Your Primary love language.

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Your primary love language.

  • Physical Touch

    Votes: 8 24.2%

  • Quality Time

    Votes: 15 45.5%

  • Words of Affirmation

    Votes: 6 18.2%

  • Acts of Service

    Votes: 3 9.1%

  • Receiving Gifts

    Votes: 1 3.0%
  • Total voters
    33
Stuey said:
I feel I am changing over time, things seem a little more balanced than last time I did it which is interesting, I still think I show love in different ways though.

You will change over time... there is a continual redefining that SHOULD be occurring in everyone's life...
It's called MATURING. :)
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PopClick said:
Nah, I'm one too, Arwen. I agree that it isn't materialism at all. Usually the "gifts" that mean the most are really small, like an mp3 download or a bagel or something like that. It isn't the gift itself that means something, but it's like having a reminder of the person who gave it to me, and I tend to remember it more than most other acts of kindness.
But I don't seek out gifts, and will tell someone not to give me one, if they mention beforehand that they're planning to.
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I like personal gifts... as in the giver has spent time to get to know me and the "Gift" is something to demonstrate the giver is trying to make an intimate connection with me. I also like the sort of "gift" when the giver is giving something of themselves to me. I am turned off by "gifts" that are disproportionate to the relationship, feel like a bribes or as a score maker for later use... which are all relationship RED FLAGS and deal breakers for me.
 
I think 'qualiity time' is a fit-in of other of love's language's, in other words, it houses touch, receiving gifts, doing service, I gave it a higher score because of that. I don't deal in giving 10 and 9 and 8 and 7 because my belief in God has Him as the maker of my life, the one who both quantifies and qualifies my time, I can do nothing without Him, Scripture says this truth, in so many words, right?

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

Who can we do all things through? Christ.

Who gives us our strength? Christ.


This does go to say if you want to transvolute (is that a word? :D ) the meaning, that we are WEAK and we can do NOTHING without Christ. So, IF I am to have ANY quality time at all, which includes physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, etc. then it will be through Him :)

The Lord leads. We are to let His Spirit lead us, right, when we are born again, we are given His Spirit, Scripture is clear, that although we are given a 'seal of promise' that the Holy Spirit is with us, we are also told that we MUST have Him in us for eternal life with Christ. Read 1 Corinthians if this is unclear.

So, MY quality time is spent with all of those primary love languages given by Him to me to do. I am but a 'pure vessel,' at least, I am supposed to be, Scripture states, and, that is how I want to spend my time, too, with WHATEVER I do, showing His love language primarily, as to giving God the glory.

Very powerful verse: Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Now, that right there pretty much sums up how we are to have quality time in life, doesn't it, or else, the time is not being spent as He pleases and wills and don't we all want to be in the will of God for our life :)
 
10 Quality Time
6 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch
5 Words of Affirmation
4 Receiving Gifts

I could have pretty much told you what mine would be ahead of time. There is nothing like time with the one you love. I know this isn't just about that person, but spending time with the people who most matter to me, means more to me than a present being left on my doorstep every day or someone coming and doing all those hard to do chores for me. Just spend time with me, that is all I want!
 
6 Words of Affirmation
11 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch

I've always known about this, but never taken the test until now. Honestly, I liked both answers on most of the questions. If they'd allowed for dual, I'm sure my scores would be high for all but gifts.

Anyway, I find it interesting that I scored in the most common bracket. That's unusual for me.
 
Chrissy77 said:
10 Quality Time
6 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch
5 Words of Affirmation
4 Receiving Gifts

I could have pretty much told you what mine would be ahead of time. There is nothing like time with the one you love. I know this isn't just about that person, but spending time with the people who most matter to me, means more to me than a present being left on my doorstep every day or someone coming and doing all those hard to do chores for me. Just spend time with me, that is all I want!
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Quality time= spending time with someone you enjoy, boyfriend, girlfriend, family member, oh, wait, NOT a family member :D , we are talking, afterall, about 'love,' exciting and new, come aboard, it's expecting you :)

But, yes, I can see this, Chrissee, indeed, quality time is spent with someone who you have true liking for, in an atrraction sort of way, not just affection.

Hey, attraction vs affection ! Sounds like another thread, doesn't it :D

Yeah, maybe I didn't quite understand the primary love languages (haven't been in love enough, I guess :( ) But, yeah, just because I've never been in a serous real relationship, and, I have not, the Lord leads, or, hmm, He's led me through, anyway, where I've gone, but, yeah, spending quality time with someone you are in love with, that makes sense, so....

IF I was to think a lot about those ones I would be putting 'quality time' even higher, maybe, more like an '8'. I don't think we should be dependent on any one of the 'love' languages, just because it is primary, it still should not be tooo primary. It can be, I'm sure, but, yeah, that's how I see it, and, erring on the side of NOT needing things is better than needing any things, which is materialism, whether we want to think about it or not.

