6 Weeks before the wedding & now this...
- Thread starter soconfused2
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
C
It may seem like it until you actually do it... it's not gonna be easy... and you will hurt... but find a good support group... church... a psycologist... you CAN do it! And your life will improve so much more after you are free of this burden...
Don't wait until you get married... don't wait until you feel the weight of his hand on your face...
Face this problem now and be free of it as soon as you possibly can... and if he goes after you, get a restraining order against him... take precautions... but leave him!!
You need to love yourself and your son first... think about how the Lord describes love... how He loves us!! Keep in mind how light and wonderful that is!!! That's how a husband should love his wife!! Like Jesus loved his church!!
Just keep that in mind always!!
Don't wait until you get married... don't wait until you feel the weight of his hand on your face...
Face this problem now and be free of it as soon as you possibly can... and if he goes after you, get a restraining order against him... take precautions... but leave him!!
You need to love yourself and your son first... think about how the Lord describes love... how He loves us!! Keep in mind how light and wonderful that is!!! That's how a husband should love his wife!! Like Jesus loved his church!!
Just keep that in mind always!!
Everyone gave you great words to follow. You keep defending your position or this man. I think you are a very needy woman to settle for so much less than the Lord has for you.
You want to find someone who will cherish you. While you are waiting, deepen your relationship with Jesus. Only he can and will renew and restore your spirit. Do not commit yourself to anyone who will treat you like this man has treated you. He is not ready to be a loving husband - needs some more work that only his prayer life with Christ will do. Find a man who loves Jesus more than anything. Find a man who does not need you - but just values you for who you are and wants to share his life with you.
God bless you.
You want to find someone who will cherish you. While you are waiting, deepen your relationship with Jesus. Only he can and will renew and restore your spirit. Do not commit yourself to anyone who will treat you like this man has treated you. He is not ready to be a loving husband - needs some more work that only his prayer life with Christ will do. Find a man who loves Jesus more than anything. Find a man who does not need you - but just values you for who you are and wants to share his life with you.
God bless you.
K
Im sure you know the saying "when someone shows you who they are believe them". My friend your fiance isnt even trying to hide how abusive,manipulative and mean he will be.Do you think marriage has ever made relationship problems easier? I mean most people try to hide their crazy till after they tie the knot. You know whats ahead.The question isnt "why cant I leave him?" the question is what happened to your self esteem to make you think this is all your worth?
You say leaving now seems difficult but Im telling you if you marry this man the only way I see you getting out is through a womans shelter in danger for your life. You may find it difficult now but its not going to get easier. Your profile says you are a Christian but you are living with this man. You're on the wrong track. Your family is right. You have an ex so maybe you need to step back and look at your decision making when it comes to men. Jumping in with a man that is spending money faster than you can make it,telling you how to spend it,straining your relationship with your son and treating you like trash is not a good choice. You need to find the courage now to walk away before we see you in the news with acid thrown in your face or worse.This guy is a time bomb. Walk away,dont look back. Difficult? Maybe but it may be impossible later. You know better,you're worth more than this. Walk away!!
There will always be a special day upcoming. After Thanksgiving it will be Christmas. How can you leave then? After that it will be somebody's birthday, yours, his, or your sons. How could you leave then? And Valentine's day. How in the world will you leave then? Soon after that it will be Easter. You will not be able to leave then, it is too important a day in the Christian calendar of events. Then it is Mother's day, and Father's day. How could you do that to him around either of those days? Meanwhile you are tolerating his manipulations and abuse very single day, and poisoning yourself and your son. Before you know it, a year will have passed, you will be married to this abuser (horrors!) and Thanksgiving will be coming up soon. However will you leave at that time of year? Get up and walk out the door. Stop making excuses to delay. Do it as soon as possible.
The constant monitoring of me today is getting out of control. He know I have been unhappy and he came home from work early. He sat next to me while I was on conference calls and he got upset that I offered to meet with my boss this week about a project because he didn't require that I do it in person... I said he's my boss! I never see him and being face to face is helpful! He said yeah so you can go flirt with a millionaire. I said no! I'm trying to keep a good job...he said I am too friendly to him on the phone and it disturbs him. It's just exhausting.
