Communication
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E
you know, I also posted the following which you overlooked in favor of deciding you know more about me than I do
so go...let's have a serious discussion...I was at the top of my class in the courses I took on communication...
no need to get so snarky
post 32
so go...let's have a serious discussion...I was at the top of my class in the courses I took on communication...
no need to get so snarky
back on track...sorry
Originally Posted by like-minded66
Thanks for the replies. I'm hoping to get some serious discussion going on about this because bad communication is a bigger problem than we may realize - it contributes to so many of our societal ills.
Thanks for pointing that out coby - the gospel is able to spread rapidly now, which is a reason why I think the Lord is 'very' soon to return.
Yes ember, good communication involves listening. Also, being able to effectively communicate yourself. So many people really struggle with articulating and communicating their thoughts. There's also speech pathologies. I think balanced communication is being able to effectively articulate your thoughts AND being able to effectively listen in dialogue.
Has anyone ever heard of the Whole Message method? Very effective.
Thanks for the replies. I'm hoping to get some serious discussion going on about this because bad communication is a bigger problem than we may realize - it contributes to so many of our societal ills.
Thanks for pointing that out coby - the gospel is able to spread rapidly now, which is a reason why I think the Lord is 'very' soon to return.
Yes ember, good communication involves listening. Also, being able to effectively communicate yourself. So many people really struggle with articulating and communicating their thoughts. There's also speech pathologies. I think balanced communication is being able to effectively articulate your thoughts AND being able to effectively listen in dialogue.
Has anyone ever heard of the Whole Message method? Very effective.
The only thing that probably hurts is the truth.
What would you call all of the posts that you and your friends did...and how do those posts relate to what I said in my first post?
It turned into foolishness. Also its called thread jacking. You admitted to it yourself.
If you want to say and do those things, you should create your own thread to do that instead of jacking someone else's.
I started out wanting a serious thread so if that's not what you want, why try to make it otherwise?
What would you call all of the posts that you and your friends did...and how do those posts relate to what I said in my first post?
It turned into foolishness. Also its called thread jacking. You admitted to it yourself.
If you want to say and do those things, you should create your own thread to do that instead of jacking someone else's.
I started out wanting a serious thread so if that's not what you want, why try to make it otherwise?
E
all right...tell you what
the next time I make my toast, I will burn it and eat it that way in contrition
I said I was sorry...
all my friends? they are Christians and so am I
guess you would rather hit me with noodles then get on with it
check my posts...I'm plenty serious...and I'm serious now
you might please check your attitude also while you are at
when someone says sorry to me, I accept that and continue
done
the next time I make my toast, I will burn it and eat it that way in contrition
I said I was sorry...
all my friends? they are Christians and so am I
guess you would rather hit me with noodles then get on with it
check my posts...I'm plenty serious...and I'm serious now
you might please check your attitude also while you are at
when someone says sorry to me, I accept that and continue
done
A
It's lack of respect or caring what others need and focusing on what makes us happy instead of listening and responding in a manner that shows we truly care about the person we are talking too.
Online makes it harder for true concern to come through and easier for people to be rude and not notice they are offending someone. They can't see the grown.
But I tend to skim through the jokes...like when kids are making faces while people are talking.,,if they are yours and you love them, you can tell them to stop. If they arent, then you just move the conversation to another room.
But back on track...what is the whole method?
Online makes it harder for true concern to come through and easier for people to be rude and not notice they are offending someone. They can't see the grown.
But I tend to skim through the jokes...like when kids are making faces while people are talking.,,if they are yours and you love them, you can tell them to stop. If they arent, then you just move the conversation to another room.
But back on track...what is the whole method?
Whole message communication makes sure that your thoughts are communicated fully and assertively.
- first saying a true and positive statement to the person you're talking to
- then stating what you notice the other person is doing
- then stating what you feel/perceive when the person does it
- then saying what you need from the person
- lastly following it up with another true and positive statement or reiterating what you said at first
i.e.
You're really good at tip-toeing around in the mornings and I appreciate you being mindful to not wake me up.
I can, though, hear the music from your ear buds and its hard for me to fall back to sleep once I'm up.
I get annoyed and I find myself being irritable because I didn't get enough sleep.
I know music gets you going in the morning but could you not turn the volume up so loud?
(other person says) 'Oh...I'm sorry!' (you say) "I know you didn't know, its ok
I really appreciate how you're mindful of my sleep."
Instead of...
"You know I really need my sleep...the music is BLASTING through your ear buds...can you please turn that music down?!"
Or letting them know through subtle, passive aggressive ways instead of confronting them about it.
Or not saying anything at all and just getting angrier and angrier at the person until you explode.
- first saying a true and positive statement to the person you're talking to
- then stating what you notice the other person is doing
- then stating what you feel/perceive when the person does it
- then saying what you need from the person
- lastly following it up with another true and positive statement or reiterating what you said at first
i.e.
You're really good at tip-toeing around in the mornings and I appreciate you being mindful to not wake me up.
I can, though, hear the music from your ear buds and its hard for me to fall back to sleep once I'm up.
I get annoyed and I find myself being irritable because I didn't get enough sleep.
I know music gets you going in the morning but could you not turn the volume up so loud?
(other person says) 'Oh...I'm sorry!' (you say) "I know you didn't know, its ok
I really appreciate how you're mindful of my sleep."Instead of...
