The best thing to do for an abusive person is to pray them. If you're in a marriage that is abusive, I would pray for the person doing the abusing that God will work on their heart and convict them of that. Marriage is truly a life long commitment you take before God and your family and friends. You're telling the world that I take this man/woman in everything he or she has to offer, whether it be good, or bad, good times, bad times, sickness, and in health. But anyone who abuses their husband or wife, I'm curious as to whether they have accepted Christ into their life or not. I know it's not my place to judge, but the word teaches me to test not only the spirits, but also to test the fruits of other believers. Jesus said, "A good tree cannot give bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot give good fruit." And Paul said in Romans 12 : 2, "Do not be conformed to this world ; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your MIND, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." I have to believe that people who abuse their spouses aren't doing it soley because they want control or power, but because their mind is in an ill form. But Christ transforms the mind, and if you are being abused by your spouse, first and foremost seek God, secondly pray for your spouse to come to know Christ, cause I promise you, if a person be in Christ, he is a new creature, and will not display those kind of mannerisms, verbal or abusive.