I did not read all of the posts here but wanted to share something I experienced for about 3 months. I had a close friendship with a believer who had Aspergers. He was a brilliant man and we had a deep close bond. He never told me he had asperger's but I ran it by several friends and people to confirm this is what was going on. Our relationship began to get serious and romantic, and he and I started asking God about it, and one day I had to confront some things about our relationship, and our relationship suddenly ended.
Moral of the story: Aspergers men can love very deeply but then can cut you off instantly, for months without even realizing they are doing it. EVen confronting in love and gently about this fact does not help. It makes them put you in a compartment in their mind and they come out when they are ready. But the tie you have with them, continues and lingers. It is a quite painful experience, and even though we were about to become serious and we did not go into the romantic phase, I still think about him. But, I realized even a friendship with him was a painful experience. It can become a vicious cycle and something that is quite painful to live with. This man even knew he did this and called it 'going into his turtle shell'. God showed me that this man also had several women friends and because of the loving and caring way he related to them and me, all of these women, fell in love with him. But the pain of his abandoning behavior was so awful that I told him I could not even have a friendship with him. Moral of the story, God may be protecting you. Also, even in friendships with men, soul ties can develop. This was a lesson for me, to not even start friendships with men unless we know where they are in their walk with the Lord. ps. it's almost impossible to be a friend if there has been romantic ties to the relationship. GBU. Hope this helps. I think you are being protected!
Your post has really helped me. I feel somewhat misunderstood on here and I am trying to do the right thing but feel I am being condemned somewhat.
What you are saying regarding the Aspergers rings true. I communicated with him for emotional support and asked him for prayers because of what I was going through at the time and he was very caring and sensitive not to mention his intelligence and integrity. How could you not fall for a guy like that? Seems like the ideal mate but then again you know what they say about too good to be true. But it doesn't matter how wonderful he is or isn't because I am not free to pursue a relationship with anyone.
I don't have any male friends and I don't want any. I made an exception in that instance but it was a mistake. I'm trying to forget about him because it is slightly tormenting and he isn't going to help me in my life anyways. Not any real practical help. He is a stumbling block to me so he has to be removed.
I would agree with you stating I am being protected. God always protects me. Even from myself at times.
This is not related but I can tell you a story that is so unusual yet shows to what degree God protects me. But first maybe I should add how I was even protected in childhood from death many times.
When I was growing up I had grandparents that lived in a coal mining town that was in a valley with slack on the upper outskirts. The coal dust would obviously blow into the valley and you couldn't even hang out laundry because it would end up being covered in coal dust. I have asthma and my parent's would still go there with me for visits that lasted upwards of 3 days or so. I got very sick every time and had to go to the ER in a small town which is not very adequate like a big city would be. I also had such a bad asthma attack one time when I was little that I actually passed out. To have survived many of those incidents in my childhood is a miracle in itself.
Also I had pneumonia when I was about 6 years old and had to be in the hospital in one of those tents. Having asthma and pneumonia is not a very good combination. But I got better so again I was sustained. People die of pneumonia so having asthma and going through that at such a young age is a miracle I survived it.
But now for the story of protection that is seemingly unbelievable but very true at the same time. My first husband was a very evil and abusive individual. Even after I divorced he still would try to come around and stir up trouble. The one time in question that I am referring to happened after I was remarried to my current husband. He was trying to get visitation rights to his daughter even though he never cared about her or voluntarily contributed to her support her whole life. Along with him coming from a very evil family of origin with molestation happening with his father and sister and who knows what else plus the fact that he is very evil and deranged himself I felt it my right to protect my daughter from him so that is exactly what I did. I don't know why he showed up after years but he probably just wanted to exert his pretend power and control and cause trouble and possibly get the court ordered child support payment reduced even though he never paid it voluntarily and it was referred to maintenance enforcement.
Without babbling on forever here is the part where the protection comes in. Unknown to me he had been trying to cause me trouble for a while but every lawyer he retained ended up dying on him, literally. This just didn't happen once but more than once so that is what made it strange and unbelievable. I don't remember who told me this because it was a long time ago, perhaps it was the lawyer I had to get to fight him but when I did finally meet my ex-husband and his lawyer his lawyer confirmed that this was the case. Now this is what I call protection. My ex-husband never got what he wanted and it never went to court and I never saw him again face to face, thank God. I had a lawyer's fee to pay but that was it.
So in this case God probably is protecting me from this friend in question and from myself to some degree. I am a very sensitive person and I don't really need my life to be more complicated than it is. I try to keep things simple and do what I am supposed to do and keep my nose clean. I think this also was a form of a test to see if I would cave in and do the wrong thing.
But for the sake of argument let's just say I was free. I really don't want a man who has all these women friends. That is a red flag for me and I would probably not be able to trust that person and all the jealous bones in my body would be crying out for vengeance. That just wouldn't work for me. Actually, the man in question stated to me that he doesn't have any close women friends but then again I met him online whilst doing theological videos and people, on the internet especially, have been known to lie so you never really know who you are dealing with.
All I know is that I really don't want to be involved in a love triangle which for some reason reminds me of the Bermuda Triangle which is not a very good situation to be in. Being friends with this man in question and getting too close is nothing more than a trap set by the devil it would seem. If I am wrong only time will tell but I will not do anything ultimately in the end of which I know God does not want me to do.
And I'm sure that God will continue to sustain me and protect me like he has always done my entire life even as a small child. I just have to trust that God knows what is best for me and if I get off the path he will correct me and protect me from any outside influences that are not of him.
So I need to behave myself and get my nose to the grindstone. I have lots of work to do. In time I hope the memory of this person fades. Unless I'm meant to be with him at some time in the future I really don't want him in my head. And if it is like anything you are describing then to be honest even if I am available I really don't want a guy like that. It is not worth all the pain and heartache. I prefer committed and stuck like glue. Not wishy washy and hot and cold. I actually consider that a form of abuse and this abandoning and playing games actually reminds me somewhat of something a narcissist would do. Not a good sign at all. Very big red flag means very big trouble.
Thank you for your comment and effort to understand. And you have helped me out tremendously. You have done your good deed for the day.