Sex: The most searched for term on CC
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That could be true for those who have never been married because there has never been a "right" context for it. For those of us who have been married before (10 years for me), this was a normal part of our lives. It was a good thing to do. Now suddenly it's bad. It's kinda hard to readjust to living a virgin-like life again. I still remember everything. I know what I like and how I like it. I miss the oneness of it. I miss the fun and the complete acceptance of it. It's pretty tempting to try to recreate that scenario with someone new, but now it would be a sin. So, yeah, it is something I think about a lot.
But your admonition to holiness is correct. I try to replace those thoughts, those feelings with time with the Lord and prayer. He is getting me through this time, even though the road seems to be without end.
But your admonition to holiness is correct. I try to replace those thoughts, those feelings with time with the Lord and prayer. He is getting me through this time, even though the road seems to be without end.
A
Awhile back, I listened to the sermon series 'Real Marriage' by Mark Driscoll and also read the book. The fact is, I've never been married but I learnt so much from the content, especially regarding the topic about sex. Actually learning about sex within a covenant marriage gave me strength to withstand temptation and to keep myself for my future husband.
If I didn't have any understanding about what God glorifying intimacy looked like, I would either hold on to the mindset that sex is gross rather than a gift, or I would be out there doing it all the time. I think if someone had impure intentions as to why they are searching 'sex' on a Christian website, then that would be completely idiotic. This is not a porn site. What would a lustful driven individual gain from searching 'sex' in here? Plus how do we know that the majority wasn't married people who wanted to find Christian views on what a healthy sex life looks like?
I think, a long time ago we could shun away from the idea and focus on more edifying topics, but culture has changed and media is no longer our friend. We need the right weapons to face certain giants in our lives. Maybe we need a bible based, informative, God glorifying message on sex out there to counteract the images and messages we are bombarded with everyday. People either see sex as GOD, as GROSS, or as a GIFT, and I think its about time we set it straight.
If I didn't have any understanding about what God glorifying intimacy looked like, I would either hold on to the mindset that sex is gross rather than a gift, or I would be out there doing it all the time. I think if someone had impure intentions as to why they are searching 'sex' on a Christian website, then that would be completely idiotic. This is not a porn site. What would a lustful driven individual gain from searching 'sex' in here? Plus how do we know that the majority wasn't married people who wanted to find Christian views on what a healthy sex life looks like?
I think, a long time ago we could shun away from the idea and focus on more edifying topics, but culture has changed and media is no longer our friend. We need the right weapons to face certain giants in our lives. Maybe we need a bible based, informative, God glorifying message on sex out there to counteract the images and messages we are bombarded with everyday. People either see sex as GOD, as GROSS, or as a GIFT, and I think its about time we set it straight.
Arlene, thank you for taking the time to so clearly explain your experiences and beliefs. It certainly is encouraging to know that knowledge helped you to combat the devil, I have no doubt that God's hand was in it. It may very well be a foolish comparison to try and make, but I think this actually may have helped me more clearly define the concern I had with the direction the church seemed to be moving in.
Let me start by saying that I am a scientist, I went to a highly technical university here in the USA; I am not damning knowledge. I look throughout the Bible and see Jesus' most powerful acts a result of faith. Faith that Jesus was who He said, faith that what Jesus said to do was righteous just because it was Him who said it. The centurion, peter walking on water just to name a couple. Later in Romans 1:17 For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last,[SUP]e[/SUP] just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.” . And this is where the trend concerns me. To be unable to live by faith is a troublesome predicament to be in. It seems that seeking knowledge to combat sin reduces the role of faith in a believer's life, relying on one's own understanding (of sex in this case). But it is that faith that is our greatest power. So I continue to wonder... is this trend harmful or benign? I honestly don't know, but I do know that as for me, I will seek to live by faith and try to push away any thoughts or questions about sex that creep in. I am certainly not perfect, I'm not suggesting that any of us will be, but I do think seeking to live by faith alone(or as close as we can) is a noble goal and to discard that goal is detrimental to the spiritual health of a christian.
Again, thank you for sharing, being able to see things through your eyes has both helped me more clearly understand my own views as well as add some additional insight to help adjust them.
Let me start by saying that I am a scientist, I went to a highly technical university here in the USA; I am not damning knowledge. I look throughout the Bible and see Jesus' most powerful acts a result of faith. Faith that Jesus was who He said, faith that what Jesus said to do was righteous just because it was Him who said it. The centurion, peter walking on water just to name a couple. Later in Romans 1:17 For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last,[SUP]e[/SUP] just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.” . And this is where the trend concerns me. To be unable to live by faith is a troublesome predicament to be in. It seems that seeking knowledge to combat sin reduces the role of faith in a believer's life, relying on one's own understanding (of sex in this case). But it is that faith that is our greatest power. So I continue to wonder... is this trend harmful or benign? I honestly don't know, but I do know that as for me, I will seek to live by faith and try to push away any thoughts or questions about sex that creep in. I am certainly not perfect, I'm not suggesting that any of us will be, but I do think seeking to live by faith alone(or as close as we can) is a noble goal and to discard that goal is detrimental to the spiritual health of a christian.
Again, thank you for sharing, being able to see things through your eyes has both helped me more clearly understand my own views as well as add some additional insight to help adjust them.
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U
Anyone find it ironic that you are constantly hearing 'sex is so taboo in the church, no one ever wants to talk about it'. But yet.. you hear people say that all the time. I think some people get it in their heads that things are a certain way, when it's not true. Or they hear others say it, so they parrot it. It is a constant topic on this site. It maintains the top search word for this site. Everyone has plenty to say about it. So where is all this 'taboo' that everyone complains about?
