A 'Help indeed' to your wife...

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Abigail97

Active member
May 5, 2022
104
73
28
#1
The women's gender is an amazing one and then as a godly man, God then brings that woman your way, that is your wife, the one to whom he has joined you with; to love to cherish, to protect, to fulfill His purpose on earth with, the one whom He has given over to you to ensure she also makes eternity with Him in heaven.
How then do you treat this woman? I know they are the days when you guys just got newly married and there is no issue yet and things are kind of going smoothly and you're able to cope and all, and then the children start coming in. In times like these, how do you really be the help your wife needs at this point? I'm not yet married, but I have someone who has three kids I've stayed with, and even right now I'm with her and it's not very easy. Going to work, taking care of the babies, she has a set of twins actually, a four-year-old, and then her husband also has to go to work; she has a help she employed, but it's still not easy.

You know, when couples in a marriage are willing to sacrifice for each other, the journey actually becomes easier. I will be focusing today on couples that have kids and I will be writing from the aspect of the man. How can you be of help to your wife when the kids have arrived I know you have to work, sometimes your wife might be a stay-at-home mum or might also be working but, in general how can you be of help to her especially if there's no no there's no extra help, like externally, maybe due to lack of the needed finance to hire the help, or due to personal reasons. Even a stay-at-home mum does a lot and you do not have to look at her like oh! you've been at home all day, I've been to work, so yeah! I'm the one that needs rest, and not you! That's a very terrible way to treat this situation and your wife as well. How can you be of help to your wife at the stage?

Based on what I've read from what persons wrote, and what I know to be true, I'll share a few and would like you to add yours please.. Thanks

- When you return from work, ask her genuinely how her day has been, rest if you need to, and gain strength to help her in the ways you can so that she can at least get some rest while you stay with the kids.
- Make out time to genuinely listen to her talk about the joys and struggles on her own side of raising the children, you share yours as well, pray together for strength from the Lord to raise them right, and then make Spirit- led decisions on how to make the work easier for the both of you.
- Choose to love her even if you return from work and she is looking unkempt due to overwhelming tasks that might have kept her in that state. If you feel she has to take a bath at that point, lovingly tell her, and stay with the kids while she does.
- Surprise her by allowing her some time alone to have more time to spend with God. Her spiritual life might be declining die to her overwhelming tasks and she would need to refill or get drained sooner than you expect. You can do this by clearing a space, putting her Bible, a notepad, a pen, a snack, playing her favourite music, and putting in place a comfortable chair and table, and lead her into the room at a time she doesn't expect, and then tell her to spend as much time as she wishes to while you look after the kids.
- Take your walk with God seriously while trusting God to help you keeping loving her and helping her the way He(God) would want you to... There are many other ways, but I'll stop here. I'll like to hear from you too...🙂

I'll also wrote from the aspect of the wives to their husbands but not today please 🙂
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
21,640
11,783
113
#2
The women's gender is an amazing one and then as a godly man, God then...
Your sentence structure here is flawed. You replace with a period everything in bold to make it correct, or you can say what the man does, not what God does. To understand this next time, look at this phrase in isolation: "As a godly man, God does (whatever)." That doesn't make sense, does it?

... brings that woman your way, that is your wife, the one to whom he has joined you with; to love to cherish, to protect, to fulfill His purpose on earth with, the one whom He has given over to you to ensure she also makes eternity with Him in heaven.
I understand your intent with this post, but your statement in bold is not even remotely biblically sound. It is NOT the husband's job "to ensure (his wife) also makes eternity with" God. He can encourage, assist, teach, model, and pray for, but he cannot ensure it; that simply is not within his capacity. Her eternal destiny is in her hands alone.

Otherwise, you're on a good track. I look forward to reading your comments on the wife's role.
 

Abigail97

Active member
May 5, 2022
104
73
28
#3
I agree @ the choice of the word I used, it should have been ASSIST her get to Heaven instead i.e Doing everything in his power to help her get there... Thanks.
 

Abigail97

Active member
May 5, 2022
104
73
28
#4
@ the first comment you made. I agree with you to an extent, but not completely. The way you wrote it, is not the way I wanted the message to be understood though. I agree there is an issue with the sentence structure, and maybe the punctuation as well.

