I definately think that the rising divorce rate is caused a lot by women not submitting to their husbands and husbands not fulling loving their wives as themselves. My mother was raised beliving it was the wife's duty to do whatever the husband said, go to whatever church he tells her to go to, make whatever he wants for dinner, do all the child rearing, all of the housework, and generally make it so when the husband comes home he doesn't have to lift a finger. In the end she became very depressed and is now an extreme alcoholic.
While I agree it's a wife's duty to obey and serve her husband, I don't think a husband who loves you fully would tell you what church you can go to, especially if you aren't getting the spiritual nurishment you need at the church he goes to (I became an atheist after my step-father dragged me to a church where I felt unwelcomed). I dont' think a loving husband would come home and sit on his butt and do nothing to help his wife, either, or not help with the children.
There is definately a balance. If your husband loves you completely as he loves himself, he's not going to ask you to do things that make you uncomfortable or are beyond you. Would he ask himself to do something that makes him uncomfortable or beyond his abilities? Probably not. But, more and more we are giving in to our lusts as a basis for marriage and men are not marrying wives who they could love as themselves, and women are not marrying men who they could happily submit to.
No marriage is perfect, but I got incredibly lucky in the husband I have. We make decisions together, he asks my opinions and input, especially on things I may have more experience or knowledge over, but ultimately the decision in the end is his own and I do my best to make it work out if it's not what I suggested or if he'd like to try something different. He never asks me to do something against my values, or that is uncomfortable to me, or is too hard for me. He helps me do housework that is difficult (like carrying the big laundry hamper down the stairs and to the laundry room). And in return, I cook him meals, help him with his own work, give him advice, and insight, and all my love. He doesn't insist on my submission, ever, because he doesn't have to. He loves me and treats me in a way that I want to be his helper, I want to please him.
I'm a very strong willed woman, very, very, very stubborn. I was raised by a stepfather who would pretend like he knew everything in the world, and would even tell you something that was completely wrong just so he could sound smart, and then ground you if you challenged him with factual evidence. He meant to make me submissive to men, but all he did was make me even more persistant to be "better" than men. In all my relationships I was always the one who "wore the pants", and I dated a lot of men who were very weak-willed. I almost married one just because he would do whatever I asked him to, and it seemed convienant to have that quality in a husband, but it just felt wrong. Then lo and behold, I go and marry a man who's just as stubborn and strong-willed as I am. He's intelligent, too. In order to make it easier for me to let him make the final decision when it's not what I think is right, I tell myself, "This man is intelligent, and I do not know everything in this world or what the outcomes will be. Letting him try something that I don't agree with may work, and if it doesn't, we'll know from then on that it doesn't work, and we'll try something different." By reminding myself that I DON'T know everything, and that there is nothing wrong from learning from mistakes, it makes it sooooo much easier to let him go left when I can see the restaurant on the right and not throttle him. Of course, he loves me enough not to throttle me when I stick my tongue out and say I TOLD YOU SO when we arrive at the restaurant on the right 30 minutes later
