Can a battered wife file for divorce?

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A

Adstar

Senior Member
#41
Jul 24, 2016
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#41
Marcelo said:
Most wife beaters are also adulterers, but there are exceptions. In case the monster is "faithful" what would be the biblical basis for divorce?
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Divorce is required for a person to then go on and marry another..

People can separate at any time without going for a divorce.. So if a husband is bashing his wife then the wife can simply move out.. You can put an end to the physical abuse without the need for divorce..

Then of course if the husband starts another relationship with another woman and is committing Adultery,, well then it is grounds for a Biblical divorce..
 
D

Danoded

Banned
#42
Nov 19, 2017
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#42
dcontroversal said:
Yeah....ok......you remind me of another dude....if he seen his girlfriend being raped he would have prayed....get real.....and get some understanding...serious
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What does more violence solve? Of course, if one is in danger of being beaten, they should seek refuge, but it doesn't mean they should respond with more violence. God would not want such, only satan.
 
T

toinena

Guest
#43
#43
Dino246 said:
I'm glad God is more merciful than I would be if a man were beating my daughter....

Malachi 2:14-16 is talking about treachery in marriage. In verse 16 God says, "I hate divorce, and him who covers his garment with violence." I can't prove it, so I hold it lightly, but I believe this verse is addressing spousal abuse, implying that God hates it as much as He hates divorce.
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I didn't know about that verse, but it sounds like a likely interpretation.

I moved out out from my husband because of his rage and violence. I also needed to do so to protect my son. We were legally separated for over a year. I didn't file for divorce, because I prayed he would stop drinking and repenting his physical and verbal abuse. That didn't happen, but he made another woman pregnant and wanted to marry her, and then he wanted the divorce. Even though the divorce was granted, I didn't manage to go on with my life, and as he divorced me in Finland, I was registered as married in Norway. It took me four years before I made it official here.

Why didn't I want to file for a divorce when I could? I had prayed for him and his salvation and healing, and I guess I was giving God a chance to perform that miracle. It is only the past year I have started to feel truly free to marry again.
 
OneFaith

OneFaith

Senior Member
#44
Sep 5, 2016
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#44
Dino246 said:
I'm glad God is more merciful than I would be if a man were beating my daughter....

Malachi 2:14-16 is talking about treachery in marriage. In verse 16 God says, "I hate divorce, and him who covers his garment with violence." I can't prove it, so I hold it lightly, but I believe this verse is addressing spousal abuse, implying that God hates it as much as He hates divorce.
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This says He hates divorce and... Therefore whatever comes after the ‘and’ is separate from the meaning of divorce. God hates all sin, but not all sins are grounds for divorce. Jesus gave only one exception.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#45
Feb 21, 2014
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#45
Believe me, as someone who has been there and gone through it, the LAST thing that an abused wife or girlfriend is thinking about, is leaving her abuser for another guy. Her ONLY mindset is to get herself and any kids away safely from the monster they live with. In my case, my ex-bf was jealous, possessive and abusive. He would throw things at me, abuse me both verbally and physically and even grab my female parts to inflict pain. In the end, he got me evicted, and when I had found another place and told him he was NOT coming with me, he flipped his gourd and tried to strangle me. :/ He only let go when I grabbed him by the *ahem* and said I was calling the cops. He left and moved on to someone else to abuse..

Adstar said:
Divorce is required for a person to then go on and marry another..

People can separate at any time without going for a divorce.. So if a husband is bashing his wife then the wife can simply move out.. You can put an end to the physical abuse without the need for divorce..

Then of course if the husband starts another relationship with another woman and is committing Adultery,, well then it is grounds for a Biblical divorce..
Click to expand...
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#46
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#46
It's fairly obvious that "and him who cover his garment with violence" means a person who is abusive... God NEVER meant for us to get abused and murdered by our spouses..

