Hello, Valiant,
You are right when you say the following, and it is in this sense that terms like Theotokos and God's "mother" are correct:
One need not draw any further, incorrect inferences from this, like Mary creating Jesus' soul before she was born or something. I am confident that you and I are on the same page in terms of
substance. This is only an issue of terminology. I am sure that Catholic doctrine has tons of problems, however simply calling her God's "mother" is not a problem, since a mother is simply someone who gives birth. And Mary gave birth to Jesus, who was God.
One of your main objections was that Mary did not conceive Jesus and only bore Him. However, Isaiah prophesied of Jesus:
King James Bible
"Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel." (Is. 7:14)
So in the sense of conceiving Jesus
in the flesh, Mary was the "mother" of that physical process, and one need not draw any extra, incorrect inferences about that term that neither I nor you agree with.
I think you are making a good point that the Church fathers who chose the creeds and the books of the Bible preferred the term Theotokos and it gives a good picture that Mary was God's mother in the physical birth process. But the Church fathers also used the term Theometor* - literally God's mother, and that term does not necessarily mean anything different than Theotokos does. All that is required is the clarification of the term "God's mother" reflecting the relationship between the Virgin Mary and Jesus that you and I see.
*(Source: Etymology and Usage:
Theotokos - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, "found in patristic and liturgical texts")
The fact that a term could be misunderstood does not mean a term is incorrect. Non-Christians could easily misunderstand what we mean by our terms (eg. "lamb of God") and draw incorrect inferences from them, and it's merely a matter of clearing up what we mean.