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"Dad", I'm so glad you made the decision to meet your daughter. Your two other kids may adjust very well to having another sister. They are probably as eager to meet her as you are. I'm sure you will find that everything will go just fine and you definitely wont regret doing it! Hope everything works out! 
If you told your wife, before you were married, that you weren't a virgin, she doesn't have much right to complain. Any time a woman marries a man who isn't a virgin (or who wasn't a celibate other than times he was married if he is a widower, etc.) this is a possibility.
This is your daughter. You have to do what's right. You didn't know. But the Bible does say a man who will not provide for his own has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. You didn't know about her. You weren't refusing to provide for her. But there may be something you can provide for her now, a chance to know her father. You may also want to help with college or whatever else you can do to support her. Your other children have a sister. That is a fact.
This girl grew up without knowing her father. You may have all kinds of feelings when you meet her. She may be numb to it. My wife was separated from her mother, against her mother's will, along with her siblings, when my wife was about 2. We found out where she was after she married me at a family gathering. We went out there, and met her. She cried and cried, hugging my wife and telling the story of what happened from her perspective. My wife didn't have the feelings for her mother that her mother had for her, and she had a lot to process with all the other siblings she met. I was there when they met. It was an emotional moment, but mainly on the part of the mother.
Meet her. Tell her you didn't know. If you had, you would have been there for her to take care of her growing up any way you could. Decide on ways you can be a dad to her now that she's grown and offer to do that. Completely welcome and accept her. If she grew up without knowing her dad, she doesn't need any rejection at all right now. You might want proof she's yours without her knowing that before you talk to her. You don't want to get conned into paying for college, and you don't want to be named the father because the mother 'feels like' its you when there were other possible candidates out there. You might be the only one with a job now that this huge expense is looming on the horizon.
She should be allowed to meet her younger siblings. It's not right to her to deprive her of that. Your wife may not like it, but she has to know it's not right to shut off your child. Ask her how she would feel if you asked her to have nothing to do with one of her children, or if that happened to her, being raised without her father.
You also have to explain this to your younger kids. You don't have to go into detail. My children, even the 6-year-old know that there is this thing called sex that males and females can do and it is a sin if they do that before they get married. You can talk to them about the pain of finding out you weren't there to raise your own daughter and how difficult it must have been for her not to know her dad or her siblings growing up. That's a real practical way of driving home that fornication is wrong. You can be transparent about your sin in the past. That's a real lesson for young men, too, from your past, that you can share with them to encourage them not to sin in this way.
This is your daughter. You have to do what's right. You didn't know. But the Bible does say a man who will not provide for his own has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. You didn't know about her. You weren't refusing to provide for her. But there may be something you can provide for her now, a chance to know her father. You may also want to help with college or whatever else you can do to support her. Your other children have a sister. That is a fact.
This girl grew up without knowing her father. You may have all kinds of feelings when you meet her. She may be numb to it. My wife was separated from her mother, against her mother's will, along with her siblings, when my wife was about 2. We found out where she was after she married me at a family gathering. We went out there, and met her. She cried and cried, hugging my wife and telling the story of what happened from her perspective. My wife didn't have the feelings for her mother that her mother had for her, and she had a lot to process with all the other siblings she met. I was there when they met. It was an emotional moment, but mainly on the part of the mother.
Meet her. Tell her you didn't know. If you had, you would have been there for her to take care of her growing up any way you could. Decide on ways you can be a dad to her now that she's grown and offer to do that. Completely welcome and accept her. If she grew up without knowing her dad, she doesn't need any rejection at all right now. You might want proof she's yours without her knowing that before you talk to her. You don't want to get conned into paying for college, and you don't want to be named the father because the mother 'feels like' its you when there were other possible candidates out there. You might be the only one with a job now that this huge expense is looming on the horizon.
She should be allowed to meet her younger siblings. It's not right to her to deprive her of that. Your wife may not like it, but she has to know it's not right to shut off your child. Ask her how she would feel if you asked her to have nothing to do with one of her children, or if that happened to her, being raised without her father.
You also have to explain this to your younger kids. You don't have to go into detail. My children, even the 6-year-old know that there is this thing called sex that males and females can do and it is a sin if they do that before they get married. You can talk to them about the pain of finding out you weren't there to raise your own daughter and how difficult it must have been for her not to know her dad or her siblings growing up. That's a real practical way of driving home that fornication is wrong. You can be transparent about your sin in the past. That's a real lesson for young men, too, from your past, that you can share with them to encourage them not to sin in this way.
i thought i would have 5 kids. I have 2. If children came from my past and said "you are my dad" I would be happy to know God took my sin(sex when not married) and used it for his good and his glory. This child would be a blessing from god and i would bless this child with every thing i have. Even her step-mom. ps you do have to go slow .. she could be crazy and you do have to be careful and protect your little ones.
I wish this would happen to me...
good luck
I wish this would happen to me...
good luck