If only we would think about what we say before say it.
Read it before we post it and think about.
If only we could through the lens of our own eyes and see the other person.
For the last few weeks I have been in a state of limbo. Those of you who have read my posts know that a few weeks ago I was going to take a step back (thank you to those who pm’d me with kind thoughts and thanks and those who posted the same)
Last year I was referred to an ophthalmologist because of high pressure behind the eyes. This only happened because I went for an eye test because I started to have visual disturbances.
So I had the appointment last year. It was a harrowing experience, 5 hours of tests and drops. Eyes basically pulled apart.
I was diagnosed with a rare eye disorder that could lead to blindness.
The consultant wanted to start treatment. Life long treatment
I asked for a stay of execution to which he agreed.
So I got out of the hospital as quick as I could.
The follow up appointment was today, exactly one year to the day. It should have been 6 months ago.
But I got the curly finger a few weeks ago.
So for the last few weeks I have hardly slept.
Anticipating that today I was going to be told that I am going blind.
That was part of my reason to want to take a step back.
If I am going blind then no point being here anymore.
So today I had the appointment. It only lasted about half an hour.
We talked about therapy, and based on my research I asked various questions. Some he didn’t feel would help but sought the advice of a fellow consultant.
Then we had a really good chat.
I asked questions he answered, but then he answered questions that I never thought to ask.
To cut a long story short he reassured me that I wasn’t going blind, my eyes are healthy but what I have can lead to blindness if not treated and based on the results today he was happy to follow up in 6 months time. But for the rest of my life I will be under his care.
When I explained my worries and fears he said to me “In a sense it’s good that you are worried because I know you will keep your appointments but I just say to you that I don’t want you to be worried because that’s my job, if I get worried then treatment will start. So trust me to leave it up to me”
I left reassured, not going blind and don’t have aggressive glaucoma. Further more my understanding of him changed.
He was not a jobsworth employed by the NHS (I even offered to pay for private consultation but he said save your money because my service is the same)
So when I got home I have reflected.
Why did he not tell me last year what he told me today? Why did I not express to him last year what I did today?
Every day for the last year I have been waiting for the letter that I got a few weeks ago.
So I have come to conclusion today that there seems to be lack of communication.
If I had told him last year what I have been going through then he would have reassured me, but maybe I didn’t ask because I didn’t want the wrong answer.
If he had asked me last year if I had any questions then maybe I would have asked.
The reason being was because he was actually interested in me as a person.
Today he did, as he was doing his tests we talked about football.
So what is the point I am trying to make here?
Commication. That’s the key.
Try to understand where the person you are responding to is at. Try to respond in a way that you know the person will talk back.
Talk and discuss.
Ask for clarification If you don’t understand, explain what your thoughts are.
But please I implore us all love each other and build each other up in love.
Anyway my eyes are sore and dry after today’s events.
As I go to bed I’m gonna ask Jesus
Revelation 3:18
18 I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see.
Father bless you all.
Bill