Why you want some rich guy in nice threads instead guy clothed in His righteousness?

[rachelsedge]

I think we can all agree that it's "what's on the inside" that counts: their character, their relationship with God, their personality, etc.

However, this can come in different "packages". For some, it will be in paint-stained clothing with dirty hands and holes in their jeans (go Markum1972!). For some, it will be in button-down (or up? Either way works I guess) shirts, clean jeans, and shiny hair. Or both, even. I dress somewhat nice (casual-nice) but I also know how to get out in the dirt and play with kids and not even care that the hose they are spraying me with will likely cause my hair to become a frizz-ball later.

As long as you (general you) are not focused on your clothing more than what's really important, I don't see a problem with the way someone dresses, meaning I don't think you have to dress a certain way to be pleasing to God (unless we're talking about modesty, in which case we do, but that's a different topic than the one that's at hand).

 

[Powemm]

oh yes ! Those beautiful golden scales. of balance..

 

[Shouryu]

I'm just going to throw this out there to start.

A lot depends on your upbringing, and a lot depends on your environment.

I teach in public school. The students have a dress code, and so does the faculty. I go above and beyond, because, believe it or not, it helps me teach. I attended a clinic my first year of teaching that dealt with rehearsal discipline, and the clinician pointed out that you can instill a level of respect in your students without ever saying a word. If you look like they should respect you, it will be that much easier for them to do so. The next logical question was, how nice does that mean? And his response was, "Any parent or visitor on your campus, when they first see you, they should assume that you must be a principal or assistant principal." I stick by that guideline most of the year (Aug, Sept, and May are TOO flippin' hot to wear a tie EVERY day, so usually 2 times a week until Oct), and he's right. My students respond differently when I am in a tie versus not in a tie. This is the nature of my environment, not me dressing boastfully. I still get funny looks when I walk into the gym in slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie, but that's how I work, and it's how I work best.

When it comes to God's House, I was raised a certain way. I know we live in a different era now, where, "Come as you are" is the defining guideline, and that's fine. For everyone else. But I can't do jeans and a tee. Can't. Can't can't can't. I was raised, as a preacher's kid, no less, that one of the ways we show respect for God's House is by dressing nice. It's just how I was raised. I even feel underdressed in slacks and a polo! But that's me - it's not universal. It's Romans 14, where I am weak and others are strong. I pass no judgement on the the rest of the congregation, many of whom are in jeans and an untucked cabana shirt. I've started to dress down a little, because I don't want the congregation to feel like I'm showing off, because I'm not...but I just can't bring myself to go any less casual than a long sleeved dress shirt and slacks. Somedays, I just have to put a tie on, and it's almost like I can't stop myself. This is who I am; this is how I was raised.

(Luckily, the pastor ALWAYS dresses nicer than me. Even when he skips the tie, he has a waistcoat and sports jacket. Whew!)

Neither of these situations are a display of wealth or vanity. They're a matter of appropriateness and upbringing. I will admit that two Christmases ago, I treated myself by buying some expensive dress shirts specifically because they fit. I'm sure many of the women here can relate, sometimes it's just hard to find certain things that fit, and for me, that's dress shirts. These were Brooks Brothers shirts that were low maintenance (dry and hang - woot!) and they fit. So I spent $160 on three shirts, and it boggles my mind that some people actually can look at the shirt and instantly know the label! I don't wear it for the label, I wear it because it fits! And it did get uncomfortable, thinking that people might be assuming that I normally spend big bucks on clothes, when I don't. So I solved the problem a better way. I had some nice, inexpensive dress shirts that fit terrible...and I took them to a tailor. Yay, they fit! But no one ever mistakes them for Brooks Brothers, and I couldn't care less. (Seriously, how do people do that? "Oooh, Perry Ellis." HOW DO YOU KNOW?!?!?!)

 

[Tintin]

As a primary teacher, I have to wear a tie in Terms 2 and 3 but they're not compulsory in Terms 1 and 4 (our Aussie Spring and Summer are just too hot for ties). I find I have to buy more expensive long-sleeve shirts because I'm tall and regular shirts just don't fit me. When I don't have to dress formally, I dress smart casual. At home, I just wear whatever though.

 

[DuchessAimee]

Gentlemen, dress the way you want to dress. Except in baggy pants. That's just ridiculous.



[video=youtube_share;Xevjs_dtkk8]http://youtu.be/Xevjs_dtkk8[/video]

 

[Theophane]

I would like to choose a guy who has a humble God fearing heart, and who chooses to be upright in the eyes of God. I would never choose a godless rich man .