What we REALLY need is God's love? All other love pales in comparison , really pales , should, anyway.
 
Good thread :)

I got:

Quality Time 12
Acts of Service 8
Receiving Gifts 5
Physical Touch 3
Words of Affirmation 2

So in other words, I wanna be the center of ALL your attention!!!!!!! :p
 
Quality Time - 10
Words of Affirmation - 8
Physical Touch - 7
Acts of Service - 5
Receiving Gifts - 0
 
Last edited:
  • Quality Time - 9
  • Acts of Service - 7
  • Words of Affirmation - 7
  • Receiving Gifts - 4
  • Physical Touch - 3
Hmm....weird. Considering how much I like to be by myself I wouldn't have pegged my primary language for being Quality Time. I would have said Acts of Service. However, because the test is administered by asking what IIII would prefer to receive as opposed to how I feel that I best express my love for another person it does maybe skew the results a bit. I think my primary way of showing I love a person is by doing things for them. On the other hand I'm not terribly comfortable with letting a person spend a whole lot of time or effort doing things for ME. It makes me feel loved it makes me feel a little guilty, to be honest. I suppose nothing can ever be straight forward :P
 
meggars said:
  • Quality Time - 9
  • Acts of Service - 7
  • Words of Affirmation - 7
  • Receiving Gifts - 4
  • Physical Touch - 3
Hmm....weird. Considering how much I like to be by myself I wouldn't have pegged my primary language for being Quality Time. I would have said Acts of Service. However, because the test is administered by asking what IIII would prefer to receive as opposed to how I feel that I best express my love for another person it does maybe skew the results a bit. I think my primary way of showing I love a person is by doing things for them. On the other hand I'm not terribly comfortable with letting a person spend a whole lot of time or effort doing things for ME. It makes me feel loved it makes me feel a little guilty, to be honest. I suppose nothing can ever be straight forward :P
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I believe that this "test" is really only about "what makes you feel loved" and not at all about "how you like to express love" (i.e., it is strictly about the "receiving of love") - partially because I know for certain that the ways I like to express love do not match up in the same proportions with the results that I got...

:)

.
 
AsifinPassing said:
Green, my friend, it's not self driven (in a sense). It's more like a nature vs nurture type of argument.

Here's the link to the quiz. Try to answer honestly if you take it, and then you'll know. Just like we all have different personalities, so we express/feel love differently. That's sort of Gary's basis here.

'Short' Video Explaination/Discussion
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Hey, ReecebuddyChristbro, could you publish where that test is for primary love languages, I didn't realize there was an actual test, I'd just guesed what they would be :D Gary Chapman vid,, thx, too :)
()()()()()())()()

who is,saying this was about 'expressing love' by us. i understand it is a thread about what makes us attracted to someone, yes, 'receiving love,' what language best for us makes us fall in love or stay in love. makes perfect sense to me, GRAguy, but, not sure what/who gave you the impression that the OP was speaking of expressing love and not receiving love??

and, juzt to add in, the primary love language of a believer in Christ needs prefaced by a love of Him first :)
 
The lines I wrote in response (above) are links. The one that says "here's the link to the quiz" is the actual publisher's quiz. Just click on it. ^^()
 
I found this to be pretty interesting. I haven't read the book, but I think I might. :)

Quality Time 11
Acts of service 7
Physical Touch 7
Words of Affirmation 4
Receiving gifts 1
 
It seems like a lot of folks here have a problem with gifts. I wonder if that has something to do with introvertedness (there is a higher concentration of introverts on internet forums). A buddy of mine is engaged to a girl who's primary love language is gifts. I personally don't care for receiving or giving gifts. When receiving them I feel kind of awkward, like I don't know what's coming and I'm expecting to be disappointed. When giving them, I stress out about getting the person something they'll actually like, and also not seeming cheap. Sure, they may really like that neat pillow, but if it only costs $5 and I know they're getting me something that's $75, it causes me to stress. I'd just prefer to buy things for myself. Although I did receive a bunch of gifts recently that I got to open without the givers watching me, and that was actually kind of fun.

Okay, so stress story: my family doesn't celebrate Christmas, so when I became a Christian I started getting invited to random houses for Christmas. I went to one guy's (my roommate at the time) house this one Christmas and his family was really...weird. I definitely didn't feel very welcomed in their home, but I tried to make the best of it and dreaded gift-time. But in anticipation of this, I went out and spent a bunch of cash to get nice gifts because these were the only people I'd be getting them for. So when I went to open mine, the guy had gotten me this crappy $2 mug with a completely irrelevant piece of scripture on it. I don't even drink anything that would require a mug so it became my toothbrush cup. His parents had a big gift for me so I was intrigued. I opened it and lo and behold: a toaster. And not just any toaster, but the exact same one I already had. So basically, this was a separate toaster for him to use; it was just disguised as a gift to me. And lastly, they gave me a bag with a box of cereal and some instant oatmeal in it. Now keep in mind, they were a family of means. I wasn't so bummed about getting crap gifts so much as the fact that they didn't really think of me at all. I had to pretend to like the stuff. That was my worst Christmas ever.
 
