How is a husband to accept wife's suspicion

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Dec 4, 2017
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#61
Oh brother, on you too, 777.

"Filth" because he's less than you?

Why do I feel like I'm in a grade school schoolyard now?
I'll put it into the perspective of a Conversation in Christ.
Step back for a moment and think about the implications of spilling a detrimental testimony over a Christian forum.

Self control and responsibility towards a chance passerby is what some have lacked to understand.
Who knows who may be reading here. There might just be a person who never has been exposed to an honest fellowship. And so just happens they come here and read the On goings of this thread. Where someone who is presenting themselves as a member of the Body and is not exhibiting any such fruits to edify the Son.

It has now become a responsibility to those with discernment to intervene and and assure any readers that may happen by that a Conversation in Christ is to be held with the Lords Grace abounding toward one another.

If a poster refuses to heed, then it will be their blood on their heads.

My post should serve as a warning, and the scriptures are more than available for those who chose to grow in maturity.

Blessings Always
 
Dec 15, 2017
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#62
Lynn,
I don't have an issue with you or your post. You have given me lots of insights how to work with my challenges. Thank you and God bless.
 
Dec 15, 2017
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#63
Okay, I had blocked 7777. This guy scares me now, because I took a look at a blocked post.

"then it will be their blood on their heads."

Sound like an NCIS episode.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,503
509
113
#64
I'll put it into the perspective of a Conversation in Christ.
Step back for a moment and think about the implications of spilling a detrimental testimony over a Christian forum.

Self control and responsibility towards a chance passerby is what some have lacked to understand.
Who knows who may be reading here. There might just be a person who never has been exposed to an honest fellowship. And so just happens they come here and read the On goings of this thread. Where someone who is presenting themselves as a member of the Body and is not exhibiting any such fruits to edify the Son.

It has now become a responsibility to those with discernment to intervene and and assure any readers that may happen by that a Conversation in Christ is to be held with the Lords Grace abounding toward one another.

If a poster refuses to heed, then it will be their blood on their heads.

My post should serve as a warning, and the scriptures are more than available for those who chose to grow in maturity.

Blessings Always
Despite your authoritative tone and assumption of knowledge about this site, you actually show you lack any understanding of what goes on here.

Firstly once people start using terms like 'heed my warning' you are pretty much dismissed by most. That's a fast track to being disregarded.
You talk about what a bad witness others are on here, yet when the person that created this thread asks you to leave because you are causing more trouble than good, causing dissension, you refuse and stay to continue causing problems. What sort of example is that?
And are we not responsible for ensuring we don't cause others to stumble? Yet even when you are clearly being a stumbling block to others your self righteousness is so great you think you could not possible be doing anything wrong.
Once a person carries an attitude of 'i have the truth and everyone around me is wrong, so i have every right to push what i say' you immediately cause problems with those around you. That is not a humble attitude, nor is one that of a peacemaker.
Most people on this site are not lacking the understanding that others may see what's going on, but rather Because of that understanding it fuels them to push harder to ensure people see 'truth' and are not deceived. The part they miss is that people don't see 'truth' but rather the drama. Pretty much exactly what you're doing now. Ironic that you're just as guilty of the things you're accusing others of, as those you accuse.
You talk about maturity yet delude yourself into thinking you're not only different, but better, than others on this site, despite behaving in a manner that is exactly the same.
You actually fit right in with many of the members on this site, because you are so similar.
 
Dec 4, 2017
906
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#65
Despite your authoritative tone and assumption of knowledge about this site, you actually show you lack any understanding of what goes on here.

Firstly once people start using terms like 'heed my warning' you are pretty much dismissed by most. That's a fast track to being disregarded.
You talk about what a bad witness others are on here, yet when the person that created this thread asks you to leave because you are causing more trouble than good, causing dissension, you refuse and stay to continue causing problems. What sort of example is that?
And are we not responsible for ensuring we don't cause others to stumble? Yet even when you are clearly being a stumbling block to others your self righteousness is so great you think you could not possible be doing anything wrong.
Once a person carries an attitude of 'i have the truth and everyone around me is wrong, so i have every right to push what i say' you immediately cause problems with those around you. That is not a humble attitude, nor is one that of a peacemaker.
Most people on this site are not lacking the understanding that others may see what's going on, but rather Because of that understanding it fuels them to push harder to ensure people see 'truth' and are not deceived. The part they miss is that people don't see 'truth' but rather the drama. Pretty much exactly what you're doing now. Ironic that you're just as guilty of the things you're accusing others of, as those you accuse.
You talk about maturity yet delude yourself into thinking you're not only different, but better, than others on this site, despite behaving in a manner that is exactly the same.
You actually fit right in with many of the members on this site, because you are so similar.
If you enjoy gossip and slander, then you are in the company of something that is far from the Lord.

