This statement of yours is unfair and a little inflammatory as well. Let me explain.
I've been a Christian for many many years. I've heard a lot of testimonies that went like this, "I was raised in XYZ church but I never really heard about/understood/believed in the work of Jesus until I began to go to church ABC." In other words, there are people raised Baptist, for example, that don't really come to know Jesus until they begin to attend a Pentecostal church. Then, the tendency is to look back at the original church to criticize it. "Oooh those Baptist churches are so dry and lacking in the Spirit! I never understood how to live in the Spirit until I left their limited view and became Pentecostal."
Now, I'd be willing to bet that the person had plenty of opportunities to learn about living in the Spirit while they were Baptist, but for some reason it just didn't connect.
By the same token, I think there are lots of Catholics that don't hear the clear message of salvation presented every single week in the Roman Catholic Mass. Trust me, it's totally there. Every week during the Mass we say, "Lord, I am unworthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed." Every week we have an opportunity to repent of sin, we hear readings from the Psalms, OT, NT epistles, and the Gospel. We say the Nicene Creed every week. Seriously, Every. Single. Week. (Cradle Catholics, btw, have to memorize the Our Father, the Nicene Creed, and other prayers). Every week we are reminded about the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. Every week we take communion to participate in this. Every week at the end of every mass we are told to "Go in peace to love AND SERVE the Lord," so we're reminded we need to live out our faith. It's there every single week. I know I am very aware of what I'm saying when I'm in Mass.
I can't explain why some hear and get it and some don't. I can speculate that some maybe disconnect and numb out because it is familiar. Then, when they're in an unfamiliar environment (such as a different sort of church) they suddenly seem to hear it for the first time. I do know from my own experience as a teacher that students have said to me, "You never told us blahblahblah," when I've actually told them, written it on the board, and had them write it on their assignment sheets.
So, while I totally believe your reporting regarding your interactions with Catholics, I'm not sure that the church is to blame. There are simply to many other possible variables. For example, what if these folks identify as Catholics but never were regular attenders? Or what if they were part of the RCC, but their parents didn't really live out an active faith? Or what if they were part of the RCC but their families were abusive? Or what if they were part of the RCC, but they weren't particularly attentive or submissive to the teachings? A lot goes in to shaping what we believe about God. More than just what a particular church might teach. (For example, I've known atheists who were raised in church, but had such chaotic families that they simply presumed that all this "Jesus stuff" is hypocritical and untrue).
Also (and this is no attempt to diminish your experiences), while you've had these experiences with many Catholics, the numbers aren't statistically valid for drawing large conclusions about the church as a whole. There are over 1 billion Catholics. Even if you'd encountered 10,000 Catholics in the situation you describe, that would still only represent 1/100,000ths of all Catholics. So, numbers like that might represent problems within a local parish (if the people were all from the same area), but not the church as a whole.
I know I've observed some really kooky charismatics during my time as a Christian. However 1/4 of all Christians self-identify as "charismatic," so it would be inappropriate of me to presume that "Charismatics are kooky" considering the (actual) small numbers of kooks I've encountered.
So far as "blaming the victim" goes, when it comes to us being spiritually responsible for ourselves, NONE of us are victims. If people resist the clearly available grace of Christ in all its forms, they are to blame. The bible says that even nature reveals God to us, so no man has an excuse.
