-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Can't cite the actual origin of the custom/practice...........how I was raised.
Showing proper respect for Ladies..............and, if no other chair is available, makes it far easier to offer her your chair. Not that different from opening doors for Ladies.........or, when at a restaurant, pulling out the chair for her to sit, and gently pushing it in.........
Just how I was raised............
Showing proper respect for Ladies..............and, if no other chair is available, makes it far easier to offer her your chair. Not that different from opening doors for Ladies.........or, when at a restaurant, pulling out the chair for her to sit, and gently pushing it in.........
Just how I was raised............
seoulsearch you have got to get down to the south and find a nice guy. Down here we raise them to treat a lady right. If you would be blown away by a guy paying for himself and offering to pay for you... Down here that's just what a guy does. You don't ask someone out and then ask her to pay for it.
K
Aww I knew I liked your posts for a reason Lynx.I can amen that.Ny husband is a southerner and when we began to date and I offered to pay my own he said "I would like to pay.Its what a gentleman does and what my mother raised me to do.Its my job to pay."Times when he was running short on cash I'd have to really push him to use my money. I really thought he was a sweet guy,and now we're married.lol
Once, on a date, the girl I was with added some money to the tip I had left (I left somewhere between 15-20%.)
We never dated again.
I think some of these social protocols go both ways. For instance, my wife would never dream of slighting a man by opening her own door without first pausing and giving him the opportunity. Same thing with seating herself. She won't just start ordering at a restaurant, either. And she would consider it completely offensive to offer to pay when we are dining out. (She even "slips" me money if I am short, and they don't take a card.)
But, we were both raised right here... Me in St. Pete, and she, in Largo.
And, the funniest thing about all this is that we both just shake our heads at some women trying to act dumb to puff up the guys they are with. I guess it's just a cultural thing.
We never dated again.
I think some of these social protocols go both ways. For instance, my wife would never dream of slighting a man by opening her own door without first pausing and giving him the opportunity. Same thing with seating herself. She won't just start ordering at a restaurant, either. And she would consider it completely offensive to offer to pay when we are dining out. (She even "slips" me money if I am short, and they don't take a card.)
But, we were both raised right here... Me in St. Pete, and she, in Largo.
And, the funniest thing about all this is that we both just shake our heads at some women trying to act dumb to puff up the guys they are with. I guess it's just a cultural thing.
I think for me, I just see it as a way of serving her. I wouldn't be paying because I'm supposed to or because I want to feel more manly, I would be doing it out of a way that I know I could tangibly serve her. I'm not that great at cooking, I'm not much of a handyman, etc. So this is one way I know that I could love her well, and I think I would be bummed not to have that opportunity at least on occasion.
I also think there is something symbolic about it. The guy always being ready and willing to pay (even if he doesn't in the end) signifies that he understands that one of his roles as a husband someday will be to be the provider for his family and that he is willing to step into that role. With that said, though, I think it would be very easy to slip into pride for either gender when it comes to how they handle this particular aspect of dating, and it would be unfortunate to let a good thing go sour over the cost of a meal.
I also think there is something symbolic about it. The guy always being ready and willing to pay (even if he doesn't in the end) signifies that he understands that one of his roles as a husband someday will be to be the provider for his family and that he is willing to step into that role. With that said, though, I think it would be very easy to slip into pride for either gender when it comes to how they handle this particular aspect of dating, and it would be unfortunate to let a good thing go sour over the cost of a meal.
This has nothing to do with dating but I'm reminded of what Douglas Klinedinst said at a minister's retreat. He was talking about being an evangelist and offering to pay for the meal even though he knew the pastor would - it's just polite.
"I went three and a half years, never paid for a meal - but I would always have a ten dollar bill ready. The pastor reach for the check, I'd offer to pay ten bucks for mine. It was just polite."
"I held out a ten to one pastor and he said, 'Oh put that in your pocket, you've offered that bill to every pastor in the district. If I actually took it you'd have a heart attack and die!'"
"It also doesn't hurt to do the courtesy reach - while the pastor's reaching for the bill you're reaching in your back pocket for your wallet... 'Oh you're gonna... why thank you.' I don't even have my wallet back there, I just reach like it's there."
"I went three and a half years, never paid for a meal - but I would always have a ten dollar bill ready. The pastor reach for the check, I'd offer to pay ten bucks for mine. It was just polite."
"I held out a ten to one pastor and he said, 'Oh put that in your pocket, you've offered that bill to every pastor in the district. If I actually took it you'd have a heart attack and die!'"
"It also doesn't hurt to do the courtesy reach - while the pastor's reaching for the bill you're reaching in your back pocket for your wallet... 'Oh you're gonna... why thank you.' I don't even have my wallet back there, I just reach like it's there."
Count me in for the guy paying for the first couple of dates. After that, if it becomes an ongoing thing, then expenses should be shared. Hopefully, by then some knowledge of the other person's financial situation is considered. Things come up and if one really wants to go with the other person to a concert or other special event that can get pricy, then that person should pay. But for routine outings, shared expenses.
I don't get the slipping cash to the man at the table thing if he is short. If he was taking her out, then he should have planned better. If a married couple, I don't see why it's so important for him to pay the waiter instead of him when (pesumeably they are on a joint income). It seems like uneccessary face-saving to me.
I don't get the slipping cash to the man at the table thing if he is short. If he was taking her out, then he should have planned better. If a married couple, I don't see why it's so important for him to pay the waiter instead of him when (pesumeably they are on a joint income). It seems like uneccessary face-saving to me.
V
I don't think it's an ego thing at all, with men or with women. It's just a common courtesy. Working in the corporate world for almost 30 years, picking up the tab at a power lunch was always a friendly tug-o-war. Unless of course the CEO announced beforehand that lunch was on them. You don't argue with da boss. 
heehee
heehee