A rich man, godless or otherwise, can provide for a woman in ways I can't. I am not rich. At the moment, I have only a few dollars holding open my chequing account. Even if I were saintly enough to have miracles attributed to me, with no money and no job I have very little to offer.

 

[Buff_Old_Guy]

A clean shirt and pair of pants is all I ask for--pants that don't look like you've slept in them scores major points. A lot of guys seem to have problems managing even that--not all, of course, but many. It doesn't matter if they're clothes from the thrift shop--a neat appearance--combed hair, brushed teeth, pants that don't look like you've unwadded them from the bottom of the laundry basket--goes a long way in making a good impression.

And, to my knowledge, a well-fitting, (not ill-fitting or too tight) outfit such as this (clean shirt, pressed pants) is also generally not a lust magnet, at least not to me.

Unless, I suppose, one is lusting after sparkling cleanliness, or that fact that she's looking at a many who cares about his appearance and hygiene.

(This is also just me but I tend to NOT be attracted to guys who try to show off their work at the gym simply because it really does seem like they're trying too hard and putting too much faith in appearance alone.)

I've always been attracted to the kinda shy guy in the corner who is the most interesting person in the room, if you just talk to him.

But it does help if he wears a clean shirt and pants.

I'd still stick with God's word... when it says "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Because even if a guy doesn't wear a clean shirt... say he had an accident.. oops. He spilled some kool-aid on his shirt. The you walk into the room and judge his shirt. And you walk around to the opposite of the room cause that guy just isn't worth your time. Well, because of that.. you may have missed out on the man of your dreams. Do you see what I mean?

It would better to sit down next to a man and just be nice, and talk to him and get to know him inside out. And see him, not his shirt or pants instead.

 

[jimmydiggs]

I prefer to be cheap. It allows for money to be invested in things far more important and lasting than what sally and susan think about my white T and how they wish I'd worn a polo, because, "thats the man thing to do."

I also like to dress plain, as long as it is modest, I don't believe we should wear frilly/expensive junk, so that we don't think too much of ourselves and look down upon those who aren't wearing sweater vests. If people think I'm social scum, because of my plainness, fine by me. If it's not man enough for you, I think you ought to get a more biblical understanding of manhood.

 

[MissCris]

This is turning into a lot of "what ifs" and unlikely circumstance situations...as far as I can tell, anyway (sorry, I only skimmed this thread).

When I met my husband, he was wearing a McDonald's uniform, and he smelled like a 3-day old cheeseburger. When we went on our first date, he wore clean jeans and a fairly expensive collared shirt. Sometimes he's been flat broke, sometimes he's had more money than he really knew what to do with.

Through all of it, I've loved him. Through all of it, he has loved the Lord.

Picking apart people's preferences, what initially attracts them to someone else, is kind of silly.

 

[Fenner]

I also like to dress plain, as long as it is modest, I don't believe we should wear frilly/expensive junk, so that we don't think too much of ourselves and look down upon those who aren't wearing sweater vests. If people think I'm social scum, because of my plainness, fine by me. If it's not man enough for you, I think you ought to get a more biblical understanding of manhood.[/QUOTE]


I don't know if they still make sweater vests.

 

[Buff_Old_Guy]

I think we can all agree that it's "what's on the inside" that counts: their character, their relationship with God, their personality, etc.

However, this can come in different "packages". For some, it will be in paint-stained clothing with dirty hands and holes in their jeans (go Markum1972!). For some, it will be in button-down (or up? Either way works I guess) shirts, clean jeans, and shiny hair. Or both, even. I dress somewhat nice (casual-nice) but I also know how to get out in the dirt and play with kids and not even care that the hose they are spraying me with will likely cause my hair to become a frizz-ball later.

As long as you (general you) are not focused on your clothing more than what's really important, I don't see a problem with the way someone dresses, meaning I don't think you have to dress a certain way to be pleasing to God (unless we're talking about modesty, in which case we do, but that's a different topic than the one that's at hand).

There's only one problem I noticed with this...

Say Sarah walks into a room. Let's say this is a young adult group and she cares about a man's appearance... just a little.

She's looking for Christian men that could potentially be more than just friends. She cares about the way a man looks.. just a little. So she sticks around with the nicer looking men and avoids the rest. [STOP]

Right there, it doesn't matter if Sarah cares about looks just a little.. or a lot. Because of her strategy... nice looks is the #1 most important thing. Why? Because Sarah avoids the rest. The other men don't even get a shot. It's become a black and white, absolute scenorio. Appearances is the most important thing if this approach is taken. She has avoided the less appealing men and for all she knows one of those guys is the man of her dreams. And she just cares about appearances.... just a little.

