Communication

[like-minded66]

Remember when people were comfortable talking face to face?

Remember when you had the phone in the kitchen with the looooong extension cord?

Remember pay phones?

Remember paper rolodexes?

Remember having to remember someones # to call them?

Remember when you had to actually talk to communicate your thoughts, instead of texting, emailing, IM'ing, emoticons etc.?

I wanted to start this thread to get us talking about how communication has changed for the worst...and the better...and how this tipping point in communication is reflective in our biblical worldview.

Thoughts?

I personally believe that this progressive and convenient shift in communication opens up HUGE opportunity for problems and these problems can only get worst fast. SO MANY of the problems that we see in our society are in some way or another associated with bad communication.

Also, questions I would like generate are: What is good communication? And what is bad communication?

 

[ember]

Good communication is first of all, LISTENING to the other person

Bad communication, is hardly being able to contain yourself till the other person finishes so you can have your say


That's really it in a nutshell...but far from the 'real' discussion

 

[coby]

Yes it's bad. I leave my phone at home now.
I can't even answer this question normally, just wanted to only post that pic I just saw on Facebook lol.
On the other hand you can come in contact with people very easy and share the gospel. It's very addictive though.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PcZsI-wAenU

 

[Grace777x70]

""Yes dear".....

Good communication is first of all, LISTENING to the other person

Bad communication, is hardly being able to contain yourself till the other person finishes so you can have your say


That's really it in a nutshell...but far from the 'real' discussion

 

[ember]

""Yes dear".....

LOL! Don't you start with me again!

I had an aunt that used to say "You have two ears. One to take it in and the other to let it out"

Another avoidance tool, is to seem like you are paying rapt attention and then go "what?"...guaranteed to frustrate
the other person to the point they might walk away...and then you can go back to watching the x-files.

 

[coby]

Good communication is first of all, LISTENING to the other person

Bad communication, is hardly being able to contain yourself till the other person finishes so you can have your say


That's really it in a nutshell...but far from the 'real' discussion

Lol I tend to talk through people. Hahaha my ex calls to say something and he hasn't even finished or I just talk straight through it and he says please can you first listen?
On forums you can just do that and noone notices it.
I mean think of it. Irl a few people are having a serious conversation, standing in a circle and you just bump in without even knowing them with a joke or something. I'd never even consider doing that. On internet you just bump in or quote someone. Maybe that's why I love it. It's so boring when people don't even hear you and keep on talking.

 

[Depleted]

I have one landline. True, it is wireless now, but it's no cell phone. I do have a cell phone, but have to read directions to work it, and won't work it because it cost a quarter every time I use it, and I haven't had to use it in the last three months. (Lots of emergencies in my life in the last few months, plus needing taxis, plus a 19-inch snowstorm in there, so it is still doable without a cell phone.)

I have never learned how to text, but I've found myself looking over sibling's shoulders to see what they're doing with their gadgets ans gizmos. I don't even know which gadgets or gizmos they're using. (Is it a cell phone? A tablet? A Pod? A bluetooth or blackberry? No idea other then they come in different sizes, they all have screens, everyone is working their thumb muscles right on the screen -- and how do you keep those screens clean with that many thumbprints? I know this is funny, but I honestly don't know this stuff. lol) I have developed an instinct to know the difference between talking to someone and knowing their mind isn't on us but on that gizmo. I'm the same way with my desktop, so can't fault them for that.

I have an address book for phone numbers. No, a real one -- paper in a binder -- but most of the info has been scribbled out and shoved in so often, it's rather useless. They used to sell refills. They don't anymore, so I'm going further back to an index box and cards. (Next nighttime project, after finishing up current project.)

I have a computer, but what if it dies? Am I supposed to tell people, "Sorry, I haven't called, but your phone number got stuck in a dead harddrive, so I didn't know it anymore."

The one thing I don't like about modern "conveniences" is they AREN'T convenient. They're more work. Exactly why is it important to call someone to tell them you're walking up a street/in the grocery store/at the checkout line/in the parking lot walking to your car/waiting at the doctor's office? I hear these "important phone calls" all day. Is it really important to have someone know you're every movement? Why in the world would they care? Should I notify someone if I'm taking a dump too? Ut-oh! Do people do that?

Used to be "call a cab." Now when calling you have to wait a minute to learn "there's an app for that." Really? Think I might just want to call? If there is an app for that, how do I know when my request gets through? I've waited up to an hour to get through on major holidays. Are apps faster than phone? I doubt it.

I just had a major blow out with the phone company. First, it seems no one believes me that I only use this one phone. Second, they promised me they'd switch me, but how do I know they switched me if the only sign is no one is calling for a while? All I wanted them to do is CALL ME before they switched. No can do!

