Would you wait for love?

[LightningClap0002]

Uh, just off the top of my head.

They live 10000 miles apart and he makes minimum wage, or less.
She has been in an accident and has slipped into a coma.
He had already made a previous commitment (ie military sevice).
...

I'm sure there are many others if I were to spend time thinking about it. But it was posed as a hypothetical, so I'm not sure that it matters.

 

[BarlyGurl]

Uh, just off the top of my head.

They live 10000 miles apart and he makes minimum wage, or less.
She has been in an accident and has slipped into a coma.
...

I'm sure there are many others if I were to spend time thinking about it. But it was posed as a hypothetical, so I'm not sure that it matters.

Thank you Lightning. I consider this a HIGHLY valuable discussion or I wouldn't bother. I appreciate your participation but if you consider the topic merely for entertainment... I don't mind if you decide to bow out. I am going to use your example for further discussion though... thanks.
1) nowhere in the bible does "wage" enter into a preventative for being married... a low wage earner may have trouble getting woman to consent to those terms... thus she is UNAVALABLE. Further the distance is a small consequence n the modern age and since they have "dated" they have known each other prior to the distance becoming an issue... why not marry before the parting?
2)WHile it is highly romantic in notion... again why would a person commit to a non-committment? Comatose person is not able to consent to waiting and is unavailable?

 

[LightningClap0002]

1) Moving isn't free. Those I know making minimum wage literally take years to accumulate enough money for a 1000 purchase, let alone a ticket and the means to cross 10000 miles to even get to the girl.

2) Isn't that the point of the thread. Love. Would YOU wait because of love? Or not?

For more I think you'll just have to wait for flight, I can't say for sure what he intended.

 

[BarlyGurl]

Barly:
It was in direct response to your words I put in bold when I quoted you. I don't entertain the "man keeping a fish on the hook" thing. That was way off base, and not even close to who I am or what I believe.

Also, what Lightning said is what I took from the OP too.

It's okay NiceGuy... I did not intend to be hurling accusations at all... simply asking more information. Would you be willng to share what "waiting on God" is expected to look like to you... for the audience?

 

[BarlyGurl]

2) Isn't that the point of the thread. Love. Would YOU wait because of love? Or not?

I am not sure... as OP pointed to "being perfect for me". I think a LOVE requires defining here , because men and women where created with different operational functions in marital relationships and both sexes do function differently in "love" formation. There is the emotional declaration of love, which is not very reliable. And there is the operational love where we override self for the sake of other. And there are love actions which can be demonstrated without any inclination for commitment... so what "LOVE" is the being talked about here? Women... are told to respect our husband... because we have the capacity to 'fall in love" without respecting Him and that is not the defining realtionship factor God tells women to have for a man. Men are told to "LOVE" in a sacrificial "other-centered way" so that a woman who sees she respects him can consent to receive his love. I might not be presenting this perfectly, but surely Lightning, you have encountered a woman who attempted to LURE you with "love acts" but demonstrated no respect for you?

 

[niceguyJ]

It's okay NiceGuy... I did not intend to be hurling accusations at all... simply asking more information. Would you be willng to share what "waiting on God" is expected to look like to you... for the audience?

I've just been taking the thread as a huge hypothetical.

If you want something solid and factual, this is me:
I've never been married. I've never even been a dater. I wouldn't marry anyone unless I knew God approved of said person. I'd have to be good friends with the person first to even seriously consider more. I'm just living my life as best I can. I don't think of myself as sitting in a waiting room. Life is happening right now.
If some crazy scenario presents itself in the future, I'll deal with it when it gets here..with God's help.

Anything beyond that is really just thinking and speculation. I think I've speculated about as much as I care to on this thread now, so I'll bow out...probably.

 

[zeroturbulence]

So Zero and Niceguy... doesn't your bibles read..."men love your wives as Christ loves the Church and gave His life up for her????" It kinda sounds like you are entertaining this "man have a fish on the hook indefinately" scenario which benefits the man??? How does woman on hook benefit from protection provision and the self sacrificing love on Christ in this scenario???? A man in prison has already done SOMETHING in act of opposition to the fulfilling of a marriage covenant no wise Christian woman would wait.

Here's me reading that post...

And don't bother trying to explain it further because I'm staying as far as I can from this thread.

 

[Nautilus]

This thread has just turned into a mess. Itwas a nice hypothetical/possibly realistic question. And instead its been broken down into semantics, ifs, ands, buts, and over analyzations...what a waste.

 

[BarlyGurl]

I've just been taking the thread as a huge hypothetical.

If you want something solid and factual, this is me:
I've never been married. I've never even been a dater. I wouldn't marry anyone unless I knew God approved of said person. I'd have to be good friends with the person first to even seriously consider more. I'm just living my life as best I can. I don't think of myself as sitting in a waiting room. Life is happening right now.
If some crazy scenario presents itself in the future, I'll deal with it when it gets here..with God's help.

Anything beyond that is really just thinking and speculation. I think I've speculated about as much as I care to on this thread now, so I'll bow out...probably.

Thanks NiceGuy For your participation.
It seemed to me that there is a multitude of single people "hoping for and waiting for" a mate... that maybe trying to move beyond superficial romanticized speculations might be a good way to encourage discussing the process of making that happen... outside of the "crazy scenario" from the OP.
Reading follow posts.. obviously I was mistaken there...I didn't realize superficiality was so dear here...oops.

 

[Nautilus]

Thanks NiceGuy For your participation.
It seemed to me that there is a multitude of single people "hoping for and waiting for" a mate... that maybe trying to move beyond superficial romanticized speculations might be a good way to encourage discussing the process of making that happen... outside of the "crazy scenario" from the OP.
Reading follow posts.. obviously I was mistaken there...I didn't realize superficiality was so dear here...oops.

