Is this an attempt at dry humor? I'm really "Polish" with this sort of thing.
No there isn't a bit of humour there dry or wet. That was straight from the heart. I suppose originally it was a need for some kind of fellowship. I could not listen to the one (pastor) controlling everything. The worship team never changing, or the ministry team always the same. I gave or tithed to my own hurt, and that of my family and children.
Jesus never asked this of us. The word says if we do not look after our families we are worse than 'infidels'. I was duped into doing just that and taking from my children what they needed from their father and providing for a pastor that gave to another to put stuff on TV
in Nigeria, had three guard dogs, trained to attack, and a life style fit for a king.
I was led to be away from that fellowship and the Lord has done wonders in my life. The damage that was done has had long lasting effects for both my wife and children. I solder on because I must, I can not deny Jesus or what He has done or how he has led me.
I know we have crossed swords because of this grace stuff, and I know and understand I am saved. When I fail I bring all back to Jesus and in doing so I understand, within my heart, that in my failing/weakness is Jesus strength. I see it and the Spirit confirms this within me, that I am loved no matter what, and keeping Jesus in my line of sight will keep me from being swallowed up by "by the pit".
The enemy has a good go at me most of the time. I slip because i am human. I say sorry/repent and then say "Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice", I as a human do not understand how this works, I just know it does and I feel the Love jesus brings to my heart and the peace it brings to my being.
I want everyone to feel this peace, because it really does pass all understanding, even in the face of conflict and all life throws at me.
I love you sister, I truly do. I see stuff on here at CC that does not love and tries to undermine those who can not stand for themselves, and that makes me sad, not so much for those who are on the receiving end but for those who give out the "You do not make sense" or who say "You talk rubbish" or who say "you words are wishy washy" but mean there is no directness about them. Jesus suffered the same, everyone wanted something concrete so they could be unequivocal about stuff. Love is not 'unequivocal' love is love, it forgives, it pleads a cause it loves to its own demise because that is what love is, that is who Jesus is.