K
Hi, fellow believers! I'm new here and I need some help from some of you. I grew up in a Christian home, but right now, at 29 years of age, I can't find a good church around where I live, so I am not plugged in anywhere. I guess this is my best bet as far as crying out for some help from other Christians. Yeah, I know... there's no substitute for real relationships, but a chat room is all I've got right now.
I just have a real problem here. I've been dating this wonderful guy for about 9 months now. A family that I babysit for set me up with him because, of course, they thought we'd hit it off and make a great match. He has a great heart, he's responsible, dependable, ready to settle down, my family loves him, everyone loves him. He's full of life and we have a wonderful time together. We are great together in so many ways. He wants to marry me and I want to marry him. Things look good on the outside, BUT something is wrong that I don't know how to fix and make right with God.
You see, I have rarely ever dated because I always had very high standards for purity and never met anyone that had those same standards. I was not even kissed until I was 25.
Long story short, I met him, started dating him. After 2 months, we ended up sleeping together. Yes, I kept myself until age 29 and screwed it up. I told him how awful I felt about it and he says he feels bad too, but I don't think NEARLY as bad as I do. I asked him what he thought was "too far" for a christian, and he said "intercourse." I feel awful because my values on purity are so different from that and I can't believe I compromised myself soooooo much. I have not ended things with him because I talked some of my concerns over with my mother and we agreed there were so many other things that were so great about our relationship, that it would be a shame to just throw it away.
Although I did stop having intercourse with him, he is always trying to push the limits and it is very difficult for me because he is so great in so many other ways except this area. I want my relationship to be centered on Christ and I don't think it can be if the mindset is "physically, everything is ok for us to do except for intercourse"
How do I turn this around without it being a huge culture shock. I mean, how on earth can I work this through?! He is always so excited about us getting married and telling me how he doesn't know what he would do without me, but I feel like I am grievously disobeying God by letting things go on like this. I am soooo conflicted!!!!
I just have a real problem here. I've been dating this wonderful guy for about 9 months now. A family that I babysit for set me up with him because, of course, they thought we'd hit it off and make a great match. He has a great heart, he's responsible, dependable, ready to settle down, my family loves him, everyone loves him. He's full of life and we have a wonderful time together. We are great together in so many ways. He wants to marry me and I want to marry him. Things look good on the outside, BUT something is wrong that I don't know how to fix and make right with God.
You see, I have rarely ever dated because I always had very high standards for purity and never met anyone that had those same standards. I was not even kissed until I was 25.
Long story short, I met him, started dating him. After 2 months, we ended up sleeping together. Yes, I kept myself until age 29 and screwed it up. I told him how awful I felt about it and he says he feels bad too, but I don't think NEARLY as bad as I do. I asked him what he thought was "too far" for a christian, and he said "intercourse." I feel awful because my values on purity are so different from that and I can't believe I compromised myself soooooo much. I have not ended things with him because I talked some of my concerns over with my mother and we agreed there were so many other things that were so great about our relationship, that it would be a shame to just throw it away.
Although I did stop having intercourse with him, he is always trying to push the limits and it is very difficult for me because he is so great in so many other ways except this area. I want my relationship to be centered on Christ and I don't think it can be if the mindset is "physically, everything is ok for us to do except for intercourse"
How do I turn this around without it being a huge culture shock. I mean, how on earth can I work this through?! He is always so excited about us getting married and telling me how he doesn't know what he would do without me, but I feel like I am grievously disobeying God by letting things go on like this. I am soooo conflicted!!!!