But HOW can a man obey Him if anger in our heart is murder??
Isn't it if you have HATE in your heart that it is as murder?
And the Bible does say to be angry but sin not (Ephesians 4:4?)
And Jesus talks about confronting those who sin against us (Matthew 18). It's okay to confront. In fact, we help the offender when we confront them. The law even stipulated that we call out wrong doers
so we won't share in their guilt (Leviticus 19:19?). We have varying degrees to which each of us is to confront wrong doers. Through wisdom and prudence,
and a little fear, lol, we will know when, where, and how to confront those who are sinning against us.
This is a recovered rage-aholic talking here. Rage is what is forbidden. And you're prolly letting your anger, which is justified, build up until it spills out in sinful rage. I was healed (I remain humble about the situation) when I started realizing the
consequences for my sinful rage.
The consequences for the matters of the heart can be dealt with much easier and less painfully than matters of our actual outward behavior. Don't get on a guilt trip about the hidden things of the heart as if they are exactly like doing them outwardly. What makes them different from actually acting on them is the consequences are far easier to shoulder and deal with when the hatred, or whatever, is still a matter of the heart and has not been acted out yet. Ask any adulterer if that's true or not.
You have a wonderful, humble, honest spirit. The Lord can mold you. You're way ahead of things than most Christians in my honest opinion. Take heart.
By the way, I think you live with what is called a
narcissist. You have a very big burden to shoulder. Very, very big.
And forgive my haphazard scripture notations. I'm on lunch and don't have time to check the references, but I think they'll get you in the right area of scripture to find them yourself.