I think a good way to sum it up is that if you don’t like to be around yourself exclusively then nobody else will probably like to be around you exclusively either. Some people are just negative. They need someone to constantly pick them up. Whether they are single or married, they just find a reason to be miserable. It’s these people who cause marriages to be cumbersome. The funny thing is they are the people most likely to be good girlfriends and boyfriends, quick to connect. Marriage I’m sure can be a wonderful union when it’s two walking side by side not one carrying the other. It’s not exclusively the woman or the man either. Kudos to your mom for being such a trooper though. People like her enjoy work because it generally provides more return on investment, paid both financially and emotionally.
Working on our singleness
- Thread starter cinder
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
I hate to be a Debbie Downer here, and I think this is a fabulous idea for a topic, but after thinking about it I honestly have to say that I don't think Christians are ever supposed to embrace their singleness (even though Paul says its a gift). What I mean is that God created us with a natural desire to procreate. He designed us to feel like we're lacking something if we don't have a partner to love. And if someone doesn't feel that way, it's either because of a bad experience or they're just too interested in other things in life (it's not a feeling they were born with)...
God said in Genesis to "go forth and multiply" and, "It's not good for (a) man to be alone".
Wise advice from Philippians 4:11
"I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances".
If we all did this we'd be...well...more content in our circumstance.
"I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances".
If we all did this we'd be...well...more content in our circumstance.
Well I sure tried hard to phrase things in such a way that it didn't come across as any sort of singleness is better than marriage or you shouldn't care if you're married or not. But at the end of the day (and this being 2020 for a lot of us end of the decade as well) many of us are living single lives now and we want to live those single lives in a godly way. Mostly this was meant to be an opportunity for us to dream collectively (and me to pick other people's brains) about what we specifically as Christian singles have to give and offer beyond just being the marginalized unmarried fringe folk of the kingdom that it's too easy to feel like we often are.
We'll all be more than happy for you (or any of the guys here) if and when you find that special girl you want to marry, but we aren't content to wait until she comes along to see you blessed and happy because we know there are so many more avenues that blessing and happiness can come through. Your compassion and kindness to many on this forum when they were down or going through a hard time being just one of those avenues.
I didn't say don't try to enjoy it. I said we shouldn't embrace it. I of all people know that we have to do our best to enjoy the life we are living as best we can. What I meant was that we shouldn't be repressing our desire to find love.
I do the garbage thing too as well as the dishes, getting the mail and grocery shopping, etc. I do this on a regular consistent basis without being told except the for the grocery shopping where my wife briefs me on the shopping list.
These tasks along with others requires discipline to accomplish whether you feel like it or not.
I believe that you are on the right track in stepping up your game regardless of whether or not you might have a wife one day. One's old self can quickly become cloying and annoying in a relationship. I might just up my game too.
No excuse for crumbs on the counter either. My old self would simply just brush them off to the floor. My new self would then sweep the crumbs off the floor. I don't drink OJ or milk straight from the container anymore either. Don't ever do that 'cause it will not be well for you if your wife sees you doing that.
It is indeed a lot of work but maintaining a happy marriage is very satisfying, even more so than to just simply try to always please yourself. After my divorce I was single for years. What was drudgery for me was doing basically the same thing each day, alone, by myself. It was not very rewarding that's for sure. Striving for a successful and happy marriage is very much a worthy endeavor. It is a lot of work but is well worth the cost of admission.
Well Debbie, a couple of observations. When born again we are a new creation. We are called to be spiritually minded and not carnally driven. Second, God said that to two people in paradise, before the fall of man. God told Abraham to sacrifice his son. Clearly this wasn’t said to us either, even though once they hit adolescence this may feel natural too.
Wise and appropriate counsel for this thread and for all of life's circumstances.Wise advice from Philippians 4:11
"I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances".
If we all did this we'd be...well...more content in our circumstance.
I saw no problem with the title either, and was simply responding to what was said in part of the OP (which I isolated to quote)
I never thought of myself as working on my singleness while single... though I have ventured into a wide range of territory exploring ways to enhance my experience of life 
nobodys repressing a desire to find love, its just christian single people ALREADY have found the greatest love there is, so marriage is really unnecessary.
A lot of people just dont know what Jesus was talking about, and assumed they had to get married to find it.
A lot of people just dont know what Jesus was talking about, and assumed they had to get married to find it.
You don't believe that a "love ' for your father and a "love" for your partner are two different kinds
of love? I know that a lot of you will disagree with me but I think the more you "work" on your single-ness.
You become more set in your way's and become less tolerant of other's.
I do think that married people get set in their ways and when they become single it is harder for them to adjust. its harder for them then the other way around I would think. Thats why when so many married people divorce they desperstely want to marry again, even when its not healthy for them....not rrally logical, but its what people are familiar with.
M
MegMarch
Guest
God has provided purposeful and intentional ways for me to grow during my singleness. He has helped me to break old, negative habits and develop new, healthy ones. This has benefited my quality of life as a single and would do the same if I were to get married.
There are medical studies that suggest that those that are married tend to live longer than those that are not married. Maybe it just seems longer (just kidding
)
M
MegMarch
Guest
All married men should acknowledge that their wives help their longevity.There are medical studies that suggest that those that are married tend to live longer than those that are not married. Maybe it just seems longer (just kidding
K
Kim82
Guest
This is something I've thought about as well. And I feel that ultimately God is the one who takes care of us and not a spouse or anyone else.
Whenever such thoughts come to me, I think of the story of the good Samaritan who helped the stranger along the road who was in need.
I trust that God will either give me the ability to help myself or send a good Samaritan.
And if that is not His will, then He will call me home. That is my prayer, that he'll take care of me some way, some how.
K
Kim82
Guest
Well if anyone thinks marriage will make them happy, they are wrong. Because there is nothing and none in this world that can make people truly happy except our relationship with God. If God is not at the center then everything will go horrible wrong.
So we need to put Him first. And if we get married its a good thing.
Just because some are unhappy in marriage. It doesn't mean it is or will be like that for everyone.
That's funny. I guess I came "pre-trained" I guess they have a word for it now. (O.C.D.). My house, or I guess my Apt. back then always had to be clean so when i got off work I could relax. And I certainly could'nt wake up to a mess! Lol. I had a routine, For thirty years of my life I did the laundry and Ironed my own shirts. Not that my partner or wife did'nt offer but because I Ironed better than thee dry cleaner's. Lol...
But that drinking out of the jug thing. That's one terrible habit my daughter picked up! ...