G
gods_kid
Guest
March 9, 2015
It's been a long time since I've written anything. It's been a long time since I've written anywhere. I've been overwhelmed, buried, cast aside, drowning. No words seem big enough or good enough to apply to all of this.
This past February 19 made a year since I lost our home. I've been in my mother's house for a year. The first night I was here, I was just devastated, crying, trying to pray, and I told myself that in a year things would be at least somewhat better, in a year I'd be further down the road from all of this, in a year I'd be in the process of fighting my way out of this pit.
I was wrong.
Why, God, are You methodically removing people from my life? Do I not deserve friendship, love, help, support? Am I meant to be alone from now on? I've changed so much, I'm more cynical, distrusting, defensive. But I've had to learn these things to protect myself from being even more hurt.
How do I fight when I don't know what to fight against, God? How good a warrior am I with all these scars and wounds and bruises?
What good is a wounded warrior?
It's been a long time since I've written anything. It's been a long time since I've written anywhere. I've been overwhelmed, buried, cast aside, drowning. No words seem big enough or good enough to apply to all of this.
This past February 19 made a year since I lost our home. I've been in my mother's house for a year. The first night I was here, I was just devastated, crying, trying to pray, and I told myself that in a year things would be at least somewhat better, in a year I'd be further down the road from all of this, in a year I'd be in the process of fighting my way out of this pit.
I was wrong.
Why, God, are You methodically removing people from my life? Do I not deserve friendship, love, help, support? Am I meant to be alone from now on? I've changed so much, I'm more cynical, distrusting, defensive. But I've had to learn these things to protect myself from being even more hurt.
How do I fight when I don't know what to fight against, God? How good a warrior am I with all these scars and wounds and bruises?
What good is a wounded warrior?