Why Aren't You Married?

[Tintin]

I don't like the thread title popping up at the top of the discussion forums. It's like it's FaceBook or something: "Why aren't you married?"

Me: "I don't know. Leave me alone, you big bully!"

 

[Nautilus]

Haha yeah Im not in the life place or mindset to settle down either. I mean not to be creepy but there are a few girls on this forum that i think would make good wives, even though I havent met them, though either way its like Im 29....thats still young...i still want to adventure and travel and explore life...if someone comes along and we click and everything works then sure ill get married, but its definitely not something im actively looking for.

 

[Tintin]

I haven't seen an Aussie girls on here yet, only guys and I'm not interested in guys.

 

[arwen83]

I haven't seen an Aussie girls on here yet, only guys and I'm not interested in guys.

Yeah its just you and Stuey right? Where are all the Aussie girls at?

 

[Tintin]

Not sure, Arwen. But I guess that answers the thread's question why we're not married!

 

[violakat]

How this statement "comes across" to a man (a single man, especially) is often something like:

"You had better keep me happy, or I am going to make your life miserable."

GRA, I really do understand what you mean by this. And I understand Elizabeth was really joking and not meaning the above statement. However, when I hear other women say this, I sometimes wonder, do they think of their husband's happiness? Is it all about them? And this is from a female's perspective.

 

[arwen83]

I'm finding myself also responding: Why aren't YOU married huh? HUH?! See how you like being badgered all the time!

 

[violakat]

I have a friend that I really wish could read this thread. She use to tease me all the time by pointing out all the single men in someway that he could potentially hear, and didn't realize how it was making me feel not to mention how it possibly was making the men feel and how awkward that was, especially if the guy started thinking I was attracted to him. When I made her realize how it was making me feel, well, she stopped, but she thinks that I'm super sensitive.

In someways I am. I'm sensitive because of how I've been made to feel in the past by others as something must be completely off with me because I'm not married with 19 kids and counting. And it's questions like these, and the tone that quite often accompanies the question that makes so many single people feel bad about themselves, as if they are not whole on their on. And so, they rush off to marry the first person they meet who gives them the time of day.

Honestly, why I'm not currently dating or married, I'm currently wanting to be single. Yes, I know that this is so hard to understand for people, but tough. I'm not living for you, but for God. Will that change, possibly and probably as I know that in the past I have had desires to be married and be a wife.

As for the past, well, that's something I can't answer, because I don't know why I wasn't married then, either. Could I have gotten married, yes, but to someone who I didn't love, wasn't attracted to, and knew I would probably be divorced from in a matter of days (and no, I wasn't dating the guy). That's not something I want. If I ever do get married, I want that relationship to be built of Godly principles, one that is more likely to stand the test of time because God is in it.

 

[Matthew1989]

I would love to get married someday whenever I am ready for a relationship. I am only single because I am not ready for a relationship right now. Just been busy with helping my parents, working, and paying off my school fee debt. I hope someday I finally get the chance to get my drivers license someday and my own car too. I have a lot to learn and study when it comes to learning more about God and being a doer of His word which I struggle with reading the bible on a daily basis because I tend to do other things and get distracted easily. I know God has someone very special for me and when He reveals her to me. I will be satisfied and blessed.

 

[MrHonest]

I have to say I should have never dated but I learned a lot about relationships and understanding through it. After that I prayed: Lord please give me a wife because you know whats best for me, give me a woman who will serve you first, a woman who will be fair to me because you gave me a mind and a heart to enjoy things in life, because you made fairness to be a good thing in the world and it is useful and it is good. Please give me a wife who I will be happy with.

I repeated it often and then I would add sometimes details I wanted: It'd be nice if she was a teacher, if she likes psychology, if she is a good listener, if she has light skin, if she can sing, if she wants to be a mother, if she cooks, if she sews or knows general home stuff, if she doesn't mind being at home, if she is a lot like me but not too much, if she is mexican that would be great, (a lot of these details have more details in them so please don't tell me how I'm unfair because you have likes and dislikes too if you want to know why I wanted these details just ask me) if she can teach me as much as I teach her, if we can grow together in a lot of ways, if she has protected her testimony that's I'd like that, if she isn't bothered by certain details about me, if I can be a total goof and she would be okay about it, if she was unique in her style, if she was serious enough and did not say too many jokes often, if she likes jokes but avoided bad ones. Basically what I'm saying is I was picky BUT I always said: Lord you know whats best for me You Lord God above all decide who I will be with. Your will be done God.

My faith paid off. I am going to be married to this girl with all these details I was picky about and I could never have imagined her this perfect for me. No matter how much you think you're in control, you're not. God can easily flip your world upside down. Whatever HE has planned for you, ask for something down that line. The Bible tells us what our plans are supposed to be. Above all in all relationships put God first. Thats what we are doing!

I thought I would be alone for another few years and I met this girl who I said: she's not for me. And even she told me she said: He's not for me. But God told us, talk to each other more. We thank God so much every day for what we have. God is GREAT!

