6 Weeks before the wedding & now this...
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Leave the ring behind. Turn off your cell phone and don't answer it for ANYONE. Use a pay phone to call family or friends. Don't tell them where you are. Take all the money you can and go. Try to use money for all your purchases, checks and your credit cards can be traced. Take his name off all your bank accounts. Good luck.
K
You can do this!! You have support here.I know you dont want to hear it.I didnt when I was in a bad relationship.Luckily God took him out of my way and I didnt have to make the decision.Today I am married to a wonderful man who would rather die than hurt my feelings.He treats me like glass.I can talk to him about anything.That man is out there waiting for you. Go and find him and let this man be another womans problem. Now GO!
K
Sometimes these guys meet their match. Someone in my family married this type of man and he cant stand me because I dont put up with one minute of his nonsense. He joked one time we should have married instead and I said I'd be doing life in Leavenworth and he'd be buried under the house if we had married.I cant stand abuse.
Money seems to be a big issue with this man, and he obviously wants to control all of it. Whatever you decide to do, don't lose your individuality, keep your accounts separate and don't give him access. He bought himself a sports car with $1200 per month installments, but has a problem with you buying your kid some sports equipment? That says a lot. Its concerning that you say things like; "He spent my tax money". Why in the world did you ever give him access to your assets? Make sure you have sole control of all your own money and only your name on your accounts. It sounds like he's using you and will bleed you dry... Approach with extreme caution and protect yourself. As others have advised, this is a selfish controlling man who is all about himself. Imo, he ought to be a distant friend at best.
P
Girl, I hope you left and are not going back.
Do you let this man near your child when you visit him? If you cannot leave for yourself, leave for your son! This man doesn't care about you, I can't imagine how he feels about your son. Would you ever trust him alone with your son? I have experience in child protection issues and trust me, these are the type of men you also want to keep your children away from. These situations never, ever get better. Run, run run for this hills. Who cares if you quit your job, and moved and have to quit another job! Cut your losses and RUN
Do you let this man near your child when you visit him? If you cannot leave for yourself, leave for your son! This man doesn't care about you, I can't imagine how he feels about your son. Would you ever trust him alone with your son? I have experience in child protection issues and trust me, these are the type of men you also want to keep your children away from. These situations never, ever get better. Run, run run for this hills. Who cares if you quit your job, and moved and have to quit another job! Cut your losses and RUN
I tried leaving the other day but I think he could sense it and he cut his work day short and came home to be with me. And the last day he has been super sweet and supportive. It is making me feel very weak about leaving him. I truly wish I could just wake up in the morning and I would realize this was all a weird dream.
I am praying for strength. I could walk out the door this morning - as he is at work. He has asked me a million times this morning if I'm leaving him. I told him no.... because I don't want him leaving work again...
Reading back through this post has helped me realize that no matter what - this relationship can't work. But, I am literally sweating ...as I think about the anxiety involved in leaving this house today.
Why am I so darn weak??
I am praying for strength. I could walk out the door this morning - as he is at work. He has asked me a million times this morning if I'm leaving him. I told him no.... because I don't want him leaving work again...
Reading back through this post has helped me realize that no matter what - this relationship can't work. But, I am literally sweating ...as I think about the anxiety involved in leaving this house today.
Why am I so darn weak??
J
You need to pray for strength!!! Then run to the store for feminine products...but instead go the bank and never return.
You are allowing your self to be manipulated!!!
Lets look at it this way...HE IS THE DEVIL and he wants you all of you, to take your money, your self-worth and soon your life!
Get off this computer and GO!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!
You are allowing your self to be manipulated!!!
Lets look at it this way...HE IS THE DEVIL and he wants you all of you, to take your money, your self-worth and soon your life!
Get off this computer and GO!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!
Sometimes life is just hard like this. To be honest I usually don't like it when someone comes here for advice about a relationship and everyone says "just leave him". I think we should really try, but in this case I agree with everyone. I honestly can't see anything but worldly excuses holding you back like I left my job to be here, and things like that. I think the fear of the unknown is holding you tightest, but this is a good opportunity to put full trust in the Lord and just lean on him fully for strength. It has to be such a tough thing for you even though from our point of view we can't see why you wouldn't leave. I think you should just hit your knees and really talk to God about it. We humans could lead you wrong, but God never will and I think to an extent He is using us to relay that to you, but go to Him. I think there are many here to support you in this and if there is any way we can help let us know. I will be praying for you, and no matter if you leave now or later one thing is very clear, you should NOT marry this guy, that would be bad for you assuredly. May God give you strength and guidance.
BTW we are all weak in some ways sometimes, draw strength from He that really loves you.
BTW we are all weak in some ways sometimes, draw strength from He that really loves you.
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You know, I have thought about things in that sense ... he even jokes about being the devil sometimes, although I know he - at the end of the day- believes in God. Here's where things get murky for me and I begin to feel guilty. I have lied to him quite a bit. Usually, it was because I was scared that he would blow up in reaction to whatever it was.... Lately the lies are related to the fact that I was hiding money for my son etc. I had good reason for it - but he sees it as lies and distrust. He does not lie (from what I can tell) but he is a master manipulator and he spins things to his benefit. Yes, he has taken my money and he says he's spent it like "our money"....
