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Searching4Truth

Searching4Truth

Senior Member
Jul 25, 2012
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So, why are you single? Is is by choice? Is it not by choice? Is there something wrong with your personality? Is there something wrong with theirs? Is there a medical reason? Is the reason biblical? Spiritual perhaps? Mental or physical? You you have picky needs? Are you somewhere with slim pickings? Is this too personal to ask? Are you scared to ask them out? Are you silently discouraging yourself? Do people think you're over confident? Are your standards so high you can find them? Do you even care to make a change/improvement to what ever or who ever you are?

Why are you single?
 
So, why are you single? Is is by choice? Sort of. There have been opportunities that I didn't take. Just didn't seem ...right. Is it not by choice? Is there something wrong with your personality? Probably :) Is there something wrong with theirs? Once in awhile, not usually. Is there a medical reason? Nope Is the reason biblical? Well, in that I want it to last, so I want to be sure, it is. Spiritual perhaps? Mental or physical? Nope You you have picky needs? We should all be. Are you somewhere with slim pickings?Not really Is this too personal to ask?Not really Are you scared to ask them out?Scared wouldn't be the right word. I'm not comfortable asking guys out. Are you silently discouraging yourself?Not really, getting married just isn't a priority for me. Do people think you're over confident?Some people do.:) If they only knew.... Are your standards so high you can find them?I'm not actively looking, but I can't imagine any christian not having high standards regarding a husband or wife. Do you even care to make a change/improvement to what ever or who ever you are? Absolutely, but I want the changes to be initiated by God, not a person. I don't want someone to try and turn me into someone I'm not, you know?
 
Jullianna said:
Is it not by choice? Is there something wrong with your personality? Probably :)
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If there is, it has yet to have been seen by me.

As for my own response it'll have to wait til tomorrow since it's late.
 
It's definitely been a choice for me to stay single. The past few months I have wondered though, if singleness will be something I will have to endure for the rest of my life and when I do, I’m not depressingly despairing in any way. I don’t want to look for him and I can't even say that I'm waiting on God for my husband or that I'm even praying for him because I'm not. I don't want to have misleading expectations on a future partner. That to me is just so distracting and wasteful of precious time I could be using to fulfill God's glory for my life. I’m truly just spending this time pursuing God, trying to serve His kingdom, and through it being deeply humbled as He keeps growing me. That’s what I’m doing the rest of my life regardless. And I honestly don't want the feeling of pining for a husband to get me off course. I’m not perfect in any form but my heart is after God alone. He holds it completely. I’ve wavered in weakness, my affections have wandered, but never far. They’ve always remained with my first love, Christ.

Being single is such a blessing for me. I’m not trying to rush ahead of God. I know there’s so much I have to learn and need to become before I’m even ready to consider a marriage, but honestly it’s not about when I think I’m prepared; it’s about God’s sovereign timing and way. I’ve been pursued a lot but it’s never been right and I think that gets discouraging sometimes for me. At times I just long to skip ahead, to be at his side, but that’s so far in the reality of my life. I just know whatever happens, I’m following Jesus. Wherever that takes me.
 
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^^Mostly that. I'm not even sure if I want to get married or not. It's honestly not a big deal to me right now.

Maybe it'll never be a big deal. (I kind of hope that's the case.)
 
Eh...another person in my life forever? Thats terribly restrictive and invasive...
 
I'm thinking that if one perceives a potential spouse as a pair of underwear that's a size or two too small, dodging marriage probably won't be a problem. :D

I really did try to behave. No. No. Seriously! I did! I think Snacker's slipped over to my house and typed this.
 
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Jullianna said:
I'm thinking that if one perceives a potential spouse as a pair of underwear that's a size or two too small, dodging marriage probably won't be a problem. :D

I really did try to behave. No. No. Seriously! I did! I think Snacker's slipped over to my house and typed this.
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Ha ha, fair enough, I just like being able to make my decisions and being responsible to no one but myself, it might be selfish(probably is actually) but I don;t know I would want to give up the freedom I have in a marriage. I mean what wife would be okay with her husband leaving the house at midnight to go other to a friends house and watch movies til 5 am? Or any other myriad of things that would seem odd to do in marriage
 
