How do I explain a breakup to young children?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,429
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#42
I might be wrong about this...

But I'm guessing that the other 5 children belonged to the boyfriend -- so if she has a clean break from him, she will no longer have contact with them either.

Hopefully she'll come back to clarify, as I am very interested in this situation as well.
 

Godsgirl1983

Well-known member
Feb 2, 2023
1,711
1,043
113
#43
I might be wrong about this...

But I'm guessing that the other 5 children belonged to the boyfriend -- so if she has a clean break from him, she will no longer have contact with them either.

Hopefully she'll come back to clarify, as I am very interested in this situation as well.
"she" stated in another thread that "she" started having kids at age 13.
Assuming that the current age is 18 (based on profile) birthing 13 kids in 5 years doesn't add up....

 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
113
#45
"she" stated in another thread that "she" started having kids at age 13.
Assuming that the current age is 18 (based on profile) birthing 13 kids in 5 years doesn't add up....

I did see that post.

I might be wrong about this too, but I'm guessing her husband had his own kids as well, and she just counts them all as her own, meaning that she didn't actually birth them all herself.

I do hope she will explain more of her story. I'm wondering how much of it might be cultural as well.

I have a good friend who is Latino and he said that where he comes from, it's actually considered normal for girls to start having kids at 14, and you are seen as old and a bit useless if you start any later (18 would be ancient.) He doesn't have any kids and everyone in his Latino circle thinks he's abnormal.

He's also said that nearly all the Latino women he knows in their 20's have at least 3, 4, or 5 kids. I also worked with a girl who had was pregnant at 13 and birthed her son at 14.

My friend also has a cousin around that age who was married before having kids, and they have 7, and I don't think she's even 30.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,225
4,283
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#46
"she" stated in another thread that "she" started having kids at age 13.
Assuming that the current age is 18 (based on profile) birthing 13 kids in 5 years doesn't add up....

Triplets......
Lots of triplets.

"The most children born to any woman in recorded history is 69, according to Guinness World Records. The mother was a peasant from Shuya, Russia, identified only as the wife of Feodor Vassilyev. Mrs. Vassilyev lived during the 18th century, and had 27 pregnancies, including 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets, according to "The Guinness Book of World Records 1998" (Bantam Books)."


I have an apology to make.
We have a celebrity.
This gal had 6 triplets.
😯

1679669288342.png
 

Godsgirl1983

Well-known member
Feb 2, 2023
1,711
1,043
113
#47
I did see that post.

I might be wrong about this too, but I'm guessing her husband had his own kids as well, and she just counts them all as her own, and that she didn't actually birth them all herself.

I do hope she will explain more of her story. I'm wondering how much of it might be cultural as well.

I have a good friend who is Latino and he said that where he comes from, it's actually considered normal for girls to start having kids at 14, and you are seen as old and a bit useless if you start any later (18 would be ancient.) He doesn't have any kids and everyone in his Latino circle thinks he's abnormal.

He's also said that nearly all the Latino women he knows in their 20's have at least 3, 4, or 5 kids.

He has a cousin around that age who was married before having kids, and they have 7.
Could be cultural, or the combination of kids is husband+boyfriends+own by birth. Those thoughts crossed my mind as well.
But unless they clarify we won't know, and at this point I'm willing to bet most people aren't going to believe or take very serious anything else said by this person pertaining to how many, how old and where/how they accumulated.

Anyway, the whole story/situation is a mess and the user already got nasty to me and others who asked questions/offered advice.

Good luck (and "have fun") to you and anyone else who might actually converse with this individual.
 

Godsgirl1983

Well-known member
Feb 2, 2023
1,711
1,043
113
#48
Triplets......
Lots of triplets.

"The most children born to any woman in recorded history is 69, according to Guinness World Records. The mother was a peasant from Shuya, Russia, identified only as the wife of Feodor Vassilyev. Mrs. Vassilyev lived during the 18th century, and had 27 pregnancies, including 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets, according to "The Guinness Book of World Records 1998" (Bantam Books)."


I have an apology to make.
We have a celebrity.
This gal had 6 triplets.
😯

View attachment 249756
It can't be....
They already said some are "step children"
but some twins and triplets is possible.
 

HopeinHim98

Well-known member
Mar 16, 2023
529
416
63
#49
Triplets......
Lots of triplets.

