they were before Christ saved their sorry buns. I don't understand how you can say that you've never seen so much eagerness in lumping massive groups of individuals into categories before...ummm,have you ever turned on the news,read a paper,cone to a mall,a bar,been in public??? lol As humans,thats all we do to one another. Don't try to single christians out as the great evil of why society is wicked. IMHO you need to not worry about the hypocrisy of others & just get your focus on Jesus...pray for & love others. There is always going to be hypocrisy,and it's only gonna get worse as the days grow darker.
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Sir, I'm believe you have completely misunderstood my post, as well as the intent behind it. lol

Although your commentary is a bit misguided, I'm sure your heart was in the right place, and you do make some valid points!
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#251
#251
That's possible...sorry if I have. It wouldn't be the 1st time. lol
 
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pleasedontbeahypocrite

Guest
#252
#252
That's okay! It wouldn't be the first time that I've made a post unclear or chosen words that didn't optimally articulate what I am really trying to say! I'm a math and science girl, after all. Haha
 
settled

settled

Banned
#253
Mar 27, 2015
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#253
T_Laurich said:
The "jerks" know the dating game. See from my experience its not that men are jerks from the get-go. I have seen very nice boys grow up to be a "jerk".

The guys perspective. On men.

These guys are usually more attractive then the nice guys. They notice from a early age they have a leg up on everyone else. Everyone thinks they are cute and adorable. And with the old spider man motto with power comes irresponsibility!

So with this power the start to test it just like all men do. If a 16 year old boy is given a brand new Lamborghini Adventedor yah he might drive speed limit for a day, But he will begin to test how fast the car really is. Until he knows his limits, usually going above his limits and ending up pulled over or in the hospital.

The boys begin to start to test how they can get away with certain things. They begin with baby steps and grow their knowledge. See these men have realized it is much easier for them to treat a women with not respect, like a dog if you will, then to treat them as gold. It is easier to not pay attention to their emotional feelings then to listen. And everyone knows its true, it is easier to tell your friend rub some dirt in it, then to listen to a hour long story and then give a 30 minute explanation...


Mans perspective on why women Go out with them and stay with them

So everyone thinks these women want to be degraded and mistreated...???

That is total bogus... These women find a cute looking man who is extremely flirty and fun to be around. See these men are not beginners are the dating game. They know how to keep a woman's interest, what to say, and how to say it... They know the in's and out's of every detail there is about a new relationship...

They are easier to get to know and funner to get to know,

No one likes going on a date and saying, whats your favorite color... Whats your last name... What do you do for a living...

These men instead go out on a date and bring up topics in funny our hilarious manners. They keep the girl laughing and feeling like they are talking to a best friend. Not the dreaded interview dating.

So these women end up thinking this man is funny, charming, nice, and GOOD LOOKING! They begin to become attached and around this point the man begins to care less... The girl will strive to bring the relationship out of the waters and tries to keep the "Romance" alive... The more she tries the more the guy see's this and cares less... its a repeating cycle...

(PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!!!!! NOT SAYING ANYONE IS THIS!)

These women when they become attached have some type of man missing from their lives, they usually find this "Jerk" fills the void they have in them.



So that's the way I see it... I am not a ladies man, I do not get women hand over fist... But, this is what I have noticed... The "Nice" guys are usually nice because they have not been tainted by their own EGO'S!
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wow I never understood that this has happened to me a few times where the guy is full of fun and laughter and once he knows you like him back he becomes cold and unresponsive by then your heart is involved with him. However I have respect for myself I WONT PUT UP WITH A JERK LIKE THAT. no matter how much it hurts. im woman made in gods image and I refuse to be treated like that I have very recently walked away from a jerk who got my heart entangled with his and I realised it was all about his selfish ego and to prove to his friends that he could get me.. I know some women will want to stay with him to CHANGE him. they naively think they can change him and in the process get more and more hurt. I on the other hand see if he is starting to treat me bad IM OUTTA THERE. Jesus wants whats best for me and so do I. god bless you brother
 
settled

settled

Banned
#254
Mar 27, 2015
66
3
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#254
Ariel82 said:
then they need a lesson on "How to know your man is cheatin' on you" or "how to recognize a faithful mate" list.

My friends compiled one ages ago.

From memory:

1. He gets upset when you show up unexpectedly to say you love him. Dropping by with a picnic lunch is sometimes a good test.

2. He wants to keep your relationship a "secret"

3. He checks out and flirts with other girls, even while you are there.

4. He lies about where he is/ he is not where he says he was going to be (this can be checked by having a friend drop by that place and reporting back)

5. he hits on your girl friends behind your back.

In high school I had a set of five girl friends and we kept it real with each other. Luckily we were so different that we never fell for the same guy. Even if we did we had a policy of NEVER dating a guy who went out with one of our other friends. relationships like that never end well and often cause the breakup of a great friendship.

we had clear lines we would not tolerate from men as well.

If he pressured you for sex. (firm believer that high school students should NOT be having sex)

If he ever HIT you.

and more but my have to take kids to school. ttyl.
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that list is so true ariel especially the part about trying to force you to have
sexual relations on the first date. that shows that he is selfish and a jerk cause he is only concerned with his fleshly desires. if a man brings up that subject on a first date I would run for the hills.
 
settled

settled

Banned
#255
Mar 27, 2015
66
3
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#255
being a jerk doesn't make women like you more. it is insulting to women to keep repeating that lie.

AMEN TO THAT ARIEL
NO not all women go for jerks just women who usually have very very low standards for themselves and very very low esteem
 
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Anemone24

Guest
#256
#256
I don't think I would dispute the original statement in the title of this thread completely.

It's very complicated- it could be a reflection of self loathing on a woman's part...or, largely, I think it's due to distorted cultural perceptions of masculinity. Personally I have had to completely reprogram my perceptions to get them in line with what the bible has to say about what makes men men- and much of what it has to say is completely counter cultural.
 
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JustAnotherUser

Guest
#257
#257
What gets me is people complaining that 'nice guys/girls finish last', but if one is truly nice then why would they expect something in return for being nice to someone in the first place? Yes, there's a lot of jerks in this world who would go after the superficial things and therefore make people become attracted, but standing on the sidelines as far as trying to take interest isn't going to get you much of anywhere yourself. I didn't think being nice to someone is equivalent to making a move.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#258
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
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#258
How do old threads get brought back up? This is from 2 years ago.
 
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Jeff_56

Banned
#259
Dec 26, 2014
3,757
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#259
zeroturbulence said:
I wish it wasn't true but it is. I've seen it happen over and over again. If there is a jerk nearby you can bet there are women nearby that want to get to know him better, but if there is a perfect gentleman in the room you can bet he won't even be noticed by most women. So why is that? Any ideas??...
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scripture says "the world loves its own"

and again , jesus himself says "if you chose to live right, you will be hated by the world because they first hated me".

it has always been this way, as it is written.
 
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