My shield doesn't work

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jennymae

Guest
Yall...please dont come down too harshly on a youngin, we all know being young wasn't that easy, all this bickering aint helping, sometimes our response have to be soft...just sayin...:)
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
I love you like a brother loves his sister -- I would never call you a whore.

I dont think you intended to but I think you hurt and embarrassed Zoii. A quick story if I could.When I was about her age I was about to do a concert at a church while I was traveling. I sang with my family at the time.My sister and I walked into the church and before the pastor said anything he said to me, "Young lady you will not be wearing those earrings tomorrow when you sing,and you need to wash off some of that makeup." I felt judged,I felt like he was saying I was a bad girl and I cried and cried while we drove around.Finally we had to go back to the pastors house to spend the night.He saw my face and immediately was sorry. The problem was he was a new pastor to the church and they were a bunch of old judgmental,holier than thou coots and the pastor was afraid to have them upset.We were the first group to sing in the church for 16 years.We sang and the church people loved it.They asked us back again and again and we sold hundreds of CDs in that church.We went back and wore or earrings and makeup and nothing was said.Why? They were judging by the outward appearance. Once they saw our hearts they accepted the rest of us.So I think you hurt her feelings and embarrassed her.She needs to temper her responses as she is speaking to adults.I dont think you had the intent but she perceived you were saying she is a loose,immodest person. Just my five cents.
 
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PeacefulWarrior

Guest
I think if you have to click a button to ignore people on a Christian forum (which is moderated) -- you probably should not be participating in the forum.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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I think we need to stop replying to zoii and PW and get back to the OP of this thread.. This derail is unnecessary and unfair to Lihle..
 
Apr 8, 2015
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u make comments about my modesty - from a photo os me in the distance, with me deliberately blurred and out of focus...wearing jeans n a tshirt...then u throw the rest of your moral comments at me - I seriously have no respect for what I am hearing here. I am a person that always is kind n gentle n I don't receive this from your moral judgments of me - I know what my father would say about your comments tho and I trust him way more than the attacks here.
 
Feb 7, 2015
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I think if you have to click a button to ignore people on a Christian forum (which is moderated) -- you probably should not be participating in the forum.
Violet is one of my favorite people, but I do have to say that I also find the <IGNORE> button to be a fairly unproductive choice......... except for maybe trolls that haven't been kicked off yet.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
I come from a very traditional community, where there is a way of doing well things. When my husband passed away 2 years ago I had to go throu gh a mourning period for a year (it's traditional). Although I didn't wear black for the whole thing year ( also traditional ) because of religious beliefs and because I wore uniform at work, I still had to cover my head and ware long dresses for the whole year. After the mourning period was over, I was free to dress the way I used to dress before. It's been two years now but I still cover my head and still wear long dresses, I use this as a shield, because for some reason men seem to think that I need a man in my life. Colleagues who were never so friendly now they just too friendly and just men in general are just too friendly for my linking, so the way I dress I dress is my way of saying "not interested" but they don't seem to get the message. I still ware my wedding ring and I don't plan to ever take if off. In my culture that's how married women dress and everyone can tell from the way you dress that you off the market, but why do I still get this unwanted attention even with my shield on? Any advice please?
Getting back to your post and question it all comes down to this...men are going to be interested in you because you are a women.No amount of clothes will hide that.A wedding ring a lot of times only makes men more interested.I had a young man in a store trying to have a conversation with me,clearly hitting on me.I was wearing a sparkling rock,my husband is very sweet and generous,you couldnt miss that rock if you tried.But he was acting a fool just the same.Women are raped in Muslim countries where they wear fabric from head to toe.You cant hide that you are a woman.The only way to rebuff men you dont want bothering you is to straight out say you are not interested in any way and you are devoting your life to God right now and are not interested in marriage at all.Tell them to spread the word to their friends. Words plus actions should get your point across.Not interested,do not even try.
 
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PeacefulWarrior

Guest
Getting back to your post and question it all comes down to this...men are going to be interested in you because you are a women.No amount of clothes will hide that.A wedding ring a lot of times only makes men more interested.I had a young man in a store trying to have a conversation with me,clearly hitting on me.I was wearing a sparkling rock,my husband is very sweet and generous,you couldnt miss that rock if you tried.But he was acting a fool just the same.Women are raped in Muslim countries where they wear fabric from head to toe.You cant hide that you are a woman.The only way to rebuff men you dont want bothering you is to straight out say you are not interested in any way and you are devoting your life to God right now and are not interested in marriage at all.Tell them to spread the word to their friends. Words plus actions should get your point across.Not interested,do not even try.
Yes Lihle, and thank you for sharing and seeking on these forums!

I hope you travel with a pack of friends wherever you go. I pray that God guide and protect you.
 
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VioletReigns

Guest
Violet is one of my favorite people, but I do have to say that I also find the <IGNORE> button to be a fairly unproductive choice......... except for maybe trolls that haven't been kicked off yet.
And I would certainly agree with you, Willie. The only time I use it is when I am directed to by the Mods. I'm just following the rules. :)
 
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Galahad

Guest
Violet is one of my favorite people, but I do have to say that I also find the <IGNORE> button to be a fairly unproductive choice......... except for maybe trolls that haven't been kicked off yet.
I think I'm on numerous ignore lists. I know atwhatcost has me on her list. She said so. I've only put one person on my ignore list. That was a female. First she posted inappropriate statements on a thread. Then she sent me an email that was inappropriate. So I put her on ignore.