The "admission ticket" is the most important thing in that scenorio because that's what starts a friendship and then up to something more. In the example, the "admission ticket" is Christian guy that looks "nice" enough for Sarah.

I'd advise not to care about looks... not even a bit... to both men and women. I know people have "preferences" about looks (race [which I think is racist], body-type, clothes.. etc etc) but I think people are just making things more difficult for themeselves to add that in. But, most importantly, I think it's not following God's ways....


John 7:24

Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly."

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Proverbs 31:30

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

1 Timothy 2:9

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,

Matthew 23:28

So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.


I think God would want us to look at people's hearts instead of what look we like the best.

 

[Fenner]

My advice, marry someone who is kind to others. If they have a good relationship with their parents that's also a bonus. If they ever hurt an animal fun, then run because that's crazy!

 

[seoulsearch]

I'd still stick with God's word... when it says "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Because even if a guy doesn't wear a clean shirt... say he had an accident.. oops. He spilled some kool-aid on his shirt. The you walk into the room and judge his shirt. And you walk around to the opposite of the room cause that guy just isn't worth your time. Well, because of that.. you may have missed out on the man of your dreams. Do you see what I mean?

It would better to sit down next to a man and just be nice, and talk to him and get to know him inside out. And see him, not his shirt or pants instead.

You missed my point.

I was assuming the guy involved is a God-fearing Christian... For me, that kinda goes without saying.

And I believe in a God-fearing guy who believes in being a good steward of what he has, including his clothes (no matter what their cost or lack there of) and appearance.

Also, right in my post, I already said exactly what you're saying--that sometimes the most interesting guy in the room is the one in the corner, if only you take the time to talk to him. In fact, in my original post in this thread, I already stated that I've never had an incidence where I was attracted to a guy's material things because none of the guys I had relationships with ever had anything!

If you read my post it's there already. Sitting down and talking to him is exactly my point, but a clean, neat does make a difference in how approachable a person appears to be.

All I'm saying is, no matter what someone does or does not have, take the time to look like you care about what God entrusts you with.

 

[savedNblessed]

Why ?
Why do you get attracted to the guy with the nice boat when the guy you really want is the 'pure vessel' simply wanting to.be used by Him. Money not his thang, never will be, he tells you so, this 'vessel' God-pumped-up-for-serving guy.

Yes, him.

So, why him?

What's to love about a rich, sharp-dressed man guy who will wine and dine you and, who is handsome and successful and Godless in his life?

What?

Enquiring guy minds want to.know why you choose to.wait on him and not Him.
Don't you know He HAS a beautiful 'wait' plan for you, miladies ! The best, man, I mean, woman

(Isaiah 40:31) Those who wait on the Lord will.walk and not grow weary, run, and, not faint, and, they will.be lifted up with wings like eagles.

He will liFT you up, in this way, where YOU belong . Just be patient, might be months, might be years, or, hey, like me (from a guy's perspec) NEVER , oh, OK, I still DO hold my heart open tho I older, the Lord leads, I've been (purely) patient this long .


$o,, miladies, Who do.you want to rich in, Him or him, remember, you can't serve TWO.masters, you will either love the one and hate the other or, vice versa, Scripture tells us

So, him , or, Him ?

Who.will you walk.with on the street tonight ? His great 'guns' or his forever roses of real.Love, because he loves Him.
Oh, by the way, YOU can HAVE the first guy right now, he will lift you up where you don't belong, where you won't belong Yeah, yeah, just a little patience, yeah, yeah, that will do.it, just a little and THAT GREAT GOD clothed guy will.step.through, right? Probably not, right

But, take heart, with knowing His Love for you is patient, and, IF you do/have erred, picked some rich , sharp dressed Godless guy, just go.to.Him, in tears, contrite, and, patiently then start all over, peeling off the filth of what you're being, and, getting to.what's underneath, clothed now, you, in His righteousness, you, my precious miladies, are now up where you belong

Now, that wasn't such a bad thread to muddy on through now, was it.
Sometimes, and, I can hope and pray this thread qualifies, can be worth a lot of patience to see, in the end, that there is forgiving thinking that makes all the accusational.and tough to read stuff worth it in the end

May God bless you, miladies, perfectly ALL made beautiful by His plans (Jer. 29:11) before you were born (Psalms 139) with a faith and resilliency to never leave Him (Hebrews 13:5)

As a believer, who also happens to be single, my thinking is that "if he doesn't love the CREATOR, he won't love His creation aka ME" plus, I could always put him in a nice suit whenever I want to ;-) So yea, he gotta know the Lord and love Him, more than anything else. Peace!

