what the qualities that GUYS looking for in a woman?

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christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#62
Oct 1, 2013
594
280
63
#62
GodIsSalvation said:
1. Someone who loves Jesus
2. Someone who loves me

Anything else is just minor details and preferences.
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That was my exact mindset when I was in my 20's - I was pretty adamant about my belief in the power of love. For real.

Can someone who love Jesus have "baggage" like gambling problem, pornography addiction (or any addiction for that matter), or unresolved child issues from broken/abusive family? And is it possible that someone could come along in your life and love you, even with all the issues and baggage, and eventually get married? Sure. Then.. it's no longer minor details - just any of the things I mentioned (or any other unresolved issues or baggage) in a marriage is more than capable of destroying marriage even if it doesn't end in divorce. People are NOT getting divorced by making what is actually simple into something rather complicated, but rather, by simplifying and underestimating the realistic portrayal of marriage, especially should you or your spouse come with unresolved issues, that can easily, EASILY complicate both you and your spouse to the point of getting divorced. I don't have to get married to know this, simply judging from my past relationships even though we loved Jesus at the time and loved each other fiercely.
 
M

mystikmind

Guest
#64
#64
I think the number 1 thing i would find attractive in a woman is her ability to focus and give priority to what is good and what is valuable in life, you know, perhaps there is financial pressure, or perhaps the house is a bit messy, and yet, she can still be happy, and perhaps right now she might choose that it is more important to her to spend time with her husband or playing with the kids than cleaning up, you know, just to show that the family is her priority and not the mess which can wait.

I say this because this is something my wife just refused to get, and in the end it ruined our marriage and now we are getting divorced. And it is not that i would not help to clean up, i just wanted her to show me that she could let it go and prove i was more of a priority to her, but no.
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#68
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#68
Well you asked for a top five. I'll stick with positive character traits. The negative ones can go in a "What do men avoid?" thread should it exist, so here goes nothing:

1. Respect. Respect for me. Respect for herself. Respect for others.

2. Emotional security/psychological stability.

3. Femininity. Why would I want be with a woman who wants to look and act like a man?

4. A clear love of God.

5. Physically attractive qualities that draw me in. No, she wouldn't need the looks of a WWII pinup to fill that need... they wouldn't hurt though...
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#69
#69
QUOTE=mystikmind;1930162]I think the number 1 thing i would find attractive in a woman is her ability to focus and give priority to what is good and what is valuable in life, you know, perhaps there is financial pressure, or perhaps the house is a bit messy, and yet, she can still be happy, and perhaps right now she might choose that it is more important to her to spend time with her husband or playing with the kids than cleaning up, you know, just to show that the family is her priority and not the mess which can wait.

I say this because this is something my wife just refused to get, and in the end it ruined our marriage and now we are getting divorced. And it is not that i would not help to clean up, i just wanted her to show me that she could let it go and prove i was more of a priority to her, but no.[/QUOTE]

and this...


QUOTE- desdichado ) Well you asked for a top five. I'll stick with positive character traits. The negative ones can go in a "What do men avoid?" thread should it exist, so here goes nothing:

1. Respect. Respect for me. Respect for herself. Respect for others.

2. Emotional security/psychological stability.

3. Femininity. Why would I want be with a woman who wants to look and act like a man?

4. A clear love of God.

5. Physically attractive qualities that draw me in. No, she wouldn't need the looks of a WWII pinup to fill that need... they wouldn't hurt though...
 
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A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#70
#70
Willingness to sign a really really strong prenup.
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#72
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
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0
#72
gypsygirl said:

okay, so here's a thought for you.

you suggest, that "if the woman loves you, she'll communicate with you".

well, here's another real wrinkle. did you know that two people who love each other and have shared goals can still employ very different communication methods that could easily leave one or both frustrated and quite dissatisfied (and even more in the dark) with the ultimate outcome of the conversations?

or the very point of communication could become subjugated by the lack of understanding? it doesn't matter how well you can communicate if you're talking to a brick wall. or someone who with different abilities or preferences.

also, you comment that "loving God means she'll [our] children children with you".

well, i am not sure what you mean by that statement, but ultimately a vast majority of the execution of these day-to-day choices, and the fulfillment of these so-called "common goals" still require a great deal of interpretation of the same scripture that may hold very different meaning to you.

further, what would happen if you are asking her to do things that she feels are completely wrong, or outside her biblical interpretation? in that sense, her view might be that you're actually asking her to GO AGAINST God. and as such, even the most submissive and passive woman might hold her ground and reject your ideology, citing her reasoning and your instructing her to "go against God". i've actually seen this play out between two very godly-minded people.

so, while you can certainly both intend to live your life consistent with loving God and making biblical choices, the reality is that it can still look very different between folks.

honestly, i only bring this up because i see this kind of statement made all the time, and it greatly concerns me.

if there's one thing i believe with all my heart, it's almost impossible to have too much communication when it comes to understanding the heart, intention, goals, and and desires of two people seriously considering a life together.

and to your final statement, considering how rampant divorce remains (even among the christian population) in sincerely doubt that it exists by the over-complication of simple principles.

more like lacking obedience, taking things for granted, flawed communication, disordered priorities, selfish and prideful behavior, along with a litany of other related issues.
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On communication:

Aye there are many means and methods to communication.