I don't want to be on atwhatcost's ignore list. But I'm stuck from it.

Since I am on an ignore list, does that make me an ignoramus?
:eek:
 
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PeacefulWarrior

Guest
And I would certainly agree with you, Willie. The only time I use it is when I am directed to by the Mods. I'm just following the rules. :)
Previously...

I actually have him on ignore for my own personal reasons so I can't see all of what he said. I only see the result of what he said.
Violet was the one who asked why I did not PM the young lady, and now she's going on and on about how she's got me on ignore...

What is the purpose of ignoring someone, but then letting everyone know that you have ignored them?

I have no idea why she's got me on ignore, and I would surely like to know if I have done something wrong.
 
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BarlyGurl

Guest
Well, my fine feather friend, the answer is NO. Now maybe many, many, many, many, many, many decades ago, YES. But then it wasn't an issue. :eek:
I disagree... SOME women are offended... some women sincerely appreciate that men make an effort to be God honoring leaders and I am personally embarrassed to be found standing beside any woman who spews vitriol at a man for making an effort to honor the Lord.
I heartily encourage any Christian man to NOT capitulate to rebellion and commend them for their righteous patience for making an effort to communicate fairly with women.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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Previously...



Violet was the one who asked why I did not PM the young lady, and now she's going on and on about how she's got me on ignore...

What is the purpose of ignoring someone, but then letting everyone know that you have ignored them?

I have no idea why she's got me on ignore, and I would surely like to know if I have done something wrong.

she has WILLIE on ignore.. not you :)
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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The only way to rebuff men you dont want bothering you is to straight out say you are not interested in any way and you are devoting your life to God right now and are not interested in marriage at all.Tell them to spread the word to their friends. Words plus actions should get your point across.Not interested,do not even try.
So back to the OP, I agree with sister kayla. I've noticed that when people stick to their answer ("no. I'm not interested.") The other party will eventually get tired and stop.
 
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BarlyGurl

Guest
Getting back to your post and question it all comes down to this...men are going to be interested in you because you are a women.No amount of clothes will hide that.A wedding ring a lot of times only makes men more interested.I had a young man in a store trying to have a conversation with me,clearly hitting on me.I was wearing a sparkling rock,my husband is very sweet and generous,you couldnt miss that rock if you tried.But he was acting a fool just the same.Women are raped in Muslim countries where they wear fabric from head to toe.You cant hide that you are a woman.The only way to rebuff men you dont want bothering you is to straight out say you are not interested in any way and you are devoting your life to God right now and are not interested in marriage at all.Tell them to spread the word to their friends. Words plus actions should get your point across.Not interested,do not even try.
Kayla, I think that is good advice for an American "style" culture... but not very good for Lihle's because some wicked men might be incited to hurt her BECAUSE she was following that sort of advice you are giving. I am more inclined to suggest she pray the lord protect her according to Psalm 94:4 and trust that he will "hide her" from these bad men as she goes about her business.
 
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Galahad

Guest
Zoii,

PW is twice your age.

My age is public info. also.

The type of clothing that I see preteens, teens, and young adult females wearing covers no more than the details. That's not an exaggeration. Not here in So Cal.
The standard of dress today is Less is More.
I only mention those things to show the difference in judgment as to what is modest and what is not.
Hopefully, no one will ask for proof. Foools! Sick O's!

First, my concern is that you learn what you can from PW's comments.
Second, let's assume your conclusion about PW's post and the immodest angel is correct. What of it, then? What if he meant what you say? So what's the big deal? You're going to get that sort of thing the rest of your life. You will.
Third, what will you do about it? Think about not reacting or responding. In other words, just wait. Think about all that PW wrote. If you are angry, don't respond.
If you just can't wait, put your disagreement up after you've prayed. Then post your disagreement in the form of questions, and in statements that reveal your intention of your avatar and art.

Example: "PW, I feel hurt, a bit terribly insulted by your post..." "PW, I'm angry. Yes, at you, but I want to get this cleared up." Stuff like that.

What your eyes see in your art collection, is not what the eye of boy or even a young man sees. Those eyes will be caught by the picture.

What you see as beauty, he will be caught by. His mind will see what his hormones lead him to see. Okay. Not all, but most boys and young men and some older.

You're a young girl 15. PW is a 31 male. Big difference in what you see and what he knows.

So then, Pray about your pain. Pray about your anger.

Perhaps you and PW can fix things through PMs.
 
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Pilkington

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2015
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I am sorry your thread has become so side tracked. I wanted to respond to your original post and thought long and hard about the times when I have received unwanted attention. I suspect it is because they know you are a widow and so see you as fair game. All you can do is be very clear that you have no intention of marrying again. Some will still persist as they will see you as a challenge all you can do is to remain strong and be clear that you are not interested hopefully they will eventually get the message.
 
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Galahad

Guest
Violet is one of my favorite people, but I do have to say that I also find the <IGNORE> button to be a fairly unproductive choice......... except for maybe trolls that haven't been kicked off yet.
Willie, Am I one of your favorite people?