AAAPlus said:
It seems like a lot of folks here have a problem with gifts. I wonder if that has something to do with introvertedness (there is a higher concentration of introverts on internet forums). A buddy of mine is engaged to a girl who's primary love language is gifts. I personally don't care for receiving or giving gifts. When receiving them I feel kind of awkward, like I don't know what's coming and I'm expecting to be disappointed. When giving them, I stress out about getting the person something they'll actually like, and also not seeming cheap. Sure, they may really like that neat pillow, but if it only costs $5 and I know they're getting me something that's $75, it causes me to stress. I'd just prefer to buy things for myself. Although I did receive a bunch of gifts recently that I got to open without the givers watching me, and that was actually kind of fun.

Okay, so stress story: my family doesn't celebrate Christmas, so when I became a Christian I started getting invited to random houses for Christmas. I went to one guy's (my roommate at the time) house this one Christmas and his family was really...weird. I definitely didn't feel very welcomed in their home, but I tried to make the best of it and dreaded gift-time. But in anticipation of this, I went out and spent a bunch of cash to get nice gifts because these were the only people I'd be getting them for. So when I went to open mine, the guy had gotten me this crappy $2 mug with a completely irrelevant piece of scripture on it. I don't even drink anything that would require a mug so it became my toothbrush cup. His parents had a big gift for me so I was intrigued. I opened it and lo and behold: a toaster. And not just any toaster, but the exact same one I already had. So basically, this was a separate toaster for him to use; it was just disguised as a gift to me. And lastly, they gave me a bag with a box of cereal and some instant oatmeal in it. Now keep in mind, they were a family of means. I wasn't so bummed about getting crap gifts so much as the fact that they didn't really think of me at all. I had to pretend to like the stuff. That was my worst Christmas ever.
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I hate pretending to like things. Im not very good at either. People watching you open things is just to much pressure.
 
AAAPlus said:
It seems like a lot of folks here have a problem with gifts. I wonder if that has something to do with introvertedness (there is a higher concentration of introverts on internet forums). A buddy of mine is engaged to a girl who's primary love language is gifts. I personally don't care for receiving or giving gifts. When receiving them I feel kind of awkward, like I don't know what's coming and I'm expecting to be disappointed. When giving them, I stress out about getting the person something they'll actually like, and also not seeming cheap. Sure, they may really like that neat pillow, but if it only costs $5 and I know they're getting me something that's $75, it causes me to stress. I'd just prefer to buy things for myself. Although I did receive a bunch of gifts recently that I got to open without the givers watching me, and that was actually kind of fun.

Okay, so stress story: my family doesn't celebrate Christmas, so when I became a Christian I started getting invited to random houses for Christmas. I went to one guy's (my roommate at the time) house this one Christmas and his family was really...weird. I definitely didn't feel very welcomed in their home, but I tried to make the best of it and dreaded gift-time. But in anticipation of this, I went out and spent a bunch of cash to get nice gifts because these were the only people I'd be getting them for. So when I went to open mine, the guy had gotten me this crappy $2 mug with a completely irrelevant piece of scripture on it. I don't even drink anything that would require a mug so it became my toothbrush cup. His parents had a big gift for me so I was intrigued. I opened it and lo and behold: a toaster. And not just any toaster, but the exact same one I already had. So basically, this was a separate toaster for him to use; it was just disguised as a gift to me. And lastly, they gave me a bag with a box of cereal and some instant oatmeal in it. Now keep in mind, they were a family of means. I wasn't so bummed about getting crap gifts so much as the fact that they didn't really think of me at all. I had to pretend to like the stuff. That was my worst Christmas ever.
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LOL, that sounds so awkward. I hate having to use my fake ''I love it'' expression.
 
Interesting.... I'm not sure I'm totally convinced on a couple of them.

9 Quality Time ...True! Nothing beats a glass of fine wine and discussing some theology... or watching a movie :)

8 Words of Affirmation :confused:

1 Receiving Gifts ...True! Not sure why, but in my book giving gifts is much more fun than receiving! :cool:

8 Acts of Service ...True! I like using my talents to create/do things for people -especially people whom I know need the help.

4 Physical Touch -This is suspicious as I'm not totally apathetic when it comes to physical touch! ...As long as I'm the one initiating or it's with someone I'm very close w/! :p
 
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