Thanks for your observation and correction, it's a call to take up my learning of how to punctuate my sentences soon and stop its procrastination, as well as improve on myself as a writer. I don't think I've gotten a 'criticism' like this before. I really didn't see it coming 🙂 but all the same I'm grateful. Thank you.
 

Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
609
390
63
USA
#5
Choose to love her even if you return from work and she is looking unkempt due to overwhelming tasks that might have kept her in that state. If you feel she has to take a bath at that point, lovingly tell her, and stay with the kids while she does.
Choose to love her even when she looks unkempt?

Lol... Apparently you don't realize love, if real, doesn't go away just because someone has messy hair or isn't made up!

When it comes time to find yourself a wife, find one you actually love. Then messy won't bother you.

Also, last thing you want to do is come home, take one look at your wife and say "you need a bath!" If what your after is a happy marriage... lol..


You can do this by clearing a space, putting her Bible, a notepad, a pen, a snack, playing her favourite music, and putting in place a comfortable chair and table, and lead her into the room at a time she doesn't expect, and then tell her to spend as much time as she wishes to while you look after the kids.
Instead of shutting ones wife in a room, and make time with God just one more chore your dictating for her to accomplish... Why not just give her some time while you take the kids out or take care of things?

Then if she wants to get extra sleep she can or if she wants to bathe she is free or if she wants that time with God she has time alone.

Don't dictate your wife's time to her, just give her some free time away from the kids and let her choose how she uses it!
 

Abigail97

Active member
May 5, 2022
104
73
28
#6
@ your first comment... True...

@ the second... You doing all that, is supposed to be something you surprise her with; that was why I used the word 'lead her into the room at a time she doesn't expect.'

Your idea is also a good one 🙂
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
21,640
11,783
113
#8
@ the first comment you made. I agree with you to an extent, but not completely. The way you wrote it, is not the way I wanted the message to be understood though. I agree there is an issue with the sentence structure, and maybe the punctuation as well.

Thanks for your observation and correction, it's a call to take up my learning of how to punctuate my sentences soon and stop its procrastination, as well as improve on myself as a writer. I don't think I've gotten a 'criticism' like this before. I really didn't see it coming 🙂 but all the same I'm grateful. Thank you.
I will admit to being a bit critical with regard to grammar. Most people don’t appreciate the nuances… or the criticism.
 

Abigail97

Active member
May 5, 2022
104
73
28
#9
If it's done from a place of love or wanting them to do better, then it might be easier for them to appreciate it; but if it's done to put them down or said in a harsh manner then they definitely would not...
 

Robertt

Well-known member
May 22, 2019
890
310
63
Bahrain
#10
if she smelly from working all day long. i would let her know.

love means being open . but there are nice ways of saying it

" hunny you have done amazing job today, the pigstye is looking pristine again, I think i will go get a bottle of wine chilled down while you go wash all that Pig S^&t of your beuatufuly facve and body. I will give you a shoulder rub once you done and we can do something you enjoy doing afterwards"
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
11,496
7,548
113
#13
Choose to love her even when she looks unkempt?

Lol... Apparently you don't realize love, if real, doesn't go away just because someone has messy hair or isn't made up!

When it comes time to find yourself a wife, find one you actually love. Then messy won't bother you.

Also, last thing you want to do is come home, take one look at your wife and say "you need a bath!" If what your after is a happy marriage... lol..




Instead of shutting ones wife in a room, and make time with God just one more chore your dictating for her to accomplish... Why not just give her some time while you take the kids out or take care of things?

Then if she wants to get extra sleep she can or if she wants to bathe she is free or if she wants that time with God she has time alone.

Don't dictate your wife's time to her, just give her some free time away from the kids and let her choose how she uses it!
I think we are missing the cultural context with this young lady.

Welcome sister!
 

Blade

Well-known member
Nov 19, 2019
976
395
63
#14
Without Christ first ..without a foundation in Christ. To know how He loves the Church. This love only comes from Him not us. Then one could flip it.. its not who he treats her but how is she loving Him no matter what He does. Then flipped again to love her no matter what she does says. If its not from the heart its in vain. You don't do it hoping maybe that love will come.
 