Superficiality isnt, but neither is pointless dismissal. Sadly, the posts you decry added a lot more to the OP's original point then yours did. Sorry youre so wrapped up in yourself that you cant possibly imagining having to suffer through waiting on someone...

 

[BarlyGurl]

Superficiality isnt, but neither is pointless dismissal. Sadly, the posts you decry added a lot more to the OP's original point then yours did. Sorry youre so wrapped up in yourself that you cant possibly imagining having to suffer through waiting on someone...

Who's wrapped up in themself???

 

[Indubitably]

Everyone who is sincerely interested in this topic.. I can tell you from experience.

We first met October 18, 2008. She liived 2,281 miles away. We fell in love and both knew we were not only perfect fo each other, but that God had put us together. Family issues, health issues and more interference from Satan himself than even believable, kept us apart. However, early on we made a covenant with each other, before God. We belonged to each other by covenant (vow). We would wait on each other.

More than three years into this phone, but no see relationship, I had a disabling medical event. I was hospiatlized for three months. Because my love was in a different country, the hospital would not cooperate with me in contacting her. My situation worsened and I could not longer walk. I was transferred to a rehab facility long term to try to learn to walk again. Again.. free phone usage anywhere in the US only. I was without my computer, cellphone and had just buried the last of my family. It was like a return to the dark ages. The months passed and we had no communication. She believed I had walked away from her. She emailed me everyday, over and over. After six months, she gave up hope.

I was released in a wheelchair, still unstable and unable to walk. In her unbelievable hurt, she sent one last email asking me why. I got it and we got in contact again and she had a boyfriend. God gave me the grace to treat her with love and understanding. I did not pressure her. She called me recently and said, "I want to come home." We talked for 16 hours that day and God brought everything in us to a beautiful forgiveness and re-commitment!

We had talked for 3 1/2 years of our dreams for ministry helping hurting people. God started that dream ministry through someone else. He handed it over to me on November 30, 2012. We've expanded it to include all our dream ministries. In less than 30 days she will join me here. We will be married and begin working as ministry partners in a ministry that only a miracle of God could have put together.

Waiting for the right love is worth every minute. Praise God for His faithfulness! Four weeks ago, in faith, I stood from the wheelchair and walked. I now walk normally. God gave us two huge miraces at the same time. He knows what he wants for us. We have learned to Submit, Submit, Submit!

 

[Grace52]

I'm waiting. But, the one i'm waiting for doesnt know i'm waiting. (it is kind of predictable how certain circumstances are going to end) Someone who would have to treat me better than the one i'm waiting fo,r would be the only reason i stopped waiting, until then I will continue to serve the Lord. But, I've stopped looking, too many men, other than the one i am waiting for, have let me know i am less than desireable.

 

[Jullianna]

What an amazing story, Indubitably! Thank you for sharing. It's a very encouraging post and I wish you and your bride-to-be every happiness!

 

[Crossfire]

Well let's see.... I've waited the first 41 years of my life, what's a few more? Besides, I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than stuck in a dead end marriage to someone who only thinks of themself so I guess waiting is the option I have. *lol*

 

[Snackersmom]

Indubitably: That's really cool, and I'm very happy for you and your bride-to-be!

*tiptoes back out of the highly hypothetical thread*

 

[Bridget_Left_China]

I cannot imagine waiting 5 more years to be with whomever my future husband is. I have never enjoyed the idea of a long courtship or engagement. I am perfectly willing to wait long enough to discover if we are able to be good partners, but how long should that actually take? Some people date the same person for years and years and still don't know if they are the right person. I am dumbfounded by this! I think that if after 6 months you still don't know, or are confused, then quite possibly you should move on. But then again, some people are "Microwaves", and others are "Ovens". I am definitely a microwave in that I fall fast and hard, (possibly to my detriment, at times). Others are ovens that take a long period of time to warm up to another person. I think I just chased a rabbit trail... Sorry if this is too off-topic!

 

[Chrissy77]

Those are interesting questions to ponder.


Then the question comes in, how would you know you would definitely be together after that waiting period? Is it something you believed you heard from God? Do you make some sort of commitment to the person to come together after that time?

This is my question exactly!!! How DO you know??

 

[Chrissy77]

Waiting for the right love is worth every minute. Praise God for His faithfulness! Four weeks ago, in faith, I stood from the wheelchair and walked. I now walk normally. God gave us two huge miraces at the same time. He knows what he wants for us. We have learned to Submit, Submit, Submit!

That is wonderful!! I am glad you held steadfast in God and have his blessings as a result.

 

[Liamson]

I believe that some people are worth waiting for and some people are not. If people are still in the discovery phase I think that waiting is pointless.

But if you know, even after only a little while, that this person is worth waiting for, worth taking the time to set life up for, then YES.

For some, no amount of dating or courting or being together is going to make the relationship work. If the waiting is intended to get to know someone deeply, some people don't actually have the capacity for depth or the patience to let you get to know them. Some people would rather superficially cling to words like commitment and honor and sacrifice, with no concept of what they really mean. They only repeat what they have heard or do it because the Bible tells them it is what they are suppose to do.

Real, Genuine, Deep, Authentic Love, IS sacrifice, IS commitment, IS honor, IS faithfulness. True Love does not worry itself with meeting these attributes as one meets an obligation to attend children's birthday parties and send Christmas cards. True Love is worth waiting for, worth doing right, worth not rushing and the reward speaks for itself.