Sometimes when I look at my life it causes me a great deal of grief to
see/acknowledge how much of it I allowed addiction to steal from me...
I rejected God and walked in rebellion and open defiance for many years.
I understand very well how sin took hold of me and would not let go.
So (oops, this is on people's pet peeves' lists) when people talk about
the cunning enemy of life in the 12 step programs, it is so easy for me
as a Christian now to translate that into an understanding of the power
of Satan, and how he/it drives people to do such regrettable things.
It would fill me with much despair if I could not believe that God
has some greater plan for me. Whatever comes of me and however
I can use my experiences to help others, all glory goes to God.
Truly I know and accept that without Him, I can do nothing good.
I understand, my sweet sister. The great accuser likes to remind us of our past. But remember how Jesus tells us in the Parable of the Vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16) how he is the one who called us at the time
he appointed. Our past should only be a reminder of how,
in spite of our weakness, God's grace is greater and delivered us from our weaknesses.
I'm not minimizing your grief. I was just sitting on my sofa this morning crying to the Lord about that very thing! Something reminded me of my past recently and it liked to devastate me. But then I was ministered to by God as I remembered that song, "What a friend we have in Jesus... all our sins and griefs to bear... what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer."
Jesus was acquainted with grief... he knows our sorrows and understands our hearts. And he can miraculously minister to us personally and take that grief away by reminding us that we are pure and holy in him, because of him. Nobody is more important than another to God. No matter if the Owner of the Vineyard called you in the morning of your life... the afternoon... or the evening... we can rejoice in the truth that
he called us and put his Spirit within us and made us his dear children. Praise God for his faithful love! He is worthy to receive all the glory!! And we all are blessed to receive HIM!!
I pray the Lord minister to your precious heart and take away your grief & sorrow. Love and grace to you, Magenta!
♥