OneFaith said:
This says He hates divorce and... Therefore whatever comes after the ‘and’ is separate from the meaning of divorce. God hates all sin, but not all sins are grounds for divorce. Jesus gave only one exception.
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trofimus

trofimus

Senior Member
#47
Aug 17, 2015
10,684
794
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#47
Woohoo, and here comes trofimus with his Septuagint:

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And you said, “Why?”
Because the Lord was a witness between you and between the wife of your youth, whom you abandoned, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant.

And you said, “What else does God seek but offspring?”
Also be vigilant in your spirit, and do not forsake the wife of your youth.
But if you, because you hate her, put her away, says the Lord God of Israel, then ungodliness will cover your thoughts, says the Lord Almighty: therefore be vigilant in your spirit, and do not abandon her.

---

Malachi 2:14-16
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#48
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#48
Unfortunately, that's exactly why some men DO beat their wives or girlfriends. Because they despise her, blame her for everything that goes wrong in their world. Some men take the bible literally when they read "do away with her". :/ And when she tries to leave, that's a blow to their ego, and suddenly they don't have control of her anymore. So, rather than leave her or divorce her, they murder her..


trofimus said:
Woohoo, and here comes trofimus with his Septuagint:

---

And you said, “Why?”
Because the Lord was a witness between you and between the wife of your youth, whom you abandoned, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant.

And you said, “What else does God seek but offspring?”
Also be vigilant in your spirit, and do not forsake the wife of your youth.
But if you, because you hate her, put her away, says the Lord God of Israel, then ungodliness will cover your thoughts, says the Lord Almighty: therefore be vigilant in your spirit, and do not abandon her.

---

Malachi 2:14-16
Click to expand...
 
trofimus

trofimus

Senior Member
#49
Aug 17, 2015
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#49
blue_ladybug said:
Unfortunately, that's exactly why some men DO beat their wives or girlfriends. Because they despise her, blame her for everything that goes wrong in their world. Some men take the bible literally when they read "do away with her". :/ And when she tries to leave, that's a blow to their ego, and suddenly they don't have control of her anymore. So, rather than leave her or divorce her, they murder her..
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Well, such extreme cases like murdering wife etc are so antiChristian, that it probably does not matter what is written in Malachi, such people probably do not care about it at all.
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#50
#50
EarnestQ said:
It is possible but not easy. It would take months to learn how to defend herself from such monsters. Even then he would still have weight and strength on his side. Furthermore, if he found he could not safely beat her anymore, he would probably shoot her or use a baseball bat, etc. He could easily attack her in her sleep. These monsters do not have the concept of fairness. Many will not hesitate to torture and murder if they can't have their way.

It is far more safe and practical to GET AWAY from monsters rather than try to beat them at their own game. Their creativity and capacity for evil cannot be overestimated.
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many wife beaters are also cowards

I said what I did kind of tongue in cheek, but honestly, there are some moves that it does not matter what the other weighs

sometimes a woman just needs to get away. the bigger problem is women not following through after they call the police

'Henry' promises he will 'never do it again' and the wife/girlfriend backs down. if I am not mistaken though, the law has changed in Canada where the police will drag 'Henry' off in handcuffs anyway and there will be a day in court

too many women have died or landed in the hospital

I never said to beat anyone at their own game. I don't know why it is viewed like that.

cowards go after the defenseless. each one should have the snot kicked out of them by a gang of bigger men
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#51
Jul 24, 2016
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#51
blue_ladybug said:
Believe me, as someone who has been there and gone through it, the LAST thing that an abused wife or girlfriend is thinking about, is leaving her abuser for another guy. Her ONLY mindset is to get herself and any kids away safely from the monster they live with. In my case, my ex-bf was jealous, possessive and abusive. He would throw things at me, abuse me both verbally and physically and even grab my female parts to inflict pain. In the end, he got me evicted, and when I had found another place and told him he was NOT coming with me, he flipped his gourd and tried to strangle me. :/ He only let go when I grabbed him by the *ahem* and said I was calling the cops. He left and moved on to someone else to abuse..
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Well i never said that woman in that situation where thinking about leaving their husband for another guy... So i am not sure why you replied to my post with that?

