Why do women and men want a relationship?

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Tinkerbell725 said:
Sure you can be happy and functional alone but life with someone will make you happier and more alive. Friends cannot provide the level of intimacy that you need. And finding someone to love is not weakminded because love is only for the brave, for those who take the risk and who are not afraid to be vulnerable. And love knows no boundaries like age. You cant stop the oldies to find love because they are old. They can still dream to be happy. Dreams are not only for the young. The problem is when you are still young but your dreams are already gone. Surely not all dreams come true but it shouldnt stop you from dreaming and hoping and praying to God.
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You are absolutely right in what you have said. Love is definitely for the brave and not the feint of heart. There are friends and then there is that one best friend who is your husband or wife. I started a thread awhile back called Rules of Engagement that outlines my view on the matter of relationships. If you are lonely and desire an enduring marital relationship then you must pray to God to search and find your heart's desire.
 
There are a lot of honest, from-the-heart, and insightful responses in this thread. Reading what everyone wrote, it occurs to me that we are all looking for something different, but at the same time, we are all looking for something similar. I believe that the dichotomy between the two wherein lies the true magic of a loving relationship with someone who completes the incomplete other. We are all striving with every fiber of our being to grab hold of the one person who will, like the final puzzle piece, complete our lives and bring something to us that we can not hope to bring to ourselves...What could this self-unattainable missing piece of our puzzle be? The answer is simple:


tourist said:
You are absolutely right in what you have said. Love is definitely for the brave and not the feint of heart. There are friends and then there is that one best friend who is your husband or wife. If you are lonely and desire an enduring marital relationship then you must pray to God to search and find your heart's desire.
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JeniBean said:
Hey I have been unmarried for 9 years now and when GOD is ready to lead me to the awesome Christian man he has for me who can be my best friend and have GOD as the center of our relationship, that man will understand that I need some space, that I am set in many ways, however I can compromise and my decorating is awesome because its leathers and bold and no fu-fu girly stuff any where! He will accept I have my favorite teams and he has his and when they play...game on. But there will be friendship and love and support and GOD leading us.
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egeiro said:

We desire to be completely seen by someone. We desire to be completely vulnerable, even if we suck at communicating feelings or not. We desire to be 'known', really 'known', whether it be the odd little quirks in our behaviour or the terrain of our skin. In a way, it reflects God's desire to be known by His people, a yearning for deep relationship. I guess, by design, we desire deeper relationship and intimacy because our God is an intimate God.
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...or is it something so much more?

zeroturbulence said:
I don't wanna have to make my own sammiches.
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egeiro said:
"So one can delight in making the sandwiches and other can enjoy eating them."
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"By this time they were in front of Peter’s house. On entering, Jesus found Peter’s mother-in-law sick in bed, burning up with fever. He touched her hand and the fever was gone. No sooner was she up on her feet than she was fixing dinner for him." Matthew 8:14-15 (Msg)

The answer is simple: sammiches. Good enough for the Savior, good enough for me.
 
Born_Again said:
First, this is just an inquiry. Second, yea, we come on here to hang out. But it doesn't mean that is evidence to be in a committed relationship. I already noted in my original post that I like to hang out with friends but it doesn't mean I need to be around people all the time. And, I don't know about the rest of you, I find it quite difficult to emotionally attach to someone via computer screen. "Hey, I couldn't help but notice your typing skills... I think im in love." LOL
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It does happen though and writing got both of us interested in each other one tourist and I right here on this very site CC we met and typed our way right into marriage. Even had our first anniversary in November 2015....So nothing is impossible with God....

I didn't come to CC looking for a husband by the way but it did happen and we are quite happy and we aren't kids either..... Sometimes you just have to meet the right person at the right time and if God is in the relationship yep you want it.
 
Born_Again said:
Believe it or not, there is no bitterness or unforgiveness. The ex and I get along very well. We are both happier apart from each other. Yea, Im not a fan of the whole child support thing, but it is what it is. I see things the way I see them now because I have the opportunity to see thing from the outside looking in now. I am not, and never have been the hopeless romantic type. Am I looking for someone to convince me? No, not really. I more or less am trying to understand the emotionally co-dependent personality type.


Okay, tell me this. ( now that I think about it) What is the point if, noticeably on here I might add, its possible to still be 40, 50, or even 60 years old and still have the mindset of "Some day when I meet Mr. or Mrs. right? Really? My point behind that is, why keep lieing to ourselves? I don't understand it. Yea, we all get lonely. It happens. Its human nature. But, to think that being in a committed relationship will solve it is just asinine. Good friends can serve the same purpose.

Because, honestly, by now, it all sounds like "Somebody love me!!!! Please!!"

Look at Valentines day. You can be assured there is always one day a year that the lack of a companion is guaranteed to raise its head. So those who were already down about their situation will feel even worse. All because a holiday says "find someone to love". Rather weak minded I would say. Good marketing and media can dictate your emotions. Congratulations. C'mon, be in the world, not of it.

So what if its Gods will to not be with someone? What are the odds that you will still, daily, pray for the perfect guy/gal to come into your life only to be disappointed at the end of each day? Because its what you want. Not what you do or do not need.

