Modern churches teach monogamy as the standard that God has set. But are they correct in their teaching? Does the Bible really teach monogamy? Or does it teach polygyny? (po·lyg·y·ny noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple wives: the custom of being married to more than one wife at the same time. ) Or does it teach polygamy? (po·lyg·a·my noun 1. ANTHROPOLOGY having multiple spouses: the custom of having more than one spouse at the same time.)
I can say, without hesitation, that there is not even one instance of a woman having more than one husband at a time in the Bible, and can say with confidence that if a woman tried too, she would have been considered an adulteress. So we can rule out polygamy. But Polygyny is a different matter.
The first polygynist in the Bible is found in the book of Gen the fourth chapter. Gen 4:19-20 19 Then Lamech took for himself two wives: the name of one was Adah, and the name of the second was Zillah. (NKJV) Now Lamech was the seventh generation from Adam. So we see that polygyny was practiced as early in history as the seventh son of Adam. (Note Adam and Eve were still alive when Lamech did this. And they obviously new about it. If it were wrong for Lamech to have 2 wives at one time, would their not have been a rebuke of this action recorded in scripture? The fact that there is not, could indicate that this was considered ok.)
Abraham had 2 wives at one time. (Gen 16:1-4, 25:5-6)
Jacob had 4 wives from which the 12 tribes of Israel came from. (Gen 29:ff)
King David had 20+ wives. (2 Sam 3:2-5, 12-16, 5:13, 15:17-18)
King Solomon had 1000 wives.(1 Kings 11:3)
Elkanah had 2 wives (1 Sam 1:1-2)
Now the next Question we have to ask ourselves is did God approve of polygyny? To answer this question let’s go to 2 Sam 3:2-5 “2 Sons were born to David in Hebron: His firstborn was Amnon by (1.) Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; 3 his second, Chileab, by (2.) Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite; the third, Absalom the son of (3.) Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur; 4 the fourth, Adonijah the son of (4.) Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah the son of (5) Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, by David's wife (6.) Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron. (NKJV)
2 Sam 3:12-16
13 And David said, "Good, I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you: you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul's daughter, when you come to see my face." 14 So David sent messengers to Ishbosheth, Saul's son, saying, "Give me my wife (7.)Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines." 15 And Ishbosheth sent and took her from her husband, from Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 Then her husband went along with her to Bahurim, weeping behind her. So Abner said to him, "Go, return!" And he returned. (NKJV)
2 Sam 5:13
13 And David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem, after he had come from Hebron. Also more sons and daughters were born to David. (NKJV)
2 Sam 15:16-17
16 Then the king went out with all his household after him. But the king left ten women, concubines, to keep the house. (NKJV)
In these passages we see that David had 7 wives before he became the King of Israel. Then he took several more wives and concubines. Then when he fled from his son Absolon, he left ten of his concubines behind. So far we can count 17 wives for king David. Bethsheba made 18. And some of the wives that David married after Saul’s death makes at least 20 wives. (This is a very conservative number. David had a lot more than that!)
But it is interesting to note that even though David had so many wives; God did not say that he was committing adultery. God did not convict David of adultery until he slept with another mans wife. Then God judged him severely for it! (Its also interesting to note that God does not tell David that he is breaking His law that prohibits a king from ‘multiplying wives to himself’ (Deut 17:17) Evidently a king having 20+ wives is not considered ‘multiplying wives’. I suppose that God’s intent of this law was to keep kings from ‘harvesting’ all of the beautiful girls of the kingdom for himself and leaving only the ugly ones for the other men in his kingdom. Another way to look at it is how do we define ‘multiplying wives’? It all depends on the size of the kingdom. If you have 1000 subjects in your kingdom; than 10 wives might be considered ‘many wives’. But if you have 10 million subjects; than 1000 wives would not be considered to be ‘many wives’. Its all a matter of perspective.)
Let us examine David’s adultery.
(I have had to shorten this as this site will not let me post more than 10,000 characters. so you will have to look up the scripture references that i am giving. ) 2 Sam 11:2-12:23, 2 Samuel 12:1-23.
Notice how severely God punished King David when he committed sexual immorality! The fact that He did not punish David for his 20+ wives; but rather is the one who gave him those wives for his sexual pleasure; shows that God does not consider polygyny a sin! Verse 8 above CLEARLY shows God condoning polygyny.
Also consider that God gave a law in Deut. that governs polygyny. In Deut 21:15-17 it states:
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: 16 Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: 17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his. KJV
Now if God’s will was for a man to have only one wife; why doe’s God give a law that governs a polygynous marriage? If God wanted monogamy to be the norm; why did he not give Moses laws that would prohibit men from marrying more than one woman? The fact that he did not; and the fact that there are many examples of godly men in the old test that had more than one wife. (although there are no examples of women having more than one husband.) And the fact that God condoned polygyny in 2 Sam 12:8; shows us that God’s will for marriage is one man for every woman; and as many woman as a man can support for every man.
Polygyny was a sign of wealth. Just as a car is a sign of wealth. (e.g. if a man owns a rolls Royce or two, it is a sign of great wealth. If a man owns a VW it is a sing of poverty, or the very least, middle class. The type and number of vehicles that a person has is a statement of there social standing. So also, the amount of wives that a man had was a sign of his social standing. That’s why Solomon had 1000 wives; it was a statement of his great wealth! And if a man had only one wife; it was a statement of his poverty. And poor men had developed a habit of divorcing there wife for the sake of marrying another. Rather than just adding the other woman to his harem. (he could not afford too.) This is why Jesus said that if a man divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality, he was committing adultery. Because he was divorcing his wife for the purpose of being able to marry another one. And this was, and is, sin. (Mark 10:11)
There is a good reason why we need to embrace this doctrine; namely that in Eph 5: 22-33 the Holy Spirit uses marriage as a symbol of the churches union with Christ. Now it is evident that Christ has many wives; for He is married to each one of us individually. But we can only have one husband! We can have no other gods but Him! Otherwise we commit spiritual adultery! Thus the monogamous image of marriage dose not give us a representation of the churches relationship with Christ here on earth; it is only the polygynist marriage that adequately demonstrates the churches relationship to Christ to the world! Hence the commonly accepted doctrine of ‘one man one woman’ as being Gods ideal for marriage is completely wrong!