And if you expected A Witness to be Timid, you are going to fall away faster than luke warm water is spit on the ground.

A rebuke is a Rebuke
 

Acarpenter

Junior Member
Nov 26, 2017
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#66
"""" I let her vent and then leave the house for a few hours to let her cool down.""""Consult a good family law attorney about the issue of "Abandonment". A quick phone consult should do it. It's possible that where you live, if you leave the house, your wife can take actions that will prove you have abandoned your family, which will go very badly for you in divorce litigation. You would be helpless to disprove it. This kind of thing used to be a problem, maybe 40-50 years ago. However I sure do hope this is a non-issue these days.
 
Dec 15, 2017
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#67
I don't believe that abandonment is an issue. The afternoon that the police came over they asked that one of us leave the house for a bit. Neither one of us left the house, until a few hours later to go grocery shopping.
 

Acarpenter

Junior Member
Nov 26, 2017
20
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#68
"""" Re: How is a husband to accept wife's suspicion.......I don't believe that abandonment is an issue. The afternoon that the police came over they asked that one of us leave the house for a bit. Neither one of us left the house, until a few hours later to go grocery shopping."""""" Oops, I wasn't suggesting you had abandoned anyone. What I meant was that a spouse can construe your absence as abandonment by calling the police and having them verify you are not there. It happened to someone I knew. I hope this tactic doesn't work anymore.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
9,889
695
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#69
Angela - you are judging my devotion to God?
So Christian people die from illnesses, that because they are not "on fire for God?"
- they didn't pray hard enough?

I grew up poor Angela, I told myself at a young age that I want to do something with my life. I told myself I wasn't going to follow the path of fellow tribal remembers (drinking/drugs). I still help in my church and had started out reach programs for youth and young couples. I help the ministry by being involved and with tithing (money that God is in control from the jib that he has given me).

I'm still on the road to continue counseling.
I'll keep a smile and be positive and caring with my wife.

God bless us all.
Fitst, unless you are talking about me, I have no idea what you mean about people dying because they are “not on fire for God.” What I clearly said, is that if God called you to Seminary, and you left for money/career, you directly disobeyed God, and you have been reaping the consequences with broken marriages, and a wife who is probably not a Christian, and wants to leave you. I don’t believe God punishes people with illnesses, except sometimes I wonder, in my case. God called me to Seminary in the early 1990’s and I disobeyed, because it didn’t fit with my career plans. I started getting sick very soon after. As in seriously and painfully and permanently ill. I did heed the second call, and completed my MDiv in 2013.

I also said that if God did not call you, then if you left, that is ok. There is a huge difference between going to Seminary because God has called you, and going because it is the something to do. Although God can use either person.

Really being on fire has nothing to do with it. Seminary is hard, although in incredibly valuable. I could not have kept going through med failures, walking with my father till he died and many other hindrances without knowing Seminary was God’s will, not just mine! I was just speaking from experience, and not just my own. There was general agreement among the students, that it is hard to make it through seminary without the call of God to do it. I know many people who are on fire for God, but they do not go to seminary, because it was not a call on their lives! That is all I was saying!

Let us know how this nightmare turns out. I hope you can continue to be an optimist!
 
Dec 15, 2017
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#70
Thank you for clearing that up, I see your point. I just had this conversation with my pastor, how in my 20's and 30's I had a closer relationship with God. Yes the fire was there wanting to bring people to know him and for my children. Your statement makes sense.

God bless
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,353
1,301
113
#71
Scruffy, if you use the "reply with quote" button, it's easier for us to tell who you're responding to. :)


Thank you for clearing that up, I see your point. I just had this conversation with my pastor, how in my 20's and 30's I had a closer relationship with God. Yes the fire was there wanting to bring people to know him and for my children. Your statement makes sense.

God bless
 

blessedby1

Junior Member
Aug 15, 2017
23
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#73
“A reporter asked a couple, ‘How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?’ The woman replied, ‘We were born in a time when if something was broken we would fix it, not throw it away…’” Your marriage maybe broken, but it can be repaired.

