Broken families, broken kids

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love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
638
704
93
#41
We are all broken. The absolute best way to help students and children that struggle is by forming a relationship with them. Spend time with them and listen to what they have to say.

Children that act out, act out for a reason. It could be for many reasons. They could come from great homes and home lives and they can come from terrible homes and home lives, but there is always a reason for behaviors. Some examples may include needing/wanting attention, they could be hurting or trying to tell you something, the behavior could be a learned behavior due to their environment. The reasons are endless.

Get to know the class/ the students or the child you are with.

As for praying, pray that the Lord help you in forming a relationship of trust and respect. Pray for guidance and encouragement. Pray for discernment and protection over the child.

As a side note, from a teachers perspective. If a student is having a hard time in library specifically and not in the classroom, then your expectations, structured time and or relationship with the kiddo needs to be looked at differently. Ask the child’s teacher for help in understanding the student’s needs. They should be able to help you.
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
882
113
#42
We are all broken. The absolute best way to help students and children that struggle is by forming a relationship with them. Spend time with them and listen to what they have to say.

Children that act out, act out for a reason. It could be for many reasons. They could come from great homes and home lives and they can come from terrible homes and home lives, but there is always a reason for behaviors. Some examples may include needing/wanting attention, they could be hurting or trying to tell you something, the behavior could be a learned behavior due to their environment. The reasons are endless.

Get to know the class/ the students or the child you are with.

As for praying, pray that the Lord help you in forming a relationship of trust and respect. Pray for guidance and encouragement. Pray for discernment and protection over the child.

As a side note, from a teachers perspective. If a student is having a hard time in library specifically and not in the classroom, then your expectations, structured time and or relationship with the kiddo needs to be looked at differently. Ask the child’s teacher for help in understanding the student’s needs. They should be able to help you.
I have a different approach. for the reason that I am older and much, much more knowledgeable, IO think it much better that I teach and they listen. To their elders I mean...
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
638
704
93
#43
I have a different approach. for the reason that I am older and much, much more knowledgeable, IO think it much better that I teach and they listen. To their elders I mean...
Very interesting. May I ask how long you have been teaching?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#44
We are all broken. The absolute best way to help students and children that struggle is by forming a relationship with them. Spend time with them and listen to what they have to say.

Children that act out, act out for a reason. It could be for many reasons. They could come from great homes and home lives and they can come from terrible homes and home lives, but there is always a reason for behaviors. Some examples may include needing/wanting attention, they could be hurting or trying to tell you something, the behavior could be a learned behavior due to their environment. The reasons are endless.

Get to know the class/ the students or the child you are with.

As for praying, pray that the Lord help you in forming a relationship of trust and respect. Pray for guidance and encouragement. Pray for discernment and protection over the child.

As a side note, from a teachers perspective. If a student is having a hard time in library specifically and not in the classroom, then your expectations, structured time and or relationship with the kiddo needs to be looked at differently. Ask the child’s teacher for help in understanding the student’s needs. They should be able to help you.
I dont think they have a hard time in the library its not the library environment, sometimes it can even be be triggered by something the teachers have said as they come in as a class.
when they come in during their break its free time, so some because they havent learned will run a bit wild, and some can be bullying. Ive had to break up a lot of squabbles and fights. A few times Ive had to close the library/lock it down and call the principal in.

I have about 350 children at school, so learning everyones names is a bit of a challenge, but Ive managed to forge relationships with many of them.
Ive signed up about 60 for summer reading and theyve all promised me they will be reading every day over the holidays. So Im praying they all will keep their promises cos obviously I cant be there to monitor them all! A few say to me their parents wont take them to the public library. I think its because their parents dont read or just dont have the time. which is sad in a way. My dad wasnt a big reader of books but he always took me to the library.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
12,976
3,202
113
#45
I have a different approach. for the reason that I am older and much, much more knowledgeable, IO think it much better that I teach and they listen. To their elders I mean...
How can you teach anyone if you automatically put them down for supposedly being young and not knowing as much?

I'm sure you're very experienced in some areas, but not all.

