but if you are asking about my spiritual state at present, I don't mind answering that. I am struggling some currently, wavering some, down to my last 17.00. I've sold some things on ebay but they hold funds for the first 21 days after a sale. I'm applying for food stamps next week. They keep sending me a notice that they think I will qualify for help. I have no idea how they found me and determined that because I've never asked for help. But some help would be nice.
![Smile :) :)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
My mother and aunt have been trying to get me to apply for disability (hands have no cartilage left at all - autoimmune thing where my body thought there was a threat from my cartilage and so began eating it! Freaky, huh?) Anyway, it apparently takes about 2 years to get approved for disability, but the lawyer doesn't charge anything unless you get a settlement. The settlement comes because if/when you do get approved, they start it from your very first appeal to them, not from when they approve you. So I have had some wavering, but oddly, the worse my situation has slowly become, the better my spiritual state has become. He has answered a lot of my prayers regarding my wavering and mistrust.
But I cannot state that I WILL still struggle always with that wavering. He has answered my prayers with His strength so far, why doubt Him or say, well, yes, He has improved my spiritual state some but He probably won't make me even stronger in it? To me, that is the opposite of trust and would actually be working against myself.