it's kind of helpful to understand some of the history here.
there really is no such thing as 'calvanism' - all of his theological positions were written down earlier by Augustine, and all those things, Augustine wrote because he was arguing against what he saw as heresy. the so called 5 points? Calvin never wrote these. people arguing against Arian heresy did later, citing things Calvin had written.
specifically, the idea was present very early on among people that they were responsible for saving themselves - that their decisions, their works, their will, their individual contributions to living a life as a Christian were the things that made them saved. and the reaction of the orthodoxy was whoah there, slow your roll bro. it's God who saves, and Him alone - no one can boast; none of us deserve this, nobody is receiving this except by mercy, and God is God: hence sovereign.
so there is this idea of complete humility vs a kind of subtle humanistic pride happening, even though probably neither side is really trying to be wrong. and down the line it turns into a debate over how free our will really is, and one side accuses the other of alternately damning innocent babies or thinking themselves to be God's puppetmaster.
i rather think the reality is something in between that we are totally incapable as humans of understanding fully. and the physical world ought to be showing us this too, now that our knowledge of it has increased, because you look at a beam of light, and it acts like a particle, but turn your eyes away for a second, and it acts like a wave - it's really both, and it seems to make no sense at all, but it's obvious that it is actually reality. there are hundreds of very clear scriptures that tell us God sovereignly chooses who to save and brings it about, sometimes absolutely despite those peoples will. and there are hundreds of scriptures that tell us humans have free agency that we are culpable for.
it's a mystery and we should respect it. if i have to pick a side in an unresolvable theological issue? i am 100% always picking the one that gives God the most glory and me the least.