Why not? Because the phone company has different departments and only use emails. The phone company cannot use their PHONES to call someone in THE PHONE COMPANY! But, they sure can put you on hold. And any time you call them, you must push about 10 numbers to finally find a real person to talk to, but that doesn't mean that person understand anything about how their company works. How can they? They cant use the phone to ask anyone!

The problem is everyone is really up on the latest gizmo or gadget, but forget to think over the obvious question, "Does it improve the quality of your life?"

For the life of me, I will never see why calling someone to tell them you're doing something perfectly routine adds quality.

 

[BeyondET]

the old days, I agree with a lot you mentioned but on the other hand we wouldn't be having this conversation if we haven't advanced in technology some have been good some not but in life God would like for to advanced too not only in spirit but in conversation also.

 

[HeRoseFromTheDead]

Lol I tend to talk through people. Hahaha my ex calls to say something and he hasn't even finished or I just talk straight through it and he says please can you first listen?
On forums you can just do that and noone notices it.
I mean think of it. Irl a few people are having a serious conversation, standing in a circle and you just bump in without even knowing them with a joke or something. I'd never even consider doing that. On internet you just bump in or quote someone. Maybe that's why I love it. It's so boring when people don't even hear you and keep on talking.

He just needs to ignore what you said and repeat what he said. Rinse and repeat. Eventually you'll get the message.

 

[Grace777x70]

pardon me...what was that you said?....

LOL! Don't you start with me again!

I had an aunt that used to say "You have two ears. One to take it in and the other to let it out"

Another avoidance tool, is to seem like you are paying rapt attention and then go "what?"...guaranteed to frustrate
the other person to the point they might walk away...and then you can go back to watching the x-files.

 

[coby]

LOL! Don't you start with me again!

I had an aunt that used to say "You have two ears. One to take it in and the other to let it out"

Another avoidance tool, is to seem like you are paying rapt attention and then go "what?"...guaranteed to frustrate
the other person to the point they might walk away...and then you can go back to watching the x-files.

.........

 

[coby]

He just needs to ignore what you said and repeat what he said. Rinse and repeat. Eventually you'll get the message.

They tend to forget what they wanted to say when I talk through it hahahahaha. There's no ignore button irl.

 

[like-minded66]

Thanks for the replies. I'm hoping to get some serious discussion going on about this because bad communication is a bigger problem than we may realize - it contributes to so many of our societal ills.

Thanks for pointing that out coby - the gospel is able to spread rapidly now, which is a reason why I think the Lord is 'very' soon to return.

Yes ember, good communication involves listening. Also, being able to effectively communicate yourself. So many people really struggle with articulating and communicating their thoughts. There's also speech pathologies. I think balanced communication is being able to effectively articulate your thoughts AND being able to effectively listen in dialogue.

Has anyone ever heard of the Whole Message method? Very effective.

 

[Depleted]

the old days, I agree with a lot you mentioned but on the other hand we wouldn't be having this conversation if we haven't advanced in technology some have been good some not but in life God would like for to advanced too not only in spirit but in conversation also.

Ha! Everything like-minded mentioned was around when AOL and Compuserve were big. They had chat rooms and forums. lol

(Not saying I've been "cyberspace addicted" for too long or anything.

)

 

[Depleted]

Thanks for the replies. I'm hoping to get some serious discussion going on about this because bad communication is a bigger problem than we may realize - it contributes to so many of our societal ills.

Thanks for pointing that out coby - the gospel is able to spread rapidly now, which is a reason why I think the Lord is 'very' soon to return.

Yes ember, good communication involves listening. Also, being able to effectively communicate yourself. So many people really struggle with articulating and communicating their thoughts. There's also speech pathologies. I think balanced communication is being able to effectively articulate your thoughts AND being able to effectively listen in dialogue.

Has anyone ever heard of the Whole Message method? Very effective.

I'm still on a desktop and don't use a cell phone. I suspect I'm still on "old message."

 

[ember]

this thread just became all too real for me

I had to change the psswd on my wi-fi and I forgot it...just got the wi-fi a wk or so ago and mumbled something about just putting in a simple psswd and change later

forgot to do that cause I was pigging out on all the good web stuff I've been missing

so, downloaded Avast...my armor online...and it goes: weak wifi psswd change now or hackers will love you

THAT'S when I remembered I forgot my psswd

So, just been on the phone with the tech and after a big go-round, I'm back and Avast is happy

how do you spell DISCONNECT?

apparently I have hard time talking to myself....

putting on my flak jacket and helmet now...ok go!