Searching4Truth said:
So, why are you single? Is is by choice? -Uh not exactly. Is it not by choice? Yeah, it was forced upon me.Is there something wrong with your personality?Probably, we all have flaws. Is there something wrong with theirs?Oh don't get me started. Yes, there was, but I still loved him all the same, apparently that wasn't enough. Is there a medical reason? Um, well I do have a medical condition, which is well controlled and for the most part doesnt affect my life in the slightest, but he tried to use that as a reason - apparently he was 'babysitting' me. Is the reason biblical? Yes Spiritual perhaps?Yes Mental or physical? Yes You you have picky needs? Sure, don't we all. If you don't you should have. I overlooked some of mine and entered a relationship with someone who didnt meet those needs...and look what happened. Are you somewhere with slim pickings? no. Is this too personal to ask?no Are you scared to ask them out? Not scared, I just wouldn't feel right doing the asking.. call me old fashioned.. I want him to woo me. Are you silently discouraging yourself? Well yes and no I suppose. Yes because I know that even if I wanted another realtionship, I can't consider it right now, and no, because I dont want to live the rest of my life with jaded opinions about men, because of one bad experience. Do people think you're over confident? I'm not sure, I don't think so. Are your standards so high you can find them? Before this happened to me, they werent high enough.. now they've become much higher.Do you even care to make a change/improvement to what ever or who ever you are? Absolutely. God has used this situation to help me grow as a person. I have learnt so much and am excited about what lies ahead. Pain can sometimes be the biggest shaper of who we have grown to become

Why are you single?
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Blessings :)
 
Haha oh my I did that wrong. I altered the OP's quote with my answer. Sorry, can't be bothered changing it.. it's 6.30am :P
 
Nautilus said:
Ha ha, fair enough, I just like being able to make my decisions and being responsible to no one but myself, it might be selfish(probably is actually) but I don;t know I would want to give up the freedom I have in a marriage. I mean what wife would be okay with her husband leaving the house at midnight to go other to a friends house and watch movies til 5 am? Or any other myriad of things that would seem odd to do in marriage
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The fact is, friend, that your decisions affect those around you. It is good that you want to take responsibility for everything you do. Marriage isn't about the loss of freedom. It is symbolic for the love Christ has for His church. Marriage does not restrict someone or take away their liberties. Yes, people may not leave the house at midnight to watch a movie with a buddy, but it is because of a choice.

Some people do choose to remain single, but it isn't because they want more liberties, it is because they feel they are meant to represent God's love in a different way.
 
Perk said:
The fact is, friend, that your decisions affect those around you. It is good that you want to take responsibility for everything you do. Marriage isn't about the loss of freedom. It is symbolic for the love Christ has for His church. Marriage does not restrict someone or take away their liberties. Yes, people may not leave the house at midnight to watch a movie with a buddy, but it is because of a choice.

Some people do choose to remain single, but it isn't because they want more liberties, it is because they feel they are meant to represent God's love in a different way.
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I guess Im not really understanding your post...is this an argument for marriage? Or just saying staying single is wrong?
 
Jullianna said:
I'm thinking that if one perceives a potential spouse as a pair of underwear that's a size or two too small, dodging marriage probably won't be a problem. :D

I really did try to behave. No. No. Seriously! I did! I think Snacker's slipped over to my house and typed this.
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'Depends' on what you call misbehaving, julieannie :D
 
Nautilus said:
Ha ha, fair enough, I just like being able to make my decisions and being responsible to no one but myself, it might be selfish(probably is actually) but I don;t know I would want to give up the freedom I have in a marriage. I mean what wife would be okay with her husband leaving the house at midnight to go other to a friends house and watch movies til 5 am? Or any other myriad of things that would seem odd to do in marriage
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All kidding aside, it is important to be honest with yourself about it, as you are. :)
 
So, why are you single? See below

Is is by choice? Is it not by choice? Yes it is by choice. I would like to be ready before I jump in.
Is there something wrong with your personality? Lately i've noticed I can be quite impatient with people.
Is there something wrong with theirs? Honestly I haven't been all too interested in anyone
Is there a medical reason? I like to drive fast?
Is the reason biblical? Spiritual perhaps? Yeah, GOD's in charge, I am not.
Mental or physical? Yeah, girls don't like tall guys. :p
You you have picky needs? No I don't, pretty standard I think
Are you somewhere with slim pickings? Actually yes, but that's not the reason I'm single.
Is this too personal to ask? If it was I wouldn't be replying
Are you scared to ask them out? Ive never asked anyone out...never really wanted to either, so IDK.
Are you silently discouraging yourself? Not discouraging myself, just not ready
Do people think you're over confident? I hope not, and I honestly don't think so.
Are your standards so high you can find them? I don't think I have standards....GOD knows who is best for me. :)
Do you even care to make a change/improvement to what ever or who ever you are? Absolutely!!! GOD keeps showing me things that need to be worked on. HE is quite faithful at that. :)

Why are you single? Honestly, I'm not ready to marry...see above. :)
 
Why are you single?

