While I don't truly understand stand your motives, OP, I can certainly answer one of your questions.
Yes. We are commanded to love you as we love ourselves. Unconditionally. Jesus did command this. So I will not cast stones.
I feel like maybe... maybe you've been hurt by religion, or hurt by the church in the past, or maybe it's more indirect than that.
Just remember that God transcends anything any mere mortal says to you.