But anyway i have no problem with the points you made in the above post..
 
MichaelOwen

MichaelOwen

Senior Member
#52
Nov 6, 2017
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#52
The best thing to do for an abusive person is to pray them. If you're in a marriage that is abusive, I would pray for the person doing the abusing that God will work on their heart and convict them of that. Marriage is truly a life long commitment you take before God and your family and friends. You're telling the world that I take this man/woman in everything he or she has to offer, whether it be good, or bad, good times, bad times, sickness, and in health. But anyone who abuses their husband or wife, I'm curious as to whether they have accepted Christ into their life or not. I know it's not my place to judge, but the word teaches me to test not only the spirits, but also to test the fruits of other believers. Jesus said, "A good tree cannot give bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot give good fruit." And Paul said in Romans 12 : 2, "Do not be conformed to this world ; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your MIND, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." I have to believe that people who abuse their spouses aren't doing it soley because they want control or power, but because their mind is in an ill form. But Christ transforms the mind, and if you are being abused by your spouse, first and foremost seek God, secondly pray for your spouse to come to know Christ, cause I promise you, if a person be in Christ, he is a new creature, and will not display those kind of mannerisms, verbal or abusive.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#53
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#53
Exactly. Such people, have the satanic spirit on them, and they truly don't care. The ONLY thing that matters to them is controlling their "property" and making sure she doesn't get away.. Pedos, rapists, murderers, etc, are demonically controlled, IMO..

trofimus said:
Well, such extreme cases like murdering wife etc are so antiChristian, that it probably does not matter what is written in Malachi, such people probably do not care about it at all.
Click to expand...
 
L

loveme1

Senior Member
#54
Oct 30, 2011
8,083
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#54
The abused woman or man has mental barriers invisible to others.. they were put there by the abuser.. if you are going to help them you need to stop threatening more violence and help them through those barriers.. the folks will also need food and shelter in most cases..

The person returns because they believe the person loves them and can change their behaviour and will often adjust their own behaviour believing they are at fault.. the abuser will move the goal posts you were never suppose to get a goal .. you were being led to believe you could score but it was all about making you fail so the abuse can be used to control you more.. a viscous circle and this topic is a good one for us all to consider...
 
T

toinena

Guest
#55
#55
MichaelOwen said:
The best thing to do for an abusive person is to pray them. If you're in a marriage that is abusive, I would pray for the person doing the abusing that God will work on their heart and convict them of that. Marriage is truly a life long commitment you take before God and your family and friends. You're telling the world that I take this man/woman in everything he or she has to offer, whether it be good, or bad, good times, bad times, sickness, and in health. But anyone who abuses their husband or wife, I'm curious as to whether they have accepted Christ into their life or not. I know it's not my place to judge, but the word teaches me to test not only the spirits, but also to test the fruits of other believers. Jesus said, "A good tree cannot give bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot give good fruit." And Paul said in Romans 12 : 2, "Do not be conformed to this world ; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your MIND, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." I have to believe that people who abuse their spouses aren't doing it soley because they want control or power, but because their mind is in an ill form. But Christ transforms the mind, and if you are being abused by your spouse, first and foremost seek God, secondly pray for your spouse to come to know Christ, cause I promise you, if a person be in Christ, he is a new creature, and will not display those kind of mannerisms, verbal or abusive.
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Yes. You should pray and forgive your abuser. But you should also protect yourself from the abuse. And that is the first and foremost responsibility of the abused, to get away from the situation. An abused wife can't save her husband. It is only the husband that has the key to repent and to give his life to Jesus. And, let's face it, many are called but few are chosen.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#56
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#56
The part in red is what I was referring to. :) Many married abused women don't even want to bother with divorce until AFTER they are safe and their abuser is locked up. In that time, if they're lucky, they can move away, change their name and never get bothered by their abuser again. I for one absolutely believe that God makes allowance for divorce, in the case of physical abuse and/ or possible murder.