"
You know I really need my sleep...the music is BLASTING through your ear buds...can you please turn that music down?!"Or letting them know through subtle, passive aggressive ways instead of confronting them about it.
Or not saying anything at all and just getting angrier and angrier at the person until you explode.
D
Whole message communication makes sure that your thoughts are communicated fully and assertively.
- first saying a true and positive statement to the person you're talking to
- then stating what you notice the other person is doing
- then stating what you feel/perceive when the person does it
- then saying what you need from the person
- lastly following it up with another true and positive statement or reiterating what you said at first
i.e.
You're really good at tip-toeing around in the mornings and I appreciate you being mindful to not wake me up.
I can, though, hear the music from your ear buds and its hard for me to fall back to sleep once I'm up.
I get annoyed and I find myself being irritable because I didn't get enough sleep.
I know music gets you going in the morning but could you not turn the volume up so loud?
(other person says) 'Oh...I'm sorry!' (you say) "I know you didn't know, its ok I really appreciate how you're mindful of my sleep."
Instead of...
"You know I really need my sleep...the music is BLASTING through your ear buds...can you please turn that music down?!"
Or letting them know through subtle, passive aggressive ways instead of confronting them about it.
Or not saying anything at all and just getting angrier and angrier at the person until you explode.
- first saying a true and positive statement to the person you're talking to
- then stating what you notice the other person is doing
- then stating what you feel/perceive when the person does it
- then saying what you need from the person
- lastly following it up with another true and positive statement or reiterating what you said at first
i.e.
You're really good at tip-toeing around in the mornings and I appreciate you being mindful to not wake me up.
I can, though, hear the music from your ear buds and its hard for me to fall back to sleep once I'm up.
I get annoyed and I find myself being irritable because I didn't get enough sleep.
I know music gets you going in the morning but could you not turn the volume up so loud?
(other person says) 'Oh...I'm sorry!' (you say) "I know you didn't know, its ok
I really appreciate how you're mindful of my sleep."Instead of...
"
You know I really need my sleep...the music is BLASTING through your ear buds...can you please turn that music down?!"Or letting them know through subtle, passive aggressive ways instead of confronting them about it.
Or not saying anything at all and just getting angrier and angrier at the person until you explode.
Except the way I was taught it goes faster and something is different, but I'm not picking up what. So, if you can tell me what I'm missing, I can at least figure out what that missing part is to see if it might help more if I use it.
The method I learned was
1. Say something positive about the person in relationship to what you're about to request.
2. State the problem as it affects you and what it feels like.
3. Ask for what you want.
4. Negotiate.
5. End with something positive.
Example.
1. I love watching you with your cats. You obviously love them and they trust you implicitly, which is saying a lot considering cats are picky who they'll love.
2. One of your cats is in heat though, and the toms have been yowling most of the day and night. I keep thinking I'm hearing a hurt child, which freaks me out, until I realize what it really is. After a while the noise unhinges me.
3. Is there anything you can do to stop that?
4. And I'm really asking because I know you know more about cats in heat than I do. Does keeping your cat inside the entire time she is in heat stop the toms from "calling?"
5. Thank you for helping with this problem. I really do love seeing your cats protecting the neighborhood and I see how much you'll do for yours. What are their names?
Are the two the same method, or is there a difference? I'm thinking if we can compare them, it might streamline more. Or they might just be the same thing and I'm not catching they are.
One thing I noticed missing from the compendium of your original post is how impatient people have become with the advent of this digital age. Remember when a letter would maybe take a week to reach the destination? And then you would have to maybe wait another week before you heard back? There was a lot of time allowed to pass between ideas exchanged, which generated a more fertile ground for things to grow, being solidly rooted and pondered, percolating through the psyche. Now people instant message, and if they do not get a response in seconds or minutes it is a catastrophe, a slight, something is wrong, what is going on, what is the matter, did I do something wrong, did something bad happen to the other person? It isn't just this instant gratification in messaging but in other areas of business also. People seem to think that because things are done digitally that they can get their results unreasonably fast and effortlessly and they should therefore not have to pay as much. People's unrealistic expectations have skyrocketed. Were people always like this, being so unrealistic and unreasonable? LOL. Maybe! I have had people come into where I work when I was overloaded with orders to do, and they thought they could just wait for theirs to be done, presto, it'll only take a few minutes right? As if I had nothing else to do.
Another thing I notice about digital communications is how easily ideas are skewed; sometimes it even looks to be deliberate, and it is often subtle, but even when it is a gross misrepresentation, the person doing it will rarely take responsibility for it, even when the proof is staring them in the face. It boggles my mind
Another thing I notice about digital communications is how easily ideas are skewed; sometimes it even looks to be deliberate, and it is often subtle, but even when it is a gross misrepresentation, the person doing it will rarely take responsibility for it, even when the proof is staring them in the face. It boggles my mind
K
I have both. I have meaningful face to face conversations with my family, and I come on here. Without texting online I wouldn't be able to reach people all over the world with the truth. I think it's disrespectful to talk or text on your phone when someone is trying to have a face to face conversation with you. There's a time and place for everything, but I don't think technology is bad (yet). I do think that in the future, Lord willing the world lasts that long, that it will be used for great evils against mankind.