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So much to say and so few good reasons to say it 
But gifts are fun, yes. You're a good gift-giver, Seoulsearch
But gifts are fun, yes. You're a good gift-giver, Seoulsearch
Alas, I'm sorry. This thread is supposed to be about who pays...
If I make a lot of corny jokes... Who is going to be the one who pays the price??!!
Ha! ha! that´s the tendency, yet I have heard other people thoughts...
A couple of days back I invited someone to eat hot dogs... On that way she suddenly changed her mind and said: "I want hamburger, instead" but I said: "I invited you to eat hot dogs! The price is another and my budged is limited to what I actually have..." She honesty said. "But I have money to pay for what i want" (and that gave me a new lesson).
when we reached that place she didn´t buy her hamburger. Instead, she wanted to eat the sausage, that "meat" inside the hotdog.
So I paid one, but she ate 2 more... How many times a person likes to be invited at no cost? That´s what I learned.
I do not fit for those games!
and I´m done.
A couple of days back I invited someone to eat hot dogs... On that way she suddenly changed her mind and said: "I want hamburger, instead" but I said: "I invited you to eat hot dogs! The price is another and my budged is limited to what I actually have..." She honesty said. "But I have money to pay for what i want" (and that gave me a new lesson).
when we reached that place she didn´t buy her hamburger. Instead, she wanted to eat the sausage, that "meat" inside the hotdog.
So I paid one, but she ate 2 more... How many times a person likes to be invited at no cost? That´s what I learned.
I do not fit for those games!
and I´m done.
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I would always be willing to pay on a date. I don't expect the guy to pay, but if he is asking me to go somewhere and do something, then it'd be nice if he did, but like gypsygirl said, I'd probably try to make it up by buying us ice cream later or something.
I think I'd want to casually discuss it beforehand, hopefully, before we ordered, just because when the waitress comes around and asks "Is this together or separate?" I wouldn't want that awkward moment of me looking at him and making it seem like it's all on him to decide, but then not wanting to offend if I say "separate...?", so either discussing it before ("Hey, I've got dinner covered") or if he's super quick when the waitress asks and saves us that moment of awkwardness, ha.
I can think of a few things I want to do for dates where we'd compete to see who paid. My bread-on-the-geese one, for example, or a water gun game during the summer or something, where if you lose you pay. Just to have more fun ways to decide and add a little competitiveness but...I'm competitive and he better not "let" me win.
I think I'd want to casually discuss it beforehand, hopefully, before we ordered, just because when the waitress comes around and asks "Is this together or separate?" I wouldn't want that awkward moment of me looking at him and making it seem like it's all on him to decide, but then not wanting to offend if I say "separate...?", so either discussing it before ("Hey, I've got dinner covered") or if he's super quick when the waitress asks and saves us that moment of awkwardness, ha.
I can think of a few things I want to do for dates where we'd compete to see who paid. My bread-on-the-geese one, for example, or a water gun game during the summer or something, where if you lose you pay. Just to have more fun ways to decide and add a little competitiveness but...I'm competitive and he better not "let" me win.
G
I personally think it's fair to say whoever is doing the inviting should've considered the paying. If you don't have a lot of money then it's on you to provide a successful cheap-date (which is actually more apt to success). Other than that I would say whoever is trying to impress the other (do people still do that) should of course pay. If your coworkers are the typical females that impress their dates by shortening both ends of their dress well then I can see why they don't feel obligated.
S
I would always be willing to pay on a date. I don't expect the guy to pay, but if he is asking me to go somewhere and do something, then it'd be nice if he did, but like gypsygirl said, I'd probably try to make it up by buying us ice cream later or something.
I think I'd want to casually discuss it beforehand, hopefully, before we ordered, just because when the waitress comes around and asks "Is this together or separate?" I wouldn't want that awkward moment of me looking at him and making it seem like it's all on him to decide, but then not wanting to offend if I say "separate...?", so either discussing it before ("Hey, I've got dinner covered") or if he's super quick when the waitress asks and saves us that moment of awkwardness, ha.
