I'm thankful for those of you who reminded me that I am not alone, of Christ's love and the forgiveness we can find in Him. I am disappointed that the tone of the thread turned quite negative multiple times. However, I understand that that is likely because of a passion to make sure that what you feel is Truth is spoken. At least, I really hope that's the case and it isn't a matter of being right.
Some of you alluded to beginning my mornings with prayer. I will say nothing against this! These are good ideas. I also have to tell you, however, that I have a closet shelf cluttered with journals I've barely used, and I've yet keep a new year's resolution. (In other words: I'm terrible at establishing habits, but I will certainly put forth effort).
Someone mentioned that I was being quite general about falling away from God periodically. I'm sorry for not being very thorough. The sin I struggle with, the thing that leads me away from God is apathy itself. After the apathy sets in, that is when I end up sinning by physical action.
It's also been suggested that perhaps I have not fully repented or submitted to God. I have felt what I believe to be godly sorrow. Broken, not from a feeling of being 'caught' or a fear of going to hell, but from realizing just how wonderful God is and how ugly my sin, all sin, is. Broken from realizing that God loves me even more than my physical father, and yet I had denied him, was angry at him, and even said hurtful things--and yet he loved me anyway. (I have a pretty awesome dad here on earth, so when I think about God loving me so much more than he does, it's a bit mind blowing).
I feel that I have repented, but as we all know, our emotions aren't always a good measure of things. This is certainly something to pray about.
Thank you again for all of the encouragement, the scriptural resources, and for taking the time to reply with your thoughts on the matter.