I really don't know. The right guy hasn't come my way yet I guess. I attend a Christian University, but 90% of them are 4-7 years younger than me, so there is slim pickings. Maybe my age intimidates them because of the large gap of life experience? Sometimes I feel that I don't belong because of how old I am in comparison. Ugh, this question is depressing lol
 
So, why are you single? Is it by choice? Is it not by choice? Yes, it is by choice for me. I am in no rush.

Is there something wrong with your personality? Definitely. :)

Is there something wrong with theirs? Probably...we are all sinners saved by grace, after all.

Is there a medical reason? Not that I'm aware of...though I'm sure if I went to a psychologist or a psychiatrist they'd say that there is one.

Is the reason biblical? Hmmmm...well, the Bible says that it's a good thing to marry and a better thing to remain single, though I don't use that as my reason, but there you go.

Spiritual perhaps? Definitely. I am content completely to wait on God and His plan for my life, regardless if that means marriage or being celebate and single forever...I pray for the second life but I will willingly surrender to marriage if that is what God wants for me...but I'm praying not. :)

Mental or physical? Definitely. There are reasons besides the obvious that give me serious pause in this area...I won't go into those here...

You have picky needs? I am EXTREMELY picky, but seeing as I am a princess and a valuable treasure, I believe I can be picky. :)

Are you somewhere with slim pickings? Always have been...back when I was a teenager, it bothered me, now it doesn't. :)

Is this too personal to ask? Probably, but I'm answering anyway. :)

Are you scared to ask them out? Personally, I don't believe women should ask men out and I absolutely refuse to do so. This is not out of fear but out of the firm understanding that I am the daughter of the King and I will not chase after anyone but Jesus.

Are you silently discouraging yourself? Nope...I loudly discourage myself. :) Love, love, love being single.

Do people think you're over confident? I have my moments but not in this area.

Are your standards so high you can't find them? My standards are extemely high. I am not looking, so that's possibly why I won't 'find' a husband. But this is something God and I have discussed. As the DC Talk song says, "God will bring her to me so I don't have to search." Yup. If God wants me married, no power on earth can stop Him from bringing my husband and I together...except, of course, my own stubborn free will...or his. :)

Do you even care to make a change/improvement to what ever or who ever you are? Of course. I strive daily to be more like Christ and to change from glory to glory. I am brutally honest regarding who I am...I hold no false beliefs...and I know I'm a work in progress saved by grace. :)

Why are you single? First, because I love being single and secondly, and more importantly, because God has me this way for this time according to His will and plan for my life.
 
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GASP!! I'm so sorry! I answered these questions way too soon. How embarrassing. :o

A guy told me yesterday that "virtuous women" do not have a sense of humor. :eek: Imagine my surprise! :eek: This is obviously the reason I'm still single. :)
 
arwen7 said:
Why are you single?

I really don't know. The right guy hasn't come my way yet I guess. I attend a Christian University, but 90% of them are 4-7 years younger than me, so there is slim pickings. Maybe my age intimidates them because of the large gap of life experience? Sometimes I feel that I don't belong because of how old I am in comparison. Ugh, this question is depressing lol
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Depressing and odd. You'd figure the guys would go for an older lady who was in a relatively similar stage of life. In other words, you would be less likely to say you enjoy a date with a man then never speak with him again.

All that said, my girlfriend is a mature 20.
 
Jullianna said:
GASP!! I'm so sorry! I answered these questions way too soon. How embarrassing. :o

A guy told me yesterday that "virtuous women" do not have a sense of humor. :eek: Imagine my surprise! :eek: This is obviously the reason I'm still single. :)
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What is with that myth?

They say the same about everyone with a sense of humor. I spend an hour with someone slinging barbs and making odd comparisons and all of the sudden the question comes.

"Dude, you said you are a Christian! Isn't this against your religion."

To which I say.

"Being a Christian is not the same as being a part of the Taliban."
 
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