Adstar said:
Divorce is required for a person to then go on and marry another.

People can separate at any time without going for a divorce.. So if a husband is bashing his wife then the wife can simply move out.. You can put an end to the physical abuse without the need for divorce..

Then of course if the husband starts another relationship with another woman and is committing Adultery,, well then it is grounds for a Biblical divorce..
Click to expand...
Adstar said:
Well i never said that woman in that situation where thinking about leaving their husband for another guy... So i am not sure why you replied to my post with that?

But anyway i have no problem with the points you made in the above post..
Click to expand...
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#57
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#57
Abusers very rarely stop abusing their wives, or children or animals.. Once an abuser, always an abuser. It's a vicious cycle that often times repeats itself with each generation..

toinena said:
Yes. You should pray and forgive your abuser. But you should also protect yourself from the abuse. And that is the first and foremost responsibility of the abused, to get away from the situation. An abused wife can't save her husband. It is only the husband that has the key to repent and to give his life to Jesus. And, let's face it, many are called but few are chosen.
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M

Mercy4u

Banned
#58
Nov 12, 2017
203
4
0
#58
Danoded said:
This just gives satan more energy, all this rage and hate. His actions shouldn't be condoned, but that shouldn't mean that he should be treated the way he is treating his wife. We are called to be peacemakers, not warmongers.
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Anyone who is living by the sword. Which means by violence/criminal activity. Shall DIE by the sword.

Matt 26:52

New American Standard Bible
Then Jesus said to him, "Put your sword back into its place; for all those who take up the sword shall perish by the sword.
 
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dcontroversal

dcontroversal

Banned
#59
Dec 12, 2013
46,515
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#59
Danoded said:
What does more violence solve? Of course, if one is in danger of being beaten, they should seek refuge, but it doesn't mean they should respond with more violence. God would not want such, only satan.
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Like I said...get some understanding.....the same God who wrote the NEW also wrote the old........so genius....hypothetical...your sister is being beaten by a bloody violent man....what would you do....play pixy sticks and sing KUM BAYAH.....let me tell you a true story and how sometimes God uses a good old fashioned beat down to change a man....1987 and a guy name Monty was a violent drunk, always liked to fight, keep his girlfriend tuned up etc....always in the bar starting fights......well he duped his girlfriend and had all sorts of new names for her and she and I went out one time....a week later he kicked my best friends door in, got in my face and threaten to put e in the hospital the next day at work....sure enough he jumped me as I got out of the car....I lit into him, and put a god old fashioned butt whippin on him and then chased him into the shop belittling him in front of ALL.......Imagine that.....he quit going to the bar, he quit picking fight and fighting and quit beating his girlfriends, got right, got in church and to this day will not look me in the eye when we pass each other......

A man that beats a woman needs a lesson he will not forget....the type of lesson that changes his behavior.....regardless of your stance...GOD was clear in the O.T....a eye for an eye and tooth for tooth....and I can tell you....automatically attributing tuning a wife beater up to Satan is ignorant......end of story!

Before you quote LOVE your enemies and do GOOD unto your enemies......try context and what is really being said.....
 
dcontroversal

dcontroversal

Banned
#60
Dec 12, 2013
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#60
Mercy4u said:
Anyone who is living by the sword. Which means by violence/criminal activity. Shall DIE by the sword.

Matt 26:52

New American Standard Bible
Then Jesus said to him, "Put your sword back into its place; for all those who take up the sword shall perish by the sword.
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Do you ever use context when you plaster scripture on a page.....?

Tuning a wife beater up is not living by the sword.....nor is it killing a man.....geesh.....shakes head!
 
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