Enduring a separation with spouse..

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Dec 31, 2017
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Hey everyone I'm only here to find friends to talk to and give encouragement during a separation with my wife. It was unexpected and shocking. I love her with all my heart and so badly want to be with her. I know God will take care of me and he has a plan and purpose for all of us but I'm only human and sometimes I really get down and just need some encouragement.. Thanks...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#2
Praying for God to be with you during this troubling period of your life. God will indeed take care of you and your wife also. I can understand why you are down and I'm praying or God to lift you up.
 
Dec 31, 2017
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Thank you tourist.. Just knowing someone is praying is an encouragement.. God bless you..
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
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#4
Welcome Timothy,
Is your separation supervised by a pastor or Christian counselor? Is there a plan and time frame to it or is it just a time to process things on your own?

Without a plan, time frame, and impartial but concerned third party, the likelihood is that the concerns which led to separation in the first place will not be resolved, leading either to an unstable reuniting or a divorce.

If you are doing this on your own, I would suggest the following:

- Ask the Lord what He wants to heal and change in you. Deal honestly with everything He brings to your attention, and keep asking until you sense that He is done for the time being;
- Ask for feedback from friends, what they see in you that may contribute to the problems;
- Sign up for the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org - not because that is where your marriage will end up, but because there is a lot of relevant wisdom shared through that medium.
- Get accountable to another Christian man (or a small group of men), face to face, if you aren't already. Strangers on the internet can certainly pray for you, but you can give us a snow job or just stop responding at any time. People who know you personally can get in your face when you're hiding things.

May the Lord give you peace, healing, wisdom and guidance. You will need them all, and then some. :)
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
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#5
Tim,

Tourist is a 'prayer warrior', but just know, that many who visit this site are
'silent prayer warriors' and that you and your wife are being lifted-up in
many silent prayers not posted...take heart in this, and try and feel their Love
for you and yours...
 

Solemateleft

Senior Member
Jun 25, 2017
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Greetings Timothy,
I have immense empathy for your situation (going thru very similar circumstance) - I pray for you and your wife. You are not alone brother! I pray that you find the encouragement that your heart so desperately craves. The CC forum is a great vehicle for both your encouragement as well as a means for you to find your spiritual strength along your journey with our lord.

God Bless
 
Dec 31, 2017
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Thanks dino246.. I do talk with our pastor but my wife won't even talk with him much less me. I was saved only days after she asked me to leave so the old man is gone and I have been made new. It wasn't that I was a bad person or anything but my habits I had she didn't like but that goes both ways. Marriage is a two way street and I've never heard of a perfect one. It's been over 5 months now and she's not done anything legal as in papers or anything so im kinda in the dark on where she is as far as feelings about our marriage.. Thanks for the prayers and may God bless you...
 
Dec 31, 2017
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Thanks oldethennew and solemateleft.. May God bless you both greatly...
 

blessedby1

Junior Member
Aug 15, 2017
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Someone once said ‘In a relationship when communication starts to fade, everything else follows.’ Timothy my own marriage difficulties stemmed from poor communication. Too many times I would be hearing my wife, but not really listening. I have learned that when my wife and I talk, I stop what I am doing and look directly at her (direct eye contact keeps me from doing doing anything else). That way we know that she has my complete undivided attention. Perhaps if you tried this- you both could share out each others needs. I once heard ‘A good relationship begins with good communication and that begins with good listening.’ God Bless. You and your wife are certainly in my prayers.
 