At the end of the day, he's jealous of anything I do without him. He was jealous of a work meeting I had yesterday because my CEO seemed very interested in what I wanted to further my career. He admitted that he was jealous and he seemed very annoyed. He is jealous of the time I want to spend with my son... and he is jealous of anytime I am away from him.
At the end of the day, he's jealous of anything I do without him. He was jealous of a work meeting I had yesterday because my CEO seemed very interested in what I wanted to further my career. He admitted that he was jealous and he seemed very annoyed. He is jealous of the time I want to spend with my son... and he is jealous of anytime I am away from him.
Dang sister it's like everything you use to describe his ways or actions are like ALL warning signs. To be honest I haven't caught 1 "good quality" about him, not that I'm saying there isn't any, but can't think of 1 redeeming quality you've mentioned. Just really doesn't seem like a very nice person at all. Please just really think it out hard. We are here for you.
You are right to say the relationship cannot work in its current state.
If you are actually serious about leaving you have to plan it properly.
Is it a clean break, or are you living apart to prove the long term nature of the future.
If it is a clean break, you need to work out a way of not being able to be contacted, probably being a two week holiday combined with moving residence. But what about work, friends etc.
It sounds to me like you are scared violence might get involved, and that is certainly something to be careful about.
I think involving someone else you know and trust is probably key, for your own peace of mind and also safety.
If you are actually serious about leaving you have to plan it properly.
Is it a clean break, or are you living apart to prove the long term nature of the future.
If it is a clean break, you need to work out a way of not being able to be contacted, probably being a two week holiday combined with moving residence. But what about work, friends etc.
It sounds to me like you are scared violence might get involved, and that is certainly something to be careful about.
I think involving someone else you know and trust is probably key, for your own peace of mind and also safety.
Well, he has told me that he doesn't believe in separation. He also says if I leave for the weekend, he wouldn't be able to take me back because he would think I was with another man.
He seems to think that I am going to cheat instantaneously. I tried leaving the house the other night in a fight -- he told me if I walked out the door -- I would never be allowed back in. I know it was a threat but I think there is some truth to it. He wants all or nothing. He keeps begging me to stay...but then other days -- he will tell me to just leave ...since he thinks that's what I want.
I am sick to my stomach - I'm still here but I'm already grieving this relationship. It's hard to feel this way - I suppose it won't get any easier as long as I'm still here.
He seems to think that I am going to cheat instantaneously. I tried leaving the house the other night in a fight -- he told me if I walked out the door -- I would never be allowed back in. I know it was a threat but I think there is some truth to it. He wants all or nothing. He keeps begging me to stay...but then other days -- he will tell me to just leave ...since he thinks that's what I want.
I am sick to my stomach - I'm still here but I'm already grieving this relationship. It's hard to feel this way - I suppose it won't get any easier as long as I'm still here.
You arent weak! Thats a lie from the pit of hell. Why are you speaking out a lie?
Please quit allowing the enemy to get you all worked up. Please quit doing that. Resist the devil and he will flee from you!
1Peter 5:7-9…casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.
Lean on Christ!!! Believe what he has written to you in his word.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7
Have you been girding your loins with the word?
Put on the full armor of God Eph 6
You can do this. Walk in faith and believe that God will carry you through. Look what God has promised you dear sister!
Psalm 91:9-12
9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
I KNOW you can do this! Be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. Let Jesus carry you! Im praying for you right now. HUGS
This made me cry... it is so true. I need more of this - more prayer - more time on my knees asking for help.
The other thing that I just realized is that I truly need to see my fiancé as the devil. His manipulation and begging and twisting... it is like the devil weaseling his way back into my life...
And many of his actions are evil. Maybe if I look at him and his actions in that form - I will understand more of what's transpiring spiritually....
That really clicks for me! It helps me feel the pain in the way ...I think I need to...
Love is patient - love is kind -- he is displaying none of that -- out of genuine concern. I think his kindness and times of patience are merely bologna to get me reeled back into his web....
The other thing that I just realized is that I truly need to see my fiancé as the devil. His manipulation and begging and twisting... it is like the devil weaseling his way back into my life...
And many of his actions are evil. Maybe if I look at him and his actions in that form - I will understand more of what's transpiring spiritually....
That really clicks for me! It helps me feel the pain in the way ...I think I need to...
Love is patient - love is kind -- he is displaying none of that -- out of genuine concern. I think his kindness and times of patience are merely bologna to get me reeled back into his web....
Focus on Jesus sis. He will get you through. Walk a upright life and fill yourself with more Jesus and less world! I am in the Biblestudy chatroom. We were all praying for Christ to give you strength and protection. Go in chat and be encouraged.
Plz dont be idle when you know what needs to be done ever. You are the light of the world and you are an heir to the thrown. Believe it and take action.