A Catholic priest and a Mormon bishop are on the same airplane and seated beside each other.
“Is it still a requirement of your faith that you are not to drink coffee?” asked the priest.
The Mormon bishop responds, “Yes that is still one of our beliefs.”
The Catholic priest then asks, “Have you ever had a cup of coffee?”
“Yes,” says the Mormon bishop, “I have to admit on one occasion, I did succumb to temptation and tried a cup of coffee.”
The Catholic priest nods in understanding and goes on with his reading.
After a while, Mormon bishop speaks up and asks, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
The Catholic priest replies, “Yes, that is still
one of our vows.”
“Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?” the bishop asked the priest.
The priest replied, “Yes, Bishop, on one occasion, I was weak and broke my vow.”
The bishop smiled, looked at the Catholic priest and said, “A lot better than coffee, isn’t it?”
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.
“What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out “Oh my God!….” Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, “You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don”t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”
The atheist looked directly into the light “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?” “Very well,” said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ….. brought both paws together…bowed his head and spoke: “Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful.”