One teacher I know has probably 50 years of experience, but has to teach with pen and paper easels because he doesn't know how to convert all his teaching materials into a presentation using modern technology. (Not that this is bad, but it prevents the younger generations from being able to relate to his teaching style, and sometimes turns them off from signing up for his class.)

I have never been able to learn much from teachers (or people in general) who have that, "I'm older and wiser and you need to just listen to me because of that." The very fact that they presume they are above you in every way is the very reason why it's hard to listen to them -- arrogance is not a teacher.

My favorite teachers have always been the ones who have said, "We can both learn from each other, and we can learn together." It not only gives the teacher credibility due to their humility, but it motivates the student (me, at least) to work hard for the teacher.

But what would I know?

I'm just a stupid (middle-aged) student who surely wouldn't know anything, most especially not as much as you.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
16,825
4,422
113
#46
How can you teach anyone if you automatically put them down for supposedly being young and not knowing as much?

I'm sure you're very experienced in some areas, but not all.

One teacher I know has probably 50 years of experience, but has to teach with pen and paper easels because he doesn't know how to convert all his teaching materials into a presentation using modern technology. (Not that this is bad, but it prevents the younger generations from being able to relate to his teaching style, and sometimes turns them off from signing up for his class.)

I have never been able to learn much from teachers (or people in general) who have that, "I'm older and wiser and you need to just listen to me because of that." The very fact that they presume they are above you in every way is the very reason why it's hard to listen to them -- arrogance is not a teacher.

My favorite teachers have always been the ones who have said, "We can both learn from each other, and we can learn together." It not only gives the teacher credibility due to their humility, but it motivates the student (me, at least) to work hard for the teacher.

But what would I know?

I'm just a stupid (middle-aged) student who surely wouldn't know anything, most especially not as much as you.
My preacher says "we are learning together". I love that attitude. No new Christian comes in and feels out of place. We learn best together.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,115
4,003
113
#47
I took my guitar to school and for one girl was learning, I confess I dont know how to play it because I had noone to teach me so I was learning too. I let the children practice on it.

it is far better they feel safe learning and can make mistakes rather than feel they have to do eveything perfect from the start which happens when they get older and teachers get harder on them for not knowing things. But how can they know if they havent learned or practiced? or seen it being modelled, everyday? It takes time.

One thing I do ask with children is how many brothers and sisters they have. I relate to them by saying Im a second child, a middle child. (now it feels like Im an only child, cos I live with my folk and my brother and sister have moved away) . In a way, my family is divorced because of this. I remember when we were all under one roof and it was cozier, there might have been battles but they were better than estrangement. For a younger child sharing is everything. When families dont share, it can be lonely. To have nobody pay any attention to you and to be shut out or feeling abandoned and rejected is pretty scary. Because for many children their family is their whole world they havent yet learned to reach out for help or know who to turn to. Some parents discourage their children from making friends outside their family, because their parents dont talk to other parents or arrange play dates etc.

I had one boy excitedly tell me he was going to be baptised so I went to his church to see him only it turned out that he didnt make it because his parents didnt want him to be baptised. his friend got baptised but he didnt. He was always at the library and had a lot of disruption at home as his parents were split up and moving around. He was an eager boy and keen on books but could be bully to girls and was teasing them, I had to put a stop to that. one day he came to me and confessed he was a bully when another younger boy lashed out him when he was bullying. I said it was never ok to be bully or tease someone, like some boys do think its funny to demean someone or play fight.

They do learn bullying from their family. If their parents dont stop it the older and bigger children will always tend to pick on younger or weaker children.



I
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
818
835
93
#48
These examples remind me of the saying "People dont care how much you know until they know how much you care".
If a child, heck...anyone, can sense you truly care about them, they are more likely to listen to what you have to say.
Alot of undesirable behaviors occur because healthy attachments with key people in their life have never been formed.
Attachment disorders are displayed in many ways.
If you make these things a matter of prayer (which it seems you have), and give those kids and their behaviour to the Lord, I believe He will make a difference in their lives somehow.. that you will make a difference. (Even if you never get to see the fruit of your prayers ❤ )