So I'll be married soon

 

[BarlyGurl]

I have to say I should have never dated but I learned a lot about relationships and understanding through it. After that I prayed: Lord please give me a wife because you know whats best for me, give me a woman who will serve you first, a woman who will be fair to me because you gave me a mind and a heart to enjoy things in life, because you made fairness to be a good thing in the world and it is useful and it is good. Please give me a wife who I will be happy with.

I repeated it often and then I would add sometimes details I wanted: It'd be nice if she was a teacher, if she likes psychology, if she is a good listener, if she has light skin, if she can sing, if she wants to be a mother, if she cooks, if she sews or knows general home stuff, if she doesn't mind being at home, if she is a lot like me but not too much, if she is mexican that would be great, (a lot of these details have more details in them so please don't tell me how I'm unfair because you have likes and dislikes too if you want to know why I wanted these details just ask me) if she can teach me as much as I teach her, if we can grow together in a lot of ways, if she has protected her testimony that's I'd like that, if she isn't bothered by certain details about me, if I can be a total goof and she would be okay about it, if she was unique in her style, if she was serious enough and did not say too many jokes often, if she likes jokes but avoided bad ones. Basically what I'm saying is I was picky BUT I always said: Lord you know whats best for me You Lord God above all decide who I will be with. Your will be done God.

My faith paid off. I am going to be married to this girl with all these details I was picky about and I could never have imagined her this perfect for me. No matter how much you think you're in control, you're not. God can easily flip your world upside down. Whatever HE has planned for you, ask for something down that line. The Bible tells us what our plans are supposed to be. Above all in all relationships put God first. Thats what we are doing!

I thought I would be alone for another few years and I met this girl who I said: she's not for me. And even she told me she said: He's not for me. But God told us, talk to each other more. We thank God so much every day for what we have. God is GREAT!

So I'll be married soon

so would it be alright to summarize that you did your part in "looking" for a wife while keeping God in the equation vs. just expecting God to do it all for you????

 

[HEIsRiSen]

I haven't seen an Aussie girls on here yet, only guys and I'm not interested in guys.

There are a lot of Australian women on this site, they tend to flock to the chat rooms, the lounge more specifically.

 

[Relena7]

I don't like the thread title popping up at the top of the discussion forums. It's like it's FaceBook or something: "Why aren't you married?"

Me: "I don't know. Leave me alone, you big bully!"

 

[shae0104]

just say you are married to J.C.

 

[rachelsedge]

And it's questions like these, and the tone that quite often accompanies the question that makes so many single people feel bad about themselves, as if they are not whole on their on.

Yes, this. Being single does not equal being incomplete in some way. I, personally, do not like the term "my other half". It implies that I'm somehow lacking or missing something if I'm single. God said "The two shall become one". How much of a miracle is it when two halves become one? Not very. But for two whole people to come together as one under God is so much more amazing.

 

[surprisingrose]

Lol, Rachel, that's good .

 

[surprisingrose]

Tribulation works patience, learned a long time ago, the hard way, not to ask for patience. When I feel Jesus dealing with me about it I kindly say, "I'll work on that, Lord."

 

[Jeshuvan]

Hi Sister,I fly aircraft and love it.
there is a saying with pilots,I would rather be on the ground wishing that I was up there flying,than up flying wishing and hoping I was back on the ground.Talking about an emergency.Also in relationships,its better 2 be single, wishing and hoping u were married,than 2 be married, wishing and hoping u were single.Plus we always want God will 2 be done.Most people dont know the biblical way of marriage and how serious the covenant is 2 God. John

 

[GRA]

Im sorry you took my post as me actually believing that. It was actually a sarcastic joke. I thought you have interacted with me enough on here to realize I don't believe this way
Truth is without God in the relationship you won't have much happiness.

I quote many things in reference to whatever subject I am discussing. Doesn't mean I believe or support it.

GRA, I really do understand what you mean by this. And I understand Elizabeth was really joking and not meaning the above statement. However, when I hear other women say this, I sometimes wonder, do they think of their husband's happiness? Is it all about them? And this is from a female's perspective.

This keeps "coming up" - and it is "new to me" - so, I suppose I will address it...

My initial post in this thread (post #62) was in no way 'targeting' Elizabeth. Just because I made reference to something she said does not mean that my post was a "rebuttal" of it. Please see:

Remember: A quote is a quote is a quote... <<<<< Click on link.

Elizabeth and I "get along just fine" - and always have, as far as I can tell...

I did not regard post #18 as anything other than something someone said that I felt like adding my two cents to...

I did not write [post #62] in anger ( not even in the slightest ) -- nor did it really matter who wrote [post #18].

I simply put forth "my thoughts on the subject"...

Elizabeth:

"No worries, honey..."

 

[Bridget_Left_China]

If I knew why, don'tcha think I would've changed it by now? I know I'm not called to be single. If I were, I wouldn't have such a deep longing in my heart to be married. So, I attempt to wait patiently...and keep trying!