Dec 31, 2017
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Thanks blessedby1,
I can only wish I had done that more.. If God does bless me with another opportunity to do that again believe me I will always be very mindful of doing that.. Thanks again for the prayers I surely do need them...
 

blessedby1

Junior Member
Aug 15, 2017
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“A strong relationship requires choosing to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other.” Your marriage is worth saving, studies suggest that families involved in divorce are worse off in many ways. And any unsettled issues may be carried on in future relationships. It may be difficult to do, but working the problems and finding solutions that can be causing strife- will be the most rewarding job you will have. “A reporter asked the couple, ‘How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?’ The woman replied, ‘We were born in a time when if something was broken we would fix it, not throw it away…’” Do you see a hopeless end or do you see endless hope. In life’s most difficult, trying times continue to rely on God’s Word. I recently read this powerful Bible verse: 'Call to Me [God] and I will show you great and mighty things which you do not know.'
As pursuers, protectors, and providers, men are called to the leaders of the home. We also like to fix things. Timothy your marriage may be broken, but it can be repaired. Make it your life's calling to find out what blesses your wife...and do those things.


 
Dec 31, 2017
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Amen blessedby1,
With God's help and the encouragement from people like you I know that I can get through these tough times. I do pray for my marriage to be healed and I do know what the Bible says about marriage and divorce and so does my wife. At this point all I can do is trust in the Lord and wait on him and serve him and obey his every word.. As any true believer, My heart's desire is to learn more about Jesus and gain understanding and knowledge about him and draw closer to him each and everyday.. He never told us life would be easy as a matter of fact he told us it would be hard and there will be trials and temptations but he will never leave us nor forsake us.. He will always make a way out if we will just listen, obey and trust him.. I thank God for people like you who will help others in there time of need.. May God bless you greatly...
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
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Thanks dino246.. I do talk with our pastor but my wife won't even talk with him much less me. I was saved only days after she asked me to leave so the old man is gone and I have been made new. It wasn't that I was a bad person or anything but my habits I had she didn't like but that goes both ways. Marriage is a two way street and I've never heard of a perfect one. It's been over 5 months now and she's not done anything legal as in papers or anything so im kinda in the dark on where she is as far as feelings about our marriage.. Thanks for the prayers and may God bless you...
Jesus is clear that no one is good except God. So, that means you do need to come to grips with a lot of things in your life! Because if you weren’t bad, then why did Jesus need to save you?

I don’t say this to be cruel, because we are all in this same boat. Without God, we are all bad!. But, praise God, he has saved you, and given you the opportunity to really examine your heart, to see what you need to change to become more like Christ. Being s Christian is really not about your wife, but of the transformation the Holy Spirit is making in you, for the rest of your life.

On the other hand, being closer to Christ will make you a better husband, should you get back together with your wife. My suggestion is to journal. Write down the Scriptures that stand out, as you read the Bible. Write about the good times with your wife. Try and remember the fights and how you worked through them. Try and remember the insults your wife threw at you, and whether they had any validity, or whether she was just in attack mode. Or both!

Finally, pray! Seek God as much as you can throughout the day. Get to know him. Don’t just ask for things, but seek his face. Allow God to change you and minister to you. And seek him for the answers of how to proceed with your wife. Try not to rely on you feelings and emotions, but seek the Biblical and godly way to do things.

I am so glad you came to Christ, and grieved your wife took this opportunity to separate. I will be praying for you!
 
Dec 31, 2017
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Thanks Angela53510,
I do completely understand everything you said and it is my heart's desire above everything else to grow closer to God and serve and obey him.. Thanks again for the advice and the prayers.. I certainly do thank God in my prayers for people like you.. God bless you always..
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#15
Luke 1:37 and Philippians 4:13
 
Dec 31, 2017
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Amen blue_ladybug,
It's only because of God that I can get thru each day.. He is our only hope and without him we can do nothing.. Thanks for the scriptures and prayers.. Im truly greatful.. God bless you...
 

Saturn

Senior Member
Apr 30, 2014
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Hi Timothy,

This sounds like a very painful situation you're going through and I'm sad to hear it. I truly pray God comforts you during this time. I hope you find some encouragement here and some friends. :)
 
Dec 31, 2017
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Thanks Saturn,
It has been really tough for me but because of God first and foremost and people like you I get through it one day at a time.. Thanks again and may God bless you greatly...