Shepherd

Active member
May 11, 2022
140
37
28
#16
Ephesians 5:22-33
Colossians 3: 18-19
1 Corinthains 7:1-5
Titus 2:1-8

In Ephesians 5. Colossians 3, and 1 Corinthians 7, I find that Paul gave specific admonitions to BOTH husbands and wives at the same time. Thereby, neither sex was singled out. So, if your pastor, for instance were to preach to the ladies in a sermon, he should preach to the men in that same sermon as well. In this way, neither the ladies, nor the men can go home saying to themselves "he sure laid one on my wife" and vice versa. Because marriage is a two way street, and neither wives nor husbands are faultless.

However, there are some admonitions that a man is not qualified to give a young woman whether she be married or single. This is why Godly "aged women" are instructed, in Titus 2, to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. I find nowhere that women are to admonish men either. My advice would be to find the Godliest elderly woman that you know and sit at her feet, so to speak. She can teach you many things which can enrich your life. And, yes, a husband should render due benevolence/love to his wife at every opportunity.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
875
435
63
#17
The women's gender is an amazing one and then as a godly man, God then brings that woman your way, that is your wife, the one to whom he has joined you with; to love to cherish, to protect, to fulfill His purpose on earth with, the one whom He has given over to you to ensure she also makes eternity with Him in heaven.
How then do you treat this woman? I know they are the days when you guys just got newly married and there is no issue yet and things are kind of going smoothly and you're able to cope and all, and then the children start coming in. In times like these, how do you really be the help your wife needs at this point? I'm not yet married, but I have someone who has three kids I've stayed with, and even right now I'm with her and it's not very easy. Going to work, taking care of the babies, she has a set of twins actually, a four-year-old, and then her husband also has to go to work; she has a help she employed, but it's still not easy.

You know, when couples in a marriage are willing to sacrifice for each other, the journey actually becomes easier. I will be focusing today on couples that have kids and I will be writing from the aspect of the man. How can you be of help to your wife when the kids have arrived I know you have to work, sometimes your wife might be a stay-at-home mum or might also be working but, in general how can you be of help to her especially if there's no no there's no extra help, like externally, maybe due to lack of the needed finance to hire the help, or due to personal reasons. Even a stay-at-home mum does a lot and you do not have to look at her like oh! you've been at home all day, I've been to work, so yeah! I'm the one that needs rest, and not you! That's a very terrible way to treat this situation and your wife as well. How can you be of help to your wife at the stage?

Based on what I've read from what persons wrote, and what I know to be true, I'll share a few and would like you to add yours please.. Thanks

- When you return from work, ask her genuinely how her day has been, rest if you need to, and gain strength to help her in the ways you can so that she can at least get some rest while you stay with the kids.
- Make out time to genuinely listen to her talk about the joys and struggles on her own side of raising the children, you share yours as well, pray together for strength from the Lord to raise them right, and then make Spirit- led decisions on how to make the work easier for the both of you.
- Choose to love her even if you return from work and she is looking unkempt due to overwhelming tasks that might have kept her in that state. If you feel she has to take a bath at that point, lovingly tell her, and stay with the kids while she does.
- Surprise her by allowing her some time alone to have more time to spend with God. Her spiritual life might be declining die to her overwhelming tasks and she would need to refill or get drained sooner than you expect. You can do this by clearing a space, putting her Bible, a notepad, a pen, a snack, playing her favourite music, and putting in place a comfortable chair and table, and lead her into the room at a time she doesn't expect, and then tell her to spend as much time as she wishes to while you look after the kids.
- Take your walk with God seriously while trusting God to help you keeping loving her and helping her the way He(God) would want you to... There are many other ways, but I'll stop here. I'll like to hear from you too...🙂

I'll also wrote from the aspect of the wives to their husbands but not today please 🙂
I enjoyed reading that. Reminded me of this husbandry instructional notice I saw while exploring a historic village. You have a lovely positive caring for others attitude and I look forward to reading the wives aspect too:)
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,925
1,249
113
#18
umm i didnt post vulgar lol i hid the word. wow .. @@@@##@#@#@#@#@#@#@
You hid the word with the meaning being obvious so it's read clearly regardless.

Pig feces is pretty disgusting so it was a bit jarring for me personally since I'm a pretty visual person and I woke up recently LOL. Outside a young child I don't think censoring does much.

The attempt is noted and it's a pretty minor thing to most and irrelevant entirely to others...he was just pointing it out.




I've been pretty loose with my words in past so don't take it as criticism btw.