Why should the guy ASK the girl out, and, not the other way around, ever ?

[GreenNnice]

I tend to be the pursuer in relationships. Most guys I am interested in are EXTREMELY shy. Come on...men can appreciate being pursued. Some guys even find it more attractive. I can say I was the pursuer in most of my relationships.

OK. I can understand a girl wanting to pursue a guy, but, I think, if you read my initial post, that you will see that I give the girl TOTAL liberty to pretty much go all out in getting the guy to make a move, as, you can set the ball in motion, so to speak, but.....

If you've said something like, "I really think you are soooo funny," when he is talking to you, and, he does not get a clue TO ASK YOU OUT when you are staring at him like this:

Then, he's got a serious get-a-clue problem, or, just is tooo shy and he gonna miss the girl

BUT, if you can absolutely feel the Lord leading you to say something more after he's still clueless to your saying you think he is 'ssooo funny,' then, go for it, what are you led to say next? "I'm free Friday" might work.

But , seriously, can't a girl let a guy know that she is really interested, really, really, really interested in the guy so much so that if he just doesn't ask you out he just don't deserve to go out with you. GO find a different fish in the sea.

The man is to be the head of the family, and the leader of the home.

When I was a kid (10yrs old) I used to say "If a man doesn't have the balls to ask me out, then he wont be man enough to lead the family."

Hey, careful, that hurt, we guys are fragile, LydiaHisgirl. Please, use less inflammatory language, girl, cuz we guys, you know, have feelings too.

But, yeah, that's true, a guy who can't get a clue to ask you out when you've done everything possible for a girl to do but actually say, 'Will you go out with me, you knucklehead?' then it's time to think this guy you think is adorable looking, or, manly, or, however 'hunky' to you IS just, hmm, well is jsut NOT ready for a girl like you. God's got a better guppy out there for you. Go fish in a different pond. The Lord leads.

He will catch you a fish, if it's His will. In fact, He will catch you enough , in different outings, of course , to feed 5000 people.

artyiste ?


What on earth?

Yeah, when I meet someone who is an artist, I call them 'artiste,' so, yeah, you're artyiste to me, brother, I nic everyone that doesn't mind, blessings, bro.
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Yes, I know, it sounds strangely (or, not so strangely) similar to artyiste's thread but I found his thread strangely vague, pun intended, or, unstrangely, maybe, idk.

But, "the first move" is vague to me, I think, a girl CAN make the first move to asking a guy out, but, that move does NOT include actually asking the guy out. Do everything in your power, which is His (God's) power in you, to get that guy to see the spirit of the Lord in you and to see you are really taking a liking to the fellow, with creative words. But, just don't use sexy words is my best advice and do hint that you like him by saying something that willl appeal to his afraidness (is that a word?) to ask you out

 

[wisebeardman]

I dont do any asking. its just not worth wasting my time cause its a 99.999999999999999999999% chance its going to end in rejection anyway. so why bother.

if someone actually wants me, they can tell me.

 

[ServantStrike]

And guys, don't be afraid to borrow quotes from movies.

Like, work this into the conversation when you ask out a lady.

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

 

[GreenNnice]

I dont do any asking. its just not worth wasting my time cause its a 99.999999999999999999999% chance its going to end in rejection anyway. so why bother.

if someone actually wants me, they can tell me.

Even if she looks at you like this, wisebeardedone, wouldn't you ask her out then ? C'mon, I'm telling you, if a girl looks at you this longingly--and one will, if you let the Lord lead! Maybe. The Lord leads -- won't you RISK the ask

And guys, don't be afraid to borrow quotes from movies.

Like, work this into the conversation when you ask out a lady.

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

And, then, HisservantstriKer, you say, * 'My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die ! '


Oh, wait, ugggh, uhh, hmm, where is Bill The Cat when you need him. ACK!! Dooooon't say that. Noooo



*From the Princess Bride movie, of course.

 

[wisebeardman]

Even if she looks at you like this, wisebeardedone, wouldn't you ask her out then ? C'mon, I'm telling you, if a girl looks at you this longingly--and one will, if you let the Lord lead! Maybe. The Lord leads -- won't you RISK the ask

.