 

[like-minded66]

I have one landline. True, it is wireless now, but it's no cell phone. I do have a cell phone, but have to read directions to work it, and won't work it because it cost a quarter every time I use it, and I haven't had to use it in the last three months. (Lots of emergencies in my life in the last few months, plus needing taxis, plus a 19-inch snowstorm in there, so it is still doable without a cell phone.)

I have never learned how to text, but I've found myself looking over sibling's shoulders to see what they're doing with their gadgets ans gizmos. I don't even know which gadgets or gizmos they're using. (Is it a cell phone? A tablet? A Pod? A bluetooth or blackberry? No idea other then they come in different sizes, they all have screens, everyone is working their thumb muscles right on the screen -- and how do you keep those screens clean with that many thumbprints? I know this is funny, but I honestly don't know this stuff. lol) I have developed an instinct to know the difference between talking to someone and knowing their mind isn't on us but on that gizmo. I'm the same way with my desktop, so can't fault them for that.

I have an address book for phone numbers. No, a real one -- paper in a binder -- but most of the info has been scribbled out and shoved in so often, it's rather useless. They used to sell refills. They don't anymore, so I'm going further back to an index box and cards. (Next nighttime project, after finishing up current project.)

I have a computer, but what if it dies? Am I supposed to tell people, "Sorry, I haven't called, but your phone number got stuck in a dead harddrive, so I didn't know it anymore."

The one thing I don't like about modern "conveniences" is they AREN'T convenient. They're more work. Exactly why is it important to call someone to tell them you're walking up a street/in the grocery store/at the checkout line/in the parking lot walking to your car/waiting at the doctor's office? I hear these "important phone calls" all day. Is it really important to have someone know you're every movement? Why in the world would they care? Should I notify someone if I'm taking a dump too? Ut-oh! Do people do that?

Used to be "call a cab." Now when calling you have to wait a minute to learn "there's an app for that." Really? Think I might just want to call? If there is an app for that, how do I know when my request gets through? I've waited up to an hour to get through on major holidays. Are apps faster than phone? I doubt it.

I just had a major blow out with the phone company. First, it seems no one believes me that I only use this one phone. Second, they promised me they'd switch me, but how do I know they switched me if the only sign is no one is calling for a while? All I wanted them to do is CALL ME before they switched. No can do!

Why not? Because the phone company has different departments and only use emails. The phone company cannot use their PHONES to call someone in THE PHONE COMPANY! But, they sure can put you on hold. And any time you call them, you must push about 10 numbers to finally find a real person to talk to, but that doesn't mean that person understand anything about how their company works. How can they? They cant use the phone to ask anyone!

The problem is everyone is really up on the latest gizmo or gadget, but forget to think over the obvious question, "Does it improve the quality of your life?"

For the life of me, I will never see why calling someone to tell them you're doing something perfectly routine adds quality.

Thanks Depleted. This is one of the huge problems in our society now a days... you have to 'manage' relationships... how can anyone manage anything when we're so accessible to everyone at any given time... so, we grow exhausted and give up trying to manage it all... people take things so personal now a days... and voila! you have recipe for disaster. Everyone that I know, including myself, is sick and tired of trying to manage all of the text, emails, IMs, vms, that come at them...it's killing us to keep up with it all...and now we have to manage messages on Facebook and social media?? Is there a wonder why there's so many issues amongst people?

 

[ember]

Lol I tend to talk through people. Hahaha my ex calls to say something and he hasn't even finished or I just talk straight through it and he says please can you first listen?
On forums you can just do that and noone notices it.
I mean think of it. Irl a few people are having a serious conversation, standing in a circle and you just bump in without even knowing them with a joke or something. I'd never even consider doing that. On internet you just bump in or quote someone. Maybe that's why I love it. It's so boring when people don't even hear you and keep on talking.

mheh...my husband does that...I can't draw a breath or he will jump in! then he goes 'oh sorry I thought you were finished'
which is why I do the whaaaa? thing sometimes and will do it several times till he catches on...hahaha...I'm so mean

sometimes I just wanna go from thread to thread in the Bile...er Bible forum and insert comedic memes (I really like those)
cause everyone is life and death serious and I mean ITS A FORUM..I'm already on the blacklist of several peoples here and there are a few threads this am that could really use an injection of get a life..

 

[ember]

View attachment 144903
.........

if I could make that face, I could get people to run away...that would work sometimes hahahaha

 

[ember]

pardon me...what was that you said?....

yeah

only it's more effective if you are not so polite...that Canadian thing again

just go 'whaaaaaa?' and look startled