"And this is where the trend concerns me. To be unable to live by faith is a troublesome predicament to be in. It seems that seeking knowledge to combat sin reduces the role of faith in a believer's life, relying on one's own understanding (of sex in this case). But it is that faith that is our greatest power. So I continue to wonder... is this trend harmful or benign?"
LightningClap0002,
I think your post provides a great topic that deserves its own thread for a lengthy discussion. I definitely see your concern and agree with your view; yes, the righteous will live by faith and trust me when I say that it was a fresh reminder for me. At the same time, however, I find myself more inclined to Arlene89's view because of my own personal experience. I don't think Arlene89 was just talking about relying on any knowledge that can be obtained but "a bible based" knowledge as she mentioned in her post. She started off her post with a sermon series 'Real Marriage' by Mark Driscoll. The reason I mention that is because I was looking for sermons regarding relationship/marriage and stumbled on his sermons. And this eventually lead me to another sermon series by different pastor, Andy Stanley, and his sermon series, 'The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating,' really gave me a deeper understanding/knowledge on what sex really is, how fragile yet devastating it can be, and how I should treat it - honor God with your body in the context of sexuality.
Romans 10:17 says that faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the word of Christ. My faith, I believe, came from my understanding that God loves me so dearly, therefore, I want to put my trust and obey Him even if it does not make sense at the time. I don't think I decided to put my faith and trust in God all of sudden but rather it started to build up in my life from reading the bible and hearing the message (it was mainly the book of Psalm for me).
So I think what Arlene89 was trying to say was, in fact, same as what you were saying; it's just that you put the bigger picture of what we ought to do and she provided some practical ways to draw that picture.
Lastly, again, you are so on point about the righteous living by faith and it was such a wake up call for me to see the bigger picture, especially in the ages where Christians look to human-based knowledge rather than living by faith. Thank you.
PS: if anyone is looking for a sermon series on sex, I strongly recommend Andy Stanley's 'The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating.'
LightningClap0002,
I think your post provides a great topic that deserves its own thread for a lengthy discussion. I definitely see your concern and agree with your view; yes, the righteous will live by faith and trust me when I say that it was a fresh reminder for me. At the same time, however, I find myself more inclined to Arlene89's view because of my own personal experience. I don't think Arlene89 was just talking about relying on any knowledge that can be obtained but "a bible based" knowledge as she mentioned in her post. She started off her post with a sermon series 'Real Marriage' by Mark Driscoll. The reason I mention that is because I was looking for sermons regarding relationship/marriage and stumbled on his sermons. And this eventually lead me to another sermon series by different pastor, Andy Stanley, and his sermon series, 'The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating,' really gave me a deeper understanding/knowledge on what sex really is, how fragile yet devastating it can be, and how I should treat it - honor God with your body in the context of sexuality.
Romans 10:17 says that faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the word of Christ. My faith, I believe, came from my understanding that God loves me so dearly, therefore, I want to put my trust and obey Him even if it does not make sense at the time. I don't think I decided to put my faith and trust in God all of sudden but rather it started to build up in my life from reading the bible and hearing the message (it was mainly the book of Psalm for me).
So I think what Arlene89 was trying to say was, in fact, same as what you were saying; it's just that you put the bigger picture of what we ought to do and she provided some practical ways to draw that picture.
Lastly, again, you are so on point about the righteous living by faith and it was such a wake up call for me to see the bigger picture, especially in the ages where Christians look to human-based knowledge rather than living by faith. Thank you.
PS: if anyone is looking for a sermon series on sex, I strongly recommend Andy Stanley's 'The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating.'
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What if I told you the frosting is a lie?
The carrot on the string is just stringing you along.
The cherry on top of the cupcake is not the prize but merely the tip of the iceberg.
What if I told you that in and of itself, its simply not worth it?
If you value this one thing, you are probably missing it.
If you are advertising this as your redeeming quality, you are probably missing it too.
Even if you owned a Shiny Red sports car. How much time would spend throttling it through the curves? You would probably say A LOT. But that isn't life. You can't simply quit your job and Race around all day. Eventually you will get over it, even if you redline in 5th at least once a day.
The advertising will never tell you this. It wants you to crave the frosting. But then why don't we just sell big cake sized boxes of frosting?
We only seem to want what we can't have, what is hard or what we believe will inspire jealousy in others. Should this be the core reason for pursuing something?
What percentage of our time do we spend eating frosting?
what percentage of our time do we spend thinking about eating frosting?
If you bought a cake for the frosting, you're going to have a bad time.
I want to buy a cake because I love everything about it, no matter what kind of frosting it has. 99% of my time is going to be spent with the cake, not the frosting. I think my ability to cherish the cake, even when its old should occupy my thoughts more than how delicious the frosting looks.
The carrot on the string is just stringing you along.
The cherry on top of the cupcake is not the prize but merely the tip of the iceberg.
What if I told you that in and of itself, its simply not worth it?
If you value this one thing, you are probably missing it.
If you are advertising this as your redeeming quality, you are probably missing it too.
Even if you owned a Shiny Red sports car. How much time would spend throttling it through the curves? You would probably say A LOT. But that isn't life. You can't simply quit your job and Race around all day. Eventually you will get over it, even if you redline in 5th at least once a day.
The advertising will never tell you this. It wants you to crave the frosting. But then why don't we just sell big cake sized boxes of frosting?
We only seem to want what we can't have, what is hard or what we believe will inspire jealousy in others. Should this be the core reason for pursuing something?
What percentage of our time do we spend eating frosting?
what percentage of our time do we spend thinking about eating frosting?
If you bought a cake for the frosting, you're going to have a bad time.
I want to buy a cake because I love everything about it, no matter what kind of frosting it has. 99% of my time is going to be spent with the cake, not the frosting. I think my ability to cherish the cake, even when its old should occupy my thoughts more than how delicious the frosting looks.