One if the most powerful Bible verses that show us how to love is from 1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

You may want to read that again...slowly, let it sink in. It is not an accident that you have to deal with these issues. Remember God has prepared you for this and has equipped you for this. Your wife is your ministry and you must love her as Christ loved the church- those words from 1 Corinthians are verbs, action words, they words call upon us men to act. Men are the pursuers, protectors, protectors of the home. Being that, we are the leaders, we are called to be the example, be the role model our wives need us to be. To love like it says in 1 Corinthians and in other places in the Bible, can only be done with God’s strength, God’s encouragement, God’s admonition, and His patience. To have that- we need to cling to Jesus.
Use these difficulties that you are experiencing to draw closer to our Lord. Remember it is very easy to drift away and not even realize it. Hebrews 2:1-2 speaks of this:
So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it. 2 For the message God delivered through angels has always stood firm, and every violation of the law and every act of disobedience was punished.
It it no different than a boat that needs to be moored or secured to a dock. If it is not, that boat will slowly drift away, at first no one even notices. It is the same way with us, if we are not consuming God’s Word, daily, we will drift away- we will drift away from Him- and that is dangerous! It is awesome that you pray, continue. If you your wife won’t pray with you than you pray over her. (good place to stay in God’s Word every day: http://oneyearbibleonline.com/)

Stay in God’s Word for strength and wisdom, then find a Bible teaching church and join the Men’s ministry...the power when men gather for Fellowship and the study of His Word, the power when men come together to pray over one another; the accountability part of men’s ministry- all of this serves to strengthen, and deepen our walk with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Just as you desire to have a better relationship with your wife, God desires you to have a better relationship with Him. You want to start by memorizing and asking God to show you how you may apply these three powerful verses to your own life:

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Romans 5: 1-4 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Someone asked: Do see an endless hope or do you see a hopeless end. How you view it can make all the difference.

God Bless.
 
Dec 15, 2017
48
1
0
#74
“A reporter asked a couple, ‘How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?’ The woman replied, ‘We were born in a time when if something was broken we would fix it, not throw it away…’” Your marriage maybe broken, but it can be repaired.

One if the most powerful Bible verses that show us how to love is from 1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

You may want to read that again...slowly, let it sink in. It is not an accident that you have to deal with these issues. Remember God has prepared you for this and has equipped you for this. Your wife is your ministry and you must love her as Christ loved the church- those words from 1 Corinthians are verbs, action words, they words call upon us men to act. Men are the pursuers, protectors, protectors of the home. Being that, we are the leaders, we are called to be the example, be the role model our wives need us to be. To love like it says in 1 Corinthians and in other places in the Bible, can only be done with God’s strength, God’s encouragement, God’s admonition, and His patience. To have that- we need to cling to Jesus.
Use these difficulties that you are experiencing to draw closer to our Lord. Remember it is very easy to drift away and not even realize it. Hebrews 2:1-2 speaks of this:
So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it. 2 For the message God delivered through angels has always stood firm, and every violation of the law and every act of disobedience was punished.
It it no different than a boat that needs to be moored or secured to a dock. If it is not, that boat will slowly drift away, at first no one even notices. It is the same way with us, if we are not consuming God’s Word, daily, we will drift away- we will drift away from Him- and that is dangerous! It is awesome that you pray, continue. If you your wife won’t pray with you than you pray over her. (good place to stay in God’s Word every day: http://oneyearbibleonline.com/)

Stay in God’s Word for strength and wisdom, then find a Bible teaching church and join the Men’s ministry...the power when men gather for Fellowship and the study of His Word, the power when men come together to pray over one another; the accountability part of men’s ministry- all of this serves to strengthen, and deepen our walk with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Just as you desire to have a better relationship with your wife, God desires you to have a better relationship with Him. You want to start by memorizing and asking God to show you how you may apply these three powerful verses to your own life:

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Romans 5: 1-4 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Someone asked: Do see an endless hope or do you see a hopeless end. How you view it can make all the difference.

God Bless.
Blessedby1,
Thank you for your thoughts in reaching out to me today.
I have been dealing with a lot in my heart, that has been heavy in me.
I keep telling myself that God has a plan for me(us), that I need to put him first.
God has shown me patients, people have commented him patient I am.
I listen before I react, because of not wanting to be reactive and having to do repair work for fixing things.
My wife, I love her dearly and would do anything for her.
She just doesn't want to do the same for me.
I'm a bit worn out, and keep praying that God show me what i'm i to learn from these situations.
So far I have come up with things that are not building in a relationship, just things that are one sided.