If you are hitting a "brick wall" then that is not much of a communication, but rather is as a Communication Breakdown. The Breakdown comes from complexity, but the solution is simple. Both must love eachother and one must speak and one must hear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGUsGlpDJkE
[video=youtube;fGUsGlpDJkE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGUsGlpDJkE[/video]

On interpretation:

There is no private interpretation. Since there is no private interpretation of the Bible nor of love, then in your example it is simple. If you love someone don't ask them to do something against God.

On divorce:

Aye, lack of obedience, taking things for granted, communication breakdown, disorder, and the litany of issues are all reasons people don't love eachother. Those are all complications.

Love is simple and will thwart complications.
 
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#73
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#73
GodIsSalvation said:
On communication:

Aye there are many means and methods to communication.

If you are hitting a "brick wall" then that is not much of a communication, but rather is as a Communication Breakdown. The Breakdown comes from complexity, but the solution is simple. Both must love eachother and one must speak and one must hear.

On interpretation:

There is no private interpretation. Since there is no private interpretation of the Bible nor of love, then in your example it is simple. If you love someone don't ask them to do something against God.

On divorce:

Aye, lack of obedience, taking things for granted, communication breakdown, disorder, and the litany of issues are all reasons people don't love eachother. Those are all complications.

Love is simple and will thwart complications.
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thanks for your reply.

speaking of a brick wall--i don't think we're speaking the same language. this would be an excellent example of a communication breakdown. : )

nonetheless, i do appreciate your views, and wholeheartedly wish you the best in your future romantic pursuits/marriage. : )
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#74
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#74
gypsygirl said:

thanks for your reply.

speaking of a brick wall--i don't think we're speaking the same language. this would be an excellent example of a communication breakdown. : )

nonetheless, i do appreciate your views, and wholeheartedly wish you the best in your future romantic pursuits/marriage. : )
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Is it because you will not hear me that we have a complication of communication?

Is it because you appreciate me and I appreciate you that there is not a need for a communication breakdown to complicate our love for eachother?
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#76
#76
jeremyPJ said:
5. Physically attractive qualities that draw me in. No, she wouldn't need the looks of a WWII pinup to fill that need... they wouldn't hurt though...
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Nothin like Memphis Belle?:D
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#77
Sep 4, 2013
30,196
6,539
113
#77
Originally Posted by AgeofKnowledge
Willingness to sign a really really strong prenup.

Blond said: My thoughts are if you can't trust the person you are marrying then don't marry.


:) Every man and woman that gets married signs a prenup................when they state their Wedding Vows, that constitutes an oral agreement which is legal and binding. Thus the reason to set aside those vows requires Lawyers, and Judges filing/ruling on a Suit of Divorce.

What a whole lot of men and women do not realize is that those vows are also legal and binding in the eyes of God. He has a different perspective on "prenups." :)
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#78
Aug 13, 2014
24,916
8,169
113
#78
Now I'm itching to make a new thread, but it would be inappropriate for Singles forum and I dare not post it in the Family forum. "Should a couple get a prenup before marrying?"

Personally I see prenups as insurance in case the marriage doesn't work out. If you're that doubtful you will be able to stay with someone, you shouldn't get hitched.

Just imo.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#79
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,586
113
#79
Lynx said:
Now I'm itching to make a new thread, but it would be inappropriate for Singles forum and I dare not post it in the Family forum. "Should a couple get a prenup before marrying?"

Personally I see prenups as insurance in case the marriage doesn't work out. If you're that doubtful you will be able to stay with someone, you shouldn't get hitched.

Just imo.
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We've actually had the prenup discussion here in Singles several times over the years via specific threads on the topic.

As you can imagine, the last few times turned into a slug fest, and we're not talking escargot without shells.

Henceforth... the reason why it hasn't been brought up again for a while. There's always talk about what a man has to lose and that he has to protect his assets... Seeing as I've only had relationships with chronic/compulsive spenders and I was raised to be frugal and cautious, a discussion from the other side (What if the Woman Is the One Protecting Assets) would be interesting, but let's face it.

I've already had my quota of... disagreements... here for a while so I guess I have to wait.

At least a day or two. ;)
 
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