"The most children born to any woman in recorded history is 69, according to Guinness World Records. The mother was a peasant from Shuya, Russia, identified only as the wife of Feodor Vassilyev. Mrs. Vassilyev lived during the 18th century, and had 27 pregnancies, including 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets, according to "The Guinness Book of World Records 1998" (Bantam Books)."


I have an apology to make.
We have a celebrity.
This gal had 6 triplets.
😯

View attachment 249756
If that was the case she'd probably be really happy to share that info I think!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
113
#52
I did see that post.

I might be wrong about this too, but I'm guessing her husband had his own kids as well, and she just counts them all as her own, meaning that she didn't actually birth them all herself.

I do hope she will explain more of her story. I'm wondering how much of it might be cultural as well.

I have a good friend who is Latino and he said that where he comes from, it's actually considered normal for girls to start having kids at 14, and you are seen as old and a bit useless if you start any later (18 would be ancient.) He doesn't have any kids and everyone in his Latino circle thinks he's abnormal.

He's also said that nearly all the Latino women he knows in their 20's have at least 3, 4, or 5 kids. I also worked with a girl who had was pregnant at 13 and birthed her son at 14.

My friend also has a cousin around that age who was married before having kids, and they have 7, and I don't think she's even 30.

I don't want to assume, and I really do hope she comes back.

In one of her profiles, the OP said she has several middle names. This too, is quite common in Latino culture. Again, I could be completely wrong, but I am guessing that if this story is legit, this person is from a Latino or other culture with similar beliefs as them.

In the post I am quoting here, I mentioned a close friend of mine who is from the Latino culture.

In his community, stories like this would be very common and no one would blink an eye. The girls are pretty much expected to start having children around 14, and people often have kids by several partners, so even by the time they're 20, young people might find themselves in the midst of a very large, blended family.

This is seen as the cultural norm for them, and the people who have no or fewer kids or start later in life are seen are pretty much seen as has-been's.

My friend is in his 30's and considered to be strange because he doesn't have any children -- and one of of the reasons he's single is because all the Latino women he's met usually have multiple kids by multiple men because they all started around 14 or 15 years old -- and he just doesn't want to hop into a lot of drama.
 

Godsgirl1983

Well-known member
Feb 2, 2023
1,711
1,043
113
#53
I just hope the explanation is as funny as the deer eating popcorn. That will make it all worth it. 😄
I'm rereading now and just wondering how many of these "stepchildren" are from the boyfriend, and how many (if any) children were fathered by the boyfriend?

I mean, if boyfriend is not the father and is only seen as a "second father", and she's trying to repair a relationship with the husband (father?) then WHY continue seeing the boyfriend (or allowing children to see that man if they are not his) on weekends?
 

HopeinHim98

Well-known member
Mar 16, 2023
529
416
63
#55
I just hope the explanation is as funny as the deer eating popcorn. That will make it all worth it. 😄
Part of me would be entertained but it's also sad if this person is a liar. I mean, I know a lot of people are these days but I think of them having to give account one day before God:(.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,225
4,283
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#59
If that was the case she'd probably be really happy to share that info I think!
I think you're right!
After all, she shared her entire name including middle, where she lives, her job as candle stick maker, pet supplies and what was the other?
That takes a LOT of courage to open up to share all that and a potentially embarrassing personal situation to strangers on a public forum. .(just a wee bit of sarcasm 😉)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
113
#60
He is an amazing person and definitely a salmon who is swimming upstream and against the current.

I understand how hard it must be to fight against everything you are brought up in and around. I'm certainly not trying to generalize Latino culture; these are just the things he's observed and relayed to me. And I'm not trying in any way to excuse this behavior. But you know how it is, when you see your grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all doing this, it's hard to know any other way.

The only thing that saved my friend is that he started working as a young teen and was blessed with some co-workers who lived differently, which made him realize that he didn't have to follow his family's path. But he is made fun of daily by his Latino co-workers for being different.

I grew up in an area with another group of people who lived like this as well. It was very common for young girls to be pregnant at around 14 or even have abortions -- but that's because this was the age all of their mothers had gotten pregnant with them. And it was seen as normal, along with watching boyfriends and girlfriends come and go. Yet it was also common for these families to have at least one male member who was a self-proclaimed pastor, spiritual teacher, or elder.

I really do feel bad for anyone in these situations because it hurts every person involved. I had so many co-workers who were involved in things like this. Maybe not as extreme, but at the very least, a mini-version of this exact same story.

I really hope that this person and all her family members find a relationship with Jesus so that they can see there is a better way.

I pray that God will touch this person's heart, whoever she may be, whatever situation she might be in.