This isn't bitterness or unforgiveness or regret. Its logical and reasonable.

BA
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Was married at 17 and divorced at 24 and stayed single for 35 years and at 59 got married again.... Was I always searching for Mr. Right? No and figured I would toe tag out of life single. But along came an internet fella who took an interest in a 59 year old Blond who had been enjoying life making my own decisions and had my house close to decorated the way I wanted it. But when the right one comes along you just know it and age doesn't have anything to do with it....It can happen any time any where.

If you don't ever want to get married again then don't do it but don't phoo phoo the idea cause it can happen.
 
To do and be something better that someone else has never been..... hope that doesn't bring in more questions! :)
 
GaryA said:
LOL

"In classic NukePooch fashion..." :D

:)
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Thanks.
~takes a bow~

Also in my repertoire is when I dispense with the sarcasm and let someone else speak my heart.


Why do we want relationships?
LaLa & Louise's 60 years of memories is a better answer than I could ever come up with.

[video=youtube;t6i6TBT4kfg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6i6TBT4kfg[/video]
 
always be yourself... unless you can be batman, then always be batman.
 
God made man and woman, and suggested male/female relationships.. "And the man shall leave his home, and the woman shall leave her home and the two shall become one flesh". Not a direct quote, but it's close.

When a male/female relationship is going well it's obvious in the marriage what the benefits are. If someone needs reminded of the rules of marriage, look up the vows. They should be taken seriously, too often these days they are not. They were written for a reason. And not just in anxious anticipation of kissing the bride either!! :)
 
RissaBug said:
I seek it for the companionship and partnership that friends can't supply. I seek it for the Biblical roles that compliment each other. Having someone to do life with. I live on my own and I do enjoy it, but there are times that I wish I had someone with me who stayed with me.

I had a very difficult autumn. My whole life turned upside down, and depression came with it. I knew my first year of teaching would be difficult, which is why when I was in college, I not-so-jokingly prayed I would be married by the time I got my first teaching job. That didn't happen. I'd like to know if it would have been any better with a spouse. I felt so alone in everything. I reached out for help soooo much but it wasn't enough.

I want to have someone who knows. What do I mean? Rabbit trail... When everything hit the fan at my job and I was at my lowest, I had two people who knew what was going on: my mom and my friend Adam. They were the only two who knew because they were the only two people available when I needed someone to talk to on my way to and from work. It was the only time I had to talk to anyone outside of work, and if I didn't call someone, I would fall asleep at the wheel. Mom lives too far away to really be there. Adam could, but he decided to be "afk" at the worst time possible. Everyone else had questions. They didn't know what led up to my resignation so they could be there for me emotionally. They didn't understand and I did not want to explain it. I wanted to forget everything and just be with someone who knew. It still hurts.

I want to have someone there when I wake up with another nightmare.

Then there are the little things. I'd like to have someone to do errands with that knows what kind of peanut butter I like, and I know his favorite yogurt. I'd like read in the same room and watch his face when he gets to the good part in the book I've already read. I'd like to not feel incredibly vulnerable when I hear a noise in the house at night. I get my gun, but I'm still alone. I want to cook for more than just myself.

I want to be more selfless. More gentle with my words. More patient. More forgiving. And I know those things aren't easily cultivated when you live alone.

I could go on and on. But now you've got me emotional.
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I don't think you could have said not too much better than that....words mean more than material comfort....a touch means more than having a place that reflects you... Someone there who is "a part of you" it's hard to even give it words...its an intimacy that goes beyond the physical...
 
We ought to give the Word of God a chance to answer our questions: in this matter God's Word tells us that if we have no need for companionship we do well; notwithstanding if we cannot contain, that is, if we cannot be without companionship, then let us get married, for it is better to marry, then to lust for. This is the cause that a man will leave his father and mother, and cling unto a wife: companionship. Two walking together are better than one, for if one falls alone, there is none to help him up; but when we are two as one, then we help each other in our struggles in life, especially those that believe.
 
If people haven't said it yet, one good reason is to avoid the sin of adultery/fornication. I think Paul said something about that...

Having a wife and kids to love on is pretty nice too.
 
Ultimately, a marriage is meant to be a living example of Christ's relationship to His Bride, the Church. So, part of the way that married people share God with the world is by creating a good marriage. In other words, a good marriage is a visual depiction of Christ and the Church. (Much like Hosea's marriage to Gomer displayed the relationship between Israel and God).

God also uses a marriage as a crucible to burn off all the dross.

Of course, singleness is its own sort of crucible.

I'm not a fan of people who presume that singles are somehow more selfish than married people or parents. Personally, I don't know of any particular group that gets a free pass when it comes to suffering. God uses suffering to burn away our impurities, and it'll happen no matter our life circumstances.

There are good reasons to remain single. I'm not sure, however, that fear is a good reason to avoid doing anything in particular. Avoiding marriage doesn't protect people from suffering. I've suffered a lot at the hands of "friends." I suppose that one could avoid relationships of all sorts because people have a tendency to disappoint and hurt us, but then you'll suffer in an entirely different way.
 
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