Nope I wont ask at all. and you know looking at that pic.. the 1st thing that popped in my head was Chris Hanson please have a seat over here.

 

[GreenNnice]

Nope I wont ask at all. and you know looking at that pic.. the 1st thing that popped in my head was Chris Hanson please have a seat over here.

Ok, fair enough, that girl only makes you want to find Christ Hanson (by the way ,who is Chris Hanson )


wisebeardedone, what about a girl like this looking at you ?

 

[wisebeardman]

Ok, fair enough, that girl only makes you want to find Christ Hanson (by the way ,who is Chris Hanson )


wisebeardedone, what about a girl like this looking at you ?

um no.

chris hanson... google the guy.... words can not describe.

 

[GreenNnice]

um no.

chris hanson... google the guy.... words can not describe.

Chris Hanson, yeah, got it, I think , saw words 'child predator,' and, thought enough.

anyway, it was 'the look,' not the girl, that mattered in the picture and it was the first one I found (the only one of a girl gazing) in my scrolling down the page on the 'droopy puppy dog eyes' page, well, the only picture besides the one that I posted right after her

 

[MartyrNdaMaKn]

I would have to say I've had some very interesting experiences when it has come to woman asking me out, usually the have some one ask me out for them... which seems very odd to me. Must mean I don't look that approachable or something of that nature...lol.

 

[GreenNnice]

I would have to say I've had some very interesting experiences when it has come to woman asking me out, usually the have some one ask me out for them... which seems very odd to me. Must mean I don't look that approachable or something of that nature...lol.

Sure, that can be the case. There are situations that warrant a girl to just be in a position to ask the guy out, I'm not thinking of many, if, any, but, hey, sure, the Lord leads. A girl can ASK the guy out and it can work out because God will make it good if we have FAITH in Him, ndamOK. 'Course, this goes for any and all situation of our life, as, HEY!, we are human, we err. But, good news ! God is ALWAYS there

 

[MartyrNdaMaKn]

very true, but as for me i prefer being the proactive one and taking the lead, just in my nature not used to being the reactive one.

 

[surprisingrose]

Put pretty simple the bible tells are that men are meant to be the leaders. If he won't even lead to ask me out... how will be lead our household? i want a bold, , strong, godly man... Just sayin'.

 

[wisebeardman]

Put pretty simple the bible tells are that men are meant to be the leaders. If he won't even lead to ask me out... how will be lead our household? i want a bold, , strong, godly man... Just sayin'.

just cause someone wont ask, dont mean they cant lead.

if you stick your hand in the candle flame and it burns you and it hurts really bad, you are not going to keep sticking your hand in the flame are ya? same with asking. get burned enough and you get tired of getting burned and you smarten up and just quit bothering.

 

[GreenNnice]

just cause someone wont ask, dont mean they cant lead.

if you stick your hand in the candle flame and it burns you and it hurts really bad, you are not going to keep sticking your hand in the flame are ya? same with asking. get burned enough and you get tired of getting burned and you smarten up and just quit bothering.

Yeah, but you are on c.c. and you say some funny things and you are loved by us and God Loves you, too, wisebeardedone, as you know, and, I would just say, again, that God will NEVER let your burn be worse than you can handle

So, how badly have you been burned is, maybe, the best question and then to pray to God for if you can handle getting potentially burned again. And, who knows (He knows ) , you could then find some 'one' from Him who gives you a smile and a warm embrace in your meeting her. And she changes your alone life to together and together with 'her' is one that will be much better than just you together with you .

Just saying, bro, the Lord leads, and, all I am saying is that we, you, I, all guys who are single, to His leading.

 

[wisebeardman]

I am smart enough not to stick my hand in the candle flame.

like I said, if someone actually wants me, they can tell me so.

 

[secularhermit]

When I was a kid (10yrs old) I used to say "If a man doesn't have the balls to ask me out, then he wont be man enough to lead the family."

Hey!

As a JOKE: May I take you OUT?

Here we call that "asaltador de cunas"... Someone else wrote the English way I am reminded now.

No way! Too old and, at the same time, TWO youngs. (and you are OLDER THAN ME).

 

[secularhermit]

I am smart enough not to stick my hand in the candle flame.

like I said, if someone actually wants me, they can tell me so.