 

[rachelsedge]

There's only one problem I noticed with this...

Say Sarah walks into a room. Let's say this is a young adult group and she cares about a man's appearance... just a little.

She's looking for Christian men that could potentially be more than just friends. She cares about the way a man looks.. just a little. So she sticks around with the nicer looking men and avoids the rest. [STOP]

Right there, it doesn't matter if Sarah cares about looks just a little.. or a lot. Because of her strategy... nice looks is the #1 most important thing. Why? Because Sarah avoids the rest. The other men don't even get a shot. It's become a black and white, absolute scenorio. Appearances is the most important thing if this approach is taken. She has avoided the less appealing men and for all she knows one of those guys is the man of her dreams. And she just cares about appearances.... just a little.

It sounds like Sarah cares about appearances a LOT, not a little. She's completely avoiding people who have a different taste in style than she does, and I don't think my post alluded to that being okay...

My post was directed less at "Why are women shallow and only like rich guys with yachts and polo shirts and windswept hair" and more at the notion that "People can't look nice AND serve God."

 

[zeroturbulence]

My advice, marry someone who is kind to others. If they have a good relationship with their parents that's also a bonus. If they ever hurt an animal fun, then run because that's crazy!

That's perfect wisdom right there!

 

[Powemm]

I have to say Jimmy diggs hit the nail on the head for me ..( saving and spending money towards either immediate or
Long term goals together as a couple ) the scales
Of balance can be off if you have one worried about attire and one striving for long term goals ..to me it slows the wheels down.. my conclusion though, is if "both" people want to get where they're going with all the bells and whistles , looking nice and being slower getting there.. then shoot! Go for it !!
I also thought about zeros post about suddenly being left a lot of money..
Me personally , I would still be as frugal and financially modest as I am now ..
i don't see a problem on either side if two are in agreement and the scale balances
Out .

 

[Markum1972]

Gentlemen, dress the way you want to dress. Except in baggy pants. That's just ridiculous.

Does this mean that we have all come in one accord and agreement that baggy pants are ungodly? LOL

 

[April5]

Whether rich or poor, it's all in the mindset and heart for me all other things do not matter if you really think about it. God gives us life, life as in the kind that makes us meaningful and alive inside I just care if the guy has strong faith and a good relationship with God. He could be rich, but I actually have a habit of throwing things away haha, I really really dislike materialistic things, I would love to have like a one room shack and just live off the word of God. I mean there isn't so much bad as to have things, but the psychology behind it makes me think, we can live so happily with just God, too many things can be distracting and lead us astray. It can also lead us to putting our love and interest in other things. The sole basis of life is just to be with God. god made man to be with Him, for him to love us and us to love Him when you think of life, the meaning being that simple, nothing else matters as much or even at all, and it makes me happy knowing the simplicity of it. He makes me happy I personally believe God made man and woman for companionship and to know God together. We have been born into this world where people think its about how supportive a man can be for his lady in financial terms and other stuff. Well if we think outside of what we were born have a mindset with God, it doesn't matter wisdom is far more useful and fulfilling I would love to just have all the free wisdom in the world, having things mean so little in my mind now. It didn't used to always be that way, but God has changed my thinking. I have only Him to thank for this new thinking. Pray for wisdom people it makes you happier than happy God will give you wisdom, all you have to do is ask He is so loving and caring, just so completely awesome, unbelievably breathtaking in what He can do yeah haha, so God bless!!!!! Gosh I'm just so thankful for this site

 

[April5]

Yes!!!!!!!!! Nothing else matters except the mindset and the relationship with what you have with God. To have a higher mindset, to not think of this world where people judge based on basically everything. Clothes? Just threads placed together on your skin? To judge by looks, a little, actually very harsh haha. It's very askew for another human to judge another one based on how they are born. Anybody could have an accident and end up not looking like their own self anymore, what difference does it make other than the surface. Each person born into this world, maybe in a background that judges far more than another mind, but we all have to strive for the wisdom that only God can really provide to have thoughts like Him, to be raised out of that pit because each time we learn and acquire a higher mindset, it really furthers our happiness and brings us loser to God. Great bible verses really glad you shared your thoughts!! God bless wish you a happy life filled with blessings and bliss.