okay, so here's a thought for you.
you suggest, that "if the woman loves you, she'll communicate with you".
well, here's another real wrinkle. did you know that two people who love each other and have shared goals can still employ very different communication methods that could easily leave one or both frustrated and quite dissatisfied (and even more in the dark) with the ultimate outcome of the conversations?
or the very point of communication could become subjugated by the lack of understanding? it doesn't matter how well you can communicate if you're talking to a brick wall. or someone who with different abilities or preferences.
also, you comment that "loving God means she'll [our] children children with you".
well, i am not sure what you mean by that statement, but ultimately a vast majority of the execution of these day-to-day choices, and the fulfillment of these so-called "common goals" still require a great deal of interpretation of the same scripture that may hold very different meaning to you.
further, what would happen if you are asking her to do things that she feels are completely wrong, or outside her biblical interpretation? in that sense, her view might be that you're actually asking her to GO AGAINST God. and as such, even the most submissive and passive woman might hold her ground and reject your ideology, citing her reasoning and your instructing her to "go against God". i've actually seen this play out between two very godly-minded people.
so, while you can certainly both intend to live your life consistent with loving God and making biblical choices, the reality is that it can still look very different between folks.
honestly, i only bring this up because i see this kind of statement made all the time, and it greatly concerns me.
if there's one thing i believe with all my heart, it's almost impossible to have too much communication when it comes to understanding the heart, intention, goals, and and desires of two people seriously considering a life together.
and to your final statement, considering how rampant divorce remains (even among the christian population) in sincerely doubt that it exists by the over-complication of simple principles.
more like lacking obedience, taking things for granted, flawed communication, disordered priorities, selfish and prideful behavior, along with a litany of other related issues.