This reminded me a song of Steve Perry (Journey). He said something like: " If you need me, call me..."

 

[secularhermit]

Put pretty simple the bible tells are that men are meant to be the leaders. If he won't even lead to ask me out... how will be lead our household? i want a bold, , strong, godly man... Just sayin'.

I reply RESPECTFULLY TO THIS. Let´s say that is "biblical". Let´s say it is completelly true. My question still being: Why do some women change that when marriage? I have seen so many bossy girls and women that it is hard to believe (although I know the Christian background) and I HAVE LIKED sinceres responses of a red-haired lady here, on C.C.

Just trying to get a broader wide. Since some friends I have now have married bossy women, and sometimes I HEARD and listen what they fight and discuss (Note that NOT MANY are real Christians as you are) but I still being puzzled. Just to the point some men still say: What did I saw that I merried her?

In may case, I married the wrong person, and she married me for the same mistake. We both got children, but she wanted to rule them the way she thought best, and now -she alone- has the economic burden and, when she has needed me to back up or support, I have to remind her: YOU many times removed my authoritative role play. How come YOUR children will listen to their DAD, if you played my role and, when I fought to make my part, your family stood with you against my will.

Just to leave YOU ALL an idea on how wrong WE could be at roleplaying.

Marriege is a BLESSING, It is possible, but many things are pending to be sorted out before a second chance: Another wedding (the "party" is inside those homes to build).

 

[Art05]

That's not always the case though. My dad pursued my mom first, and eventually she became the leader of the household. She got so fed up with doing everything that now they're divorced. My mom said at times it felt like she was the only adult in the house.

Just because a man pursues doesn't necessarily mean he'll be a good leader of the household.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

[GreenNnice]

Is this like the 5th thread with the same theme? (at least the 5th this year)

This year, more like this quarter!

My thread puts an emphasis on the 'ASK' and artyiste puts the emphasis on 'the first move,' they are similar, very similar but different, oh, so different, I think. But, yes, I agree, I've done several threads on this subject.

Hopefully, from my doing several threads on this subject, everyone can see that I just want God's hand in all our lives, from first move to first ASK to first (and only) marriage that you, I, we ALL are in, if He so leads us to ever be in one

That's not always the case though. My dad pursued my mom first, and eventually she became the leader of the household. She got so fed up with doing everything that now they're divorced. My mom said at times it felt like she was the only adult in the house.

Just because a man pursues doesn't necessarily mean he'll be a good leader of the household.

This example is sad, as artyiste says, I agree, but, it's not an example for a woman to ask a guy out, colakid, I don't think, there is nothing there to discourage men from wanting to be the ones to ask out the ladies 99.9% of the time (I use that percent for making a point of almost always that's who does the asking out It's not a complete rule, as, again, God, ultimately, puts an 'ASK' on our heart. I just think, it's the guy whose heart God's going to put the ASK on ) .

Your mom became the leader of the house for what reason is the question and my thread will become de-railed if we talk about this so let's not, but, colakid, you are WELCOME to PM (private message) me , bro, I am from a broken home too so I know what it's like for problems to develop, and, yes, my dad started out as the leader too but my mom took over that role and dad did not do anything to stop it. Could he have? Of course, he didn't have faith in God to stop it.

Anyway, that's OK, I love my mom and my dad but , yes, I can see what your mom is saying and it's because she longed for your dad to be the one 'wearing the pants' but he never did. I'm guessing, she was doing things that were in opposition of what your dad liked being done. She did those things to have him take control, but he just let things continue to go, which allowed things to spiral out of control in your mom and dad's marriage.


Again, a man begins the ROOTS of a relationship by ASKING the girl out, that is why I emphasize that importance, too, I think. The Lord leads The only exception I see to the (unwritten) rule that a guy is to ask out a girl IS that a girl will ask the guy out and then she REALIZES 1,000,000,000,0000....% (one zillion percent, sorry, I didn't want to be writing '0s) all day ) that the verses of Ephesians 5 and Titus 2 are to be followed and she is 1,000,000......% to be submitting to her man and when he begins to tail off and be submissive--which men will do, at times--your job, miladies, as the 'wife,' is to GET that man back on track as the LEADER of the home Because this is His leading for him and you know it, too per Scripture