Christmas eve...
We had both agreed to help at at church this Christmas eve. We both got assigned the photo booth, at the 5 and 7 pm service. We had our day planned around helping out at the church. At 4pm my wife needed to run to the store and asked if i could pickup soup at a near by restaurant, that after the service we can come home and have something warm to eat. I went out, the restaurant closed early so I was not able to get the soup. I went to a few different places but no one had the soup that she was requesting. When I called her about the soup, she told me that she is going to finish shopping and that i should head to the church. She never arrived to the church, instead she spent time looking for Coca-Cola in glass bottles and wine. When I got home at 930pm, she was half a bottle down on wine. I bugs me that glass bottles and wine was more important than doing something as a family, that she had signed us up to do.

Maybe it was her way to keep me out of the house?

Christmas day...
Breakfast and gift exchange with the kids (stepson 21, SSGF 25, and Stepdaughter 17).
Things are good and calm in the house, but we need to run to the in-laws for early dinner.
We are running behind schedule by an hour and get to the in-laws at 330pm. This is because of us making side dishes and putting gifts together.
My dad and brother have a dinner planned for 500pm, and my wife is aware of this. Although I told my brothers that I'll be there at 600pm, because of eating at my in-laws. 530pm comes around and I tell my wife that we need to get going to make it with my brothers and dad at 600pm. She tells me I'm not going I'm staying here. I say my good byes to my in-laws and leave feeling a bit empty inside. My in-laws asked about my dad and asked if I had seen him yet. My sister in-law and father in-law was concern that my wife wasn't going with me. This is where I think what is the lesson learn from this? To accept that she will never reciprocate and that she isn't supportive to me? To be patient and keep praying that someday she will be? It hurts, that she isn't by my side or that she doesn't stand beside me. Maybe I'm looking to deep into this and being unreasonable about my wife?

Ends up that my dad didn't attend dinner and hadn't been answering his phone. I had to left my brothers and went to my dad's house to find him sick sitting on the recliner. I got him up and gave him something to drink and stayed with him for an hour or so. I asked my dad to see the doctor today, and he is okay with antibiotics at the moment. I'm glad that my dad is doing better, he had me scared last night with him not answering his phone. He was a bit medicine head and drowse, and he's in his early 80's.
 

blessedby1

Junior Member
Aug 15, 2017
23
0
0
#75
A hurricane, it is fierce, it is deadly and a hurricane can cause much damage. So can the trials of life-they are fierce, can cause much havoc and can be deadly. But you’ll notice the center of that storm is calm. The sea is untroubled, the winds are tranquil. As a Christian, as a Believer, as one who understands that God is in control of everything- that’s where you need to see yourself and that’s is where I need to see myself.
1 Peter 4:12 says it perfectly: Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you…’

For a few moments Peter, the Disciple did not. Matthew 14:25 Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. 26 And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear.

27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

28 And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”

29 So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. 30 But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”

31 And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

33 Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”


In those few moments in verse 29, Peter walked on water. The very next verse Peter took his eyes off Jesus…what happened...you read it, Peter was afraid.
Because of the world in which we live, we must learn to keep our eyes on Jesus...when we do, we will sense a calmness, Philippians 4:7 says it…’and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.’ You will have a peace and you will not be afraid...but we must keep our eyes on Jesus.

Being in a relationship, means that there is going to time talk and a time to listen...it will be a time of prayer (when we talk with God) and a time of letting God speak to you, through His word. It may a good a idea not to neglect either one for both are needed and required for a strong, healthy, vibrant relationship.

 
Dec 15, 2017
48
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#76
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to post a message to give an update.

My wife has agreed to go to biblical marriage counseling. Sadly everyone of the sessions that we setup, something has come up for her. This last Tuesday was discouraging, because of another excuse. The pastor told me that he can see that my wife hates me through the actions that she takes. Not that hate was used in a negative way, just in the manner that she disrespects me. I can say have a nice day to my wife, and she will say that how can it be nice because she's late 3 seconds saying good bye to me. The pastor pointed out, Proverbs 10:12.

God bless to everyone, and I hope everyone is positive and loving to one another.

~scruffy