K
What is really keeping you with him? Your common sense is telling to leave but something holds you back. I dont know if its something in your past or something deep down.Only you know what it really is. Six weeks is close,maybe thats whats bothering you. But not one person here has given you advice to stay with this man,and we're strangers.That ought to tell you
something.I hope you take a serious look before you take this step.
something.I hope you take a serious look before you take this step.
He is obviously on alert and he knows that I have already tried to leave him once before. I left while he was at work and he saw it on the security cameras. He begged me back but still punishes me for doing it saying that I never warned him.
So he now begs me to tell him if I'm going to leave him. I tell him no I'm not and try to reassure him. He will cry in the morning and beg me not to leave and run an hour or more late for work because he says he is so scared of me leaving.
So...if I leave ...should I tell him?
So he now begs me to tell him if I'm going to leave him. I tell him no I'm not and try to reassure him. He will cry in the morning and beg me not to leave and run an hour or more late for work because he says he is so scared of me leaving.
So...if I leave ...should I tell him?
L
NO! Don't tell him. Just get your stuff and RUN! Change your phone number. He has you emotionally hostage and you need to LEAVE and cut all contact.
This so reminds me of an abusive relationship I was in once. Please see a therapist after you get out. I wish I had done that sooner. You need to break the cycle and fix the part in you that makes you feel like you deserve to be treated horribly. God loves you so much and does not want this for you!!! My heart goes out to you. <3 Sending love and prayers your way.
This so reminds me of an abusive relationship I was in once. Please see a therapist after you get out. I wish I had done that sooner. You need to break the cycle and fix the part in you that makes you feel like you deserve to be treated horribly. God loves you so much and does not want this for you!!! My heart goes out to you. <3 Sending love and prayers your way.
This man is a classic abuser. He violates you emotionally, financially, spiritually and mentally. Those are all serious kinds of abuse. The next easy step is physical abuse or killing you.
Please get the book "A Cry for Justice" by Jeff Crippen. It is about maritial abuse, what it looks like, and how to get free. You can download it onto a Kindle or Kindle App and read it in secret.
Another thing you need to look at is the Cycle of Abuse. I think you are already deep into it.
Here is a link - see if you can relate to it.
Cycle of Abuse
Looking forward to hearing you have left him for good.
PS. Your first mistake was moving in with him before the wedding. But God can use that for good, in that now you know what this man is about, and you can leave him before worse damage is done.
Please get the book "A Cry for Justice" by Jeff Crippen. It is about maritial abuse, what it looks like, and how to get free. You can download it onto a Kindle or Kindle App and read it in secret.
Another thing you need to look at is the Cycle of Abuse. I think you are already deep into it.
Here is a link - see if you can relate to it.
Cycle of Abuse
Looking forward to hearing you have left him for good.
PS. Your first mistake was moving in with him before the wedding. But God can use that for good, in that now you know what this man is about, and you can leave him before worse damage is done.
OK, this is nuts. I'm going to be blunt here. You are willingly making yourself this guy's doormat. He's completely controlling you and everything you do. And you're allowing it!! Stop acting like a lovesick wimp and dump his butt on the curb. Grow some courage and take back your life. Don't tell us you love him, cuz what he's doing to you ain't love. He's proven time and again he doesn't give one care about you at all. Stop being the foolish girlfriend, wise up and leave him NOW.. If you don't leave now, and you marry him, if you try leaving, you know how you'll be leaving him? Most likely either in a body bag or an ambulance.. :/ Men like this don't let their women just leave, the majority end up killing their wives or gf's.. Think about that before you keep enabling him and putting yourself in danger.
J
Things to do to leave...act normal like you're going to work...however you call in sick. Pack nothing!!! Go to bank...take out your money, change all passwords on any devices and drive those 2+ hours and see if you can get your old job back. Stay with a friend...find place to live...never look back! Mail ring...no note...no address...simply mail the ring. Seek counseling! Find yourself. ..be a mother and praise God you got out of a bad situation.