Age of Marriage

[MsMediator]

Assuming the young couple like each other and this is not an issue of abuse, etc, they should stay together/get married/raise the child. Unfortunately the grandparents have to figure out how to support them, at a minimum offering them space in the home and basic food until the couple is around 22 or so. Costs will have to be cut, baby will have to use cloth reusable diapers.

 

[kaylagrl]

My church has young adults below 15 who have been sexually active, and one of our young teens is now pregnant by one of our neighboring church's young men. It is the opinion of some of the men that the two should be married, and it is the opinion of some of the men that the two should not marry. Some in first reply have suggested adoption, and I know that some would even look past an abortion.

And what do the parents of the underaged children say? The children themselves. And exactly what do you mean by "look past an abortion"?! Why is this private family issue being decided by anyone in the church?

In the US, "legal" consent is normally no lower than 16. In Mexico I have heard it is 12.
Mary was probably 14-16 when she birthed Jesus.
Jesus says we cannot divorce.

Don't see what that has to do with the price of tea in China. There is adoption, which seems like the best option here. But again, that's a private family matter, I'm sure they will find the right answer for them.

I probably will have no say on this, but I want more help knowing how to talk about this.
Thoughts? Questions?

This is going to sound ignorant but, has the family asked for your advice? Again, I see this as a private family issue. Unless you were asked directly, why would you get involved?

 

[apwall21]

But juveniles under 18 are likely to end up in foster homes for giving birth to children....not parenting their babies. Seen that happen very often.

Another question, since you're worried about them Forcing everyone else into taking care of this child; Why then do you support they should give the child up for adoption? Aren't you just giving the same disrespect for the neighbors, only this one expects to play on someone else's inabilities AND the young adults now happily escaped own personal irresponsibility in having the child in fornication and adultery?

 

[apwall21]

And what do the parents of the underaged children say? The children themselves. And exactly what do you mean by "look past an abortion"?! Why is this private family issue being decided by anyone in the church?

Why do people have marriage ceremonies? What is the point of having witnesses to ones vows?

 

[Polar]

Oh she wants to be right....and has romanticized the situation past the point of reality.

But juveniles under 18 are likely to end up in foster homes for giving birth to children....not parenting their babies. Seen that happen very often.

Laws of the land...hard to work around. Especially for juveniles who don't even have bus fare.

She is a he...I just checked Probably explains the anger as I think a woman would be more sympathetic even though it's a bad situation IMO

If that were my daughter, I would remove her from the situation and tell Mr Romantic to keep his distance. I don't think I could put up a child for adoption and would want to raise the child myself. But marriage? nuh uh

I know of 2 situations myself where there were underage pregnancies and everyone saying they were Christians. Both married. One worked out very well and the other ended up with the so called man beating his wife after they had 2 children so divorce there. In both cases, parents were not paying enough attention.

None of it is easy.

 

[apwall21]

She is a he...I just checked Probably explains the anger as I think a woman would be more sympathetic even though it's a bad situation IMO

If that were my daughter, I would remove her from the situation and tell Mr Romantic to keep his distance. I don't think I could put up a child for adoption and would want to raise the child myself. But marriage? nuh uh

I know of 2 situations myself where there were underage pregnancies and everyone saying they were Christians. Both married. One worked out very well and the other ended up with the so called man beating his wife after they had 2 children so divorce there. In both cases, parents were not paying enough attention.

None of it is easy.

Sure could be by fleshly standards. HHS will help you find an abortion provider, lickety split. That seems to work out well?

 

[JohnDB]

Should we continue playing as though young adults are children?

They ARE children....in EVERY nation on this globe.

 

[apwall21]

Exodus 22 “If a man seduces a virgin[e] who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price[f] for her and make her his wife. 17 If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.

 

[apwall21]

They ARE children....in EVERY nation on this globe.

By Codes of men? Humanist, Socialist, Sangerite codes?
Also, not in Mexico, and no, not in EVERY nation. Mostly "western."
Biology teaches that a creature is Adult when it can procreate.
Who should I believe, God, or my local council?

 

[Polar]

You already blamed the Parents?
Is there a sin which doesn't effect the entire body of Christ?

Sure. You can sin all day and I promise I will be just fine. God holds us each accountable, not the neighborhood. Sin does have a ripple effect to be sure, like the concentric circles when you throw a rock into the water.

So because we've built a culture that devalues young adults in everything, calling them Minors where God designed Adults (biologically defined, which is Nature, which beats the heck out of Humanism), we must continue that for the Church?

I don't devalue anyone. You paint with such a broad brush, you have quite painted over yourself as well.