I can think of a few things I want to do for dates where we'd compete to see who paid. My bread-on-the-geese one, for example, or a water gun game during the summer or something, where if you lose you pay. Just to have more fun ways to decide and add a little competitiveness but...I'm competitive and he better not "let" me win.
I think I'd want to casually discuss it beforehand, hopefully, before we ordered, just because when the waitress comes around and asks "Is this together or separate?" I wouldn't want that awkward moment of me looking at him and making it seem like it's all on him to decide, but then not wanting to offend if I say "separate...?", so either discussing it before ("Hey, I've got dinner covered") or if he's super quick when the waitress asks and saves us that moment of awkwardness, ha.
I can think of a few things I want to do for dates where we'd compete to see who paid. My bread-on-the-geese one, for example, or a water gun game during the summer or something, where if you lose you pay. Just to have more fun ways to decide and add a little competitiveness but...I'm competitive and he better not "let" me win.
As long as the ice cream is somewhere else...
Splitting the check to deal with dessert feels too much like going in on a pizza - that's work.
Me, I'd settle for just alternating who pays, and if I asked her then she can just leave her wallet at home the first time - I'm buying if I ask someone out. The question is more one of after one or two times of doing that (maybe three), let's figure out some sort of equitable distribution that we can both live with.
S
Err, that sounds nice but... tricky...
Generally it's not a good idea to go touching people until after you're somewhat farther along in a relationship. I mean hugging someone is one thing, but extended contact like a shoulder rub? Some people don't like it. You've got to ease in to that kind of thing, although it IS important at a certain stage in a relationship.
It could be a deal breaker if someone doesn't like to be touched. After all, at some point if someone is going to be considered marriage material, they need to let you in to their personal space on occasion - but not all at once, and not early on.
I'd liken it to trying to pet a strange animal (this goes for either men or women). At first when you approach the response is wait, what are you doing here... wait a minu... oh this is kind of nice, this is no threat. Do not call you date a strange animal though - or you won't be talking to her ever again.
I don't feel like going on a date with a girl I am not interested in, just to pass the time. I don't feel I have to have a date of some kind to be happy. (I mention these because I have observed that is why some people go on dates.)
If I find a girl I like enough to consider maybe one day having a really strong relationship with I will ask her out. So far the only girls I have met like this were already taken, and I ain't no poacher. In fact there are many nice ladies at my church alone that would make a very good date and perhaps future wife, but they are already married. The ones who are still single are thus for good reasons, said reasons being enough to make me not want to go on a date with them.
If I find a girl I like enough to consider maybe one day having a really strong relationship with I will ask her out. So far the only girls I have met like this were already taken, and I ain't no poacher. In fact there are many nice ladies at my church alone that would make a very good date and perhaps future wife, but they are already married. The ones who are still single are thus for good reasons, said reasons being enough to make me not want to go on a date with them.
S
You do realize that a lot of women say that crap at that age right? Most of them grow up at some point or another in their early to mid 20's. Just ignore the ones who don't.
Definitely ignore the ones who don't though - they meet a man who is moderately financially successful and then castrate him throughout a long and grueling marriage which defines the rest of his pathetic existence. Sometimes they decide he's no fun any more (after they've castrated him) and file for divorce.
The rest of the women out there though, most of them are tolerable, some are even exceptional (though they are rare or I wouldn't be single). Not trying only guarantees a negative outcome.
But seriously I heard those same comments as a teenager, and did manage to get a few dates. That wasn't what stopped me from dating at all, but more the fact that I was in fact, someone who could never provide for a woman in any real capacity until quite recently. Women do seem to want that, whether they say so or not, plus if I couldn't offer it, I couldn't really offer anything of value any ways.
Now, I'm not sure what's holding me back.