Would you marry you?
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Great question.
I used to ask a similar question and it was 'if you had a daughter, would you give your daughter to someone like me?' and my answer was 'dude, I don't think so - don't even think about it.' Soon enough the question evolved into whether God would give one of His daughters to me. Then it dawned on me that not only God has to look at my side of story as a loving Dad (Dad, when are you bringing her?), but He has to also make sure that His daughter, whom He loves equally if not more, will be happy with me as well.
Conclusion: Son, you ain't ready yet (or could it be I'm ready but 'she' isn't? If so and you are her, get it together!)
I used to ask a similar question and it was 'if you had a daughter, would you give your daughter to someone like me?' and my answer was 'dude, I don't think so - don't even think about it.' Soon enough the question evolved into whether God would give one of His daughters to me. Then it dawned on me that not only God has to look at my side of story as a loving Dad (Dad, when are you bringing her?), but He has to also make sure that His daughter, whom He loves equally if not more, will be happy with me as well.
Conclusion: Son, you ain't ready yet (or could it be I'm ready but 'she' isn't? If so and you are her, get it together!)
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Hi Artsie,
Interesting thread!
My first reaction to this was "No! Absolutely not! "
I was thinking of all the things wrong with me that need work. But as you said, that is a lot of self criticism. So I started thinking about the other side of things.
I have 5 young people that love me and are usually excited to see me when I get home from work.
I've got a job and have worked at the same company for 18 years. I have skills and abilities. Like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills...
I am working on my faults that I am aware of, I do want to grow and become a more godly person.
I find it interesting that we are told to love others as ourselves, not love others and hate ourselves.
Husbands are to love their wives like they love their own bodies.
So after thinking about this today...I would say..."No! Absolutely not!" I am not a selfish person, at all. 🤣
That would be greedy to keep me all to myself. I'd like to share me with someone who shares the same values and has other skills than me.
Thanks for the thread.
Interesting thread!
My first reaction to this was "No! Absolutely not! "
I was thinking of all the things wrong with me that need work. But as you said, that is a lot of self criticism. So I started thinking about the other side of things.
I have 5 young people that love me and are usually excited to see me when I get home from work.
I've got a job and have worked at the same company for 18 years. I have skills and abilities. Like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills...
I am working on my faults that I am aware of, I do want to grow and become a more godly person.
I find it interesting that we are told to love others as ourselves, not love others and hate ourselves.
Husbands are to love their wives like they love their own bodies.
So after thinking about this today...I would say..."No! Absolutely not!" I am not a selfish person, at all. 🤣
That would be greedy to keep me all to myself. I'd like to share me with someone who shares the same values and has other skills than me.
Thanks for the thread.
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Awesome, have had lots of opportunity for self reflection over these past (almost) three years. Has been a long process with a lot more to process and learn along my journey... While acknowledging my faults, limitations, and weaknesses; I've strived to try to focus upon becoming the best version of myself possible with the hope of becoming whole/complete and to learn my own self worth and to realize what I have - that I can give - to contribute to a relationship...
Am I perfect - no, buy no means. Do I have a couple few bad habits - well yes (I sometimes forget to fold my laundry, socks tend to be out and about, I might be a pack rat of old papers, I'm a recovering workoholic; and working on managing my work stress with tremendous success (the bureaucratic bully was fired - yea!) etc). I've been accused of being too nice and even too forgiving...
I've learned that I have a lot of love, compassion and selfless acts of kindness to give in a relationship - so it would be an amazing blessing (I think) to meet my female doppleganger equivalent (oh no, would I have to look like myself in this scenario - cuz that would be kinda weird ew that's my sister).
So, if I were to meet someone that could understand and empathize when I am down, remind me to pick up after myself, and throw away out dated paperwork; recognize and help me to decompress when I need to reduce unwarranted stress; someone to be my partner - whose got my back and vise versa - with a never quit - never surrender positive energy and mindset...
Yes... now where might a guy find such a gal?
Am I perfect - no, buy no means. Do I have a couple few bad habits - well yes (I sometimes forget to fold my laundry, socks tend to be out and about, I might be a pack rat of old papers, I'm a recovering workoholic; and working on managing my work stress with tremendous success (the bureaucratic bully was fired - yea!) etc). I've been accused of being too nice and even too forgiving...
I've learned that I have a lot of love, compassion and selfless acts of kindness to give in a relationship - so it would be an amazing blessing (I think) to meet my female doppleganger equivalent (oh no, would I have to look like myself in this scenario - cuz that would be kinda weird ew that's my sister).
So, if I were to meet someone that could understand and empathize when I am down, remind me to pick up after myself, and throw away out dated paperwork; recognize and help me to decompress when I need to reduce unwarranted stress; someone to be my partner - whose got my back and vise versa - with a never quit - never surrender positive energy and mindset...
Yes... now where might a guy find such a gal?
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I think I would have to be willing to take my time, get to know me, really listen and see if I am compatible with me. Oh sure, in the short term it seems perfect, but rushing it could be a definite red flag. I would need to see evidence of a real commitment to love in action rather than just words. I know I can be pretty hard on myself and that has to be tempered with mercy and compassion. I would need to show some flexibility if it was going to work in the long run. I think I have a lot of potential but if it is meant to be then there is no need to rush. 
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I'm turning 55 this month and though I am at a different place than in my 20s, I think the possibility of being in a loving relationship makes sense. I think if someone is will to be caring, curious about others, has humour and intelligence and is willing to be emotionally flexible, age is not the issue. The desire for companionship is still there. You have years of learning how to be your best self. You have years of knowing how to be a friend, and how to treat people the way you want to be treated. You have had time to learn your own weaknesses and how to own them. No matter your age, there are others who are the same age and are still open to life. If it is a call of your heart, then do not be afraid. It is possible. God is good.
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I cant recall any marriages hapoening in the retirement villages I worked in where there were heaps of widows. Just the one with one of the staff who didnt live there, but she invited everyone to her wedding. I dont think it was a marriage to one of the residents though. People said it was her second one as shed been divorced.
It would be intresting to find out if theres many marriages for over 65s. I mean is age a thing, is there an age you cant marry? Most people seem to think you need to do it becore 30 or you never do it. Or in some circles as soon as you leave school cos some people think adulthood is just too hard without being married.
It would be intresting to find out if theres many marriages for over 65s. I mean is age a thing, is there an age you cant marry? Most people seem to think you need to do it becore 30 or you never do it. Or in some circles as soon as you leave school cos some people think adulthood is just too hard without being married.
K
Would I marry myself? I'll get back to you on that one (actually I won't).
Not necessarily. What is required is someone who understands your issues. Having someone with the same issues may make things worst.
Good point. I tend to be uncomfortable around people, if my spouse is the same, I would understand sure, but could I help him be more confident around others? Nope. And can he help me? Nope.
On the other hand if my spouse is full of confidence, he would certainly be a great example for me (provided I'm not uncomfortable around him as well).
What is that?
Not necessarily. What is required is someone who understands your issues. Having someone with the same issues may make things worst.
Good point. I tend to be uncomfortable around people, if my spouse is the same, I would understand sure, but could I help him be more confident around others? Nope. And can he help me? Nope.
On the other hand if my spouse is full of confidence, he would certainly be a great example for me (provided I'm not uncomfortable around him as well).
What is that?
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