How about that anger though? Maybe if you got a grip on that, you know self-control and stuff, you might explain why you are so outraged. I noticed you are not married. God does not change, but culture does and the centuries tick by. If you actually advocate for teens below 15 to marry and have children, using Mary as an example, sorry but that is actually against the law.

Remember that we as Christians, are supposed to respect that sort of thing. Christians who have some idea of overthrowing the government or ignoring the parts of scripture they do not like set the type of example that creates disrespect for all other believers.

I am sure you have answers for all of that, neatly tucked into a blanket of snark and angst that denies that peace we are supposed to have.

 

[JohnDB]

She is a he...I just checked Probably explains the anger as I think a woman would be more sympathetic even though it's a bad situation IMO

If that were my daughter, I would remove her from the situation and tell Mr Romantic to keep his distance. I don't think I could put up a child for adoption and would want to raise the child myself. But marriage? nuh uh

I know of 2 situations myself where there were underage pregnancies and everyone saying they were Christians. Both married. One worked out very well and the other ended up with the so called man beating his wife after they had 2 children so divorce there. In both cases, parents were not paying enough attention.

None of it is easy.

Oh yeah....one set of parents of the teenaged kids could easily get a restraining order and that ends that.

No romantic idealistic teenaged marriage anymore.
However, the 15-24 year old age range has the highest divorce rate of any age group. The second-highest rate of divorce takes place in people ages 25-34, but it's declining there, as well: down from 33.3 per 1,000 in 1990 to 23 per 1,000 in 2017. The rate among 35-to-44-year-olds has remained fairly stable.Nov 23, 2021

Previous research points to a variety of social, family, health, and financial outcomes that are strongly correlated with early teen marriage and low education. Women who marry while in their teens are two-thirds more likely to divorce within 15 years of their wedding compared with women who postpone marriage.

 

[Live4Him3]

Exodus 22 “If a man seduces a virgin[e] who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price[f] for her and make her his wife. 17 If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.

That's the first thing that popped into my mind when I first saw this thread the other day, but I know that it's fruitless interjecting the word of God into conversations here.

Welcome to the Dr. Phil show where you can throw your Bible out the window while eating popcorn and sipping on a soda.

 

[apwall21]

Sure. You can sin all day and I promise I will be just fine. God holds us each accountable, not the neighborhood. Sin does have a ripple effect to be sure, like the concentric circles when you throw a rock into the water.

Ok, we're done talking. Thanks.

 

[Polar]

Exodus 22 “If a man seduces a virgin[e] who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price[f] for her and make her his wife. 17 If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.

Oh the ole eye for an eye thing. Well, we now have a covenant with God, through the shed blood of Christ, that speaks of grace, mercy, forgiveness, temperance and so on.

We are not under Old Testament law. But I am not surprised you quote whatever floats your personal boat and would like to apply it to everyone else.

Sometimes I am curious as to why people respond as they do. In your case, there is definitely more to the story than you have told us.

 

[apwall21]

Previous research points to a variety of social, family, health, and financial outcomes that are strongly correlated with early teen marriage and low education. Women who marry while in their teens are two-thirds more likely to divorce within 15 years of their wedding compared with women who postpone marriage.

In which society, under which set of social codes, with which group in the pulpit and who controlling the airwaves?

Is this what God would want? Them to quit each other first?

 

[Polar]

Sure could be by fleshly standards. HHS will help you find an abortion provider, lickety split. That seems to work out well?

If I were raped I would not abort. Where do all these accusations come from? Like I said, I am wondering why you are so furious unless you have some sort of personal stake in the matter?

 

[JohnDB]

In which society, under which set of social codes, with which group in the pulpit and who controlling the airwaves?

Is this what God would want? Them to quit each other first?

The only thing that holds teen marriages together is character....which is highly suspect by a teenage pregnancy to begin with. Neither of the two teens were responsible enough to bother with obtaining birth control out of concern for their partner. So....yeah there's that too.

 

[Beckie]

Any room for Grace?

 

[apwall21]

The only thing that holds teen marriages together is character....which is highly suspect by a teenage pregnancy to begin with. Neither of the two teens were responsible enough to bother with obtaining birth control out of concern for their partner. So....yeah there's that too.

Birth Control? So if they had Aimed to fornicate, instead of just failing to passion in a moment, they would have been safe and good Christians with wealth and community standing on the way.

 

[Polar]

Jesus says we cannot divorce

This is not true either. There is at least one reason, although I personally believe that treating either spouse like dirt, beating them and otherwise abusing their very core, is another reason.

As it is, men who treat their wives that way are often found playing around outside the marriage anyway and sometimes it is the wife who treats her husband that way; mostly the other way around though.