honestly, most guys don't do the whole standing or pulling out (or pushing) the chair thing. the door opening is pretty common, but what is really awkward is being the girl who is trying not to offend either with expectations.
i've been out with guys who did the whole 9 yards. opened the car door, opened all the doors, pulled the chair out, and stood up when i went to the ladies room. then there are guys whose will hold the door open for you (and that's about it) but are very polite, nonetheless.
it's really sometimes hard to predict who will do what, and and if a guy is expecting to do all these courtesies and you're not expecting him to, there is a weird moment where you are aware of the fact that you're not giving him the chance to do that. on the other hand, there is an equally awkward moment of anticipation when you're waiting because the last date you were on, the guy kind of trotted over to open the car door. but THIS guy is standing behind the car and waiting for you. it's really not that big of a deal, but being cognizant of all that stuff can escape your mind if you're actually engaged in conversation or just not thinking about it.
i know you're thinking, "oh, you can tell, because of age, where he was raised, evidence of civility, etc." but honestly, i've found there isn't always a good predictor of such things.
i've been surprised more than once by the guy who seems like the last person in the world to care about such things.
by the way, there is only one thing i find annoying in the whole chivalry thing. i don't need someone to order dinner for me--as if the big words and complicated menu is too much for my simple little mind.
while it's seldom a thing, i really find that bit of chivalry a bit annoying and kind of unnecessary.
