I grew up believing masturbation was disgusting and it could condemn me to hell. For I went to a church that preached a very high standard of righteous living. I simply became consumed by masturbation. The dirtier I felt at committing the act, the more of a pull to masturbate. I became consumed by it.
I gave up with God for a while believing I was too rotten and dirty to be a Christian
Fortunatley for me a few years later I read a book and learnt of grace. I learnt I was secure with God because Christ died for me. He was the only righteousness I had before God. I didn't have to be good enough or fear being cast into hell. So I got down on my knees and asked God to deal with the masturbation and trusted him to deal with it. I stood on a righteousness of faith in Christ. It wasnt easy, for the next three days I continued masturbating. A voice inside my head kept telling me I could not be a Christian and commit such an act, but for the first time in my life I did not listen, I clung to Jesus, trusting he was my right standing before God. Four days later, the masturbation which had consumed me for six years stopped. As Paul said:
For sin shall not be your master, for you are not under law(a righteousness of obedience to the law) but under grace(through faith in Christ.) rom 6:14