How is loneliness while single different from loneliness in marriage?

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Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#41
It's not thinking at all. It's overt cognitive dissonance. That's the problem with the health wealth and prosperity bunch. They think themselves so spiritual that no reality can penetrate their fortification.
You ask one how they are doing they have some insipid response, like, blessed more than I deserve. Rather than confess the truth, when they are dealing with something. It's absurd how they are unable to be honest because having any emotion other than elation over Jesus isn't spiritual. "My mom died, but I'm doing cart wheels down the halls for Jesus." I'm so happy. Forgetting the scripture admonishing us to morn with those who morn.

There are many; literally dozens of scripture passages given to strengthen us and support us in lonely times; because we will be lonely at times. That is why those passages are there. To carry us through those times. If we can't confess those lonely feelings then how can those scriptures support and strengthen us, and why would they be written?
I agree that grieving for a time is a necessity to healing but choosing to distance/isolate ourselves and remain in it is destructive and a tool for our enemy.
 
Mar 4, 2020
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#42
No. Im not embarrassed because I have whethered this storm myself. I was married for 20 years. The devil took advantage of my loneliness and pain to drive wedges between my relationship with God and the very people placed in my life, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Not just my marriage, but a very painful past of physical and sexual abuse. If I had only turned to the Lord, who was always right there...I wouldn't have felt the loneliness that I felt and I wouldn't have spent the last 10 years in despair. Letting satan use my pain to control me indeed was a choice I made. Indeed the Lord gives us the strength and power to overcome. Those are promises I should have stood on and saved myself a long journey back. However, the lessons and my faith have increased because of it. I praise God for turning me around.

Perhaps I should have expanded my personal context.

Choose to cling to JESUS, not the circumstances.
Hindsight is 20/20. There is a lot of "If only I would have listened" or "If only I would have seen clearer" before people are broken. Often times we have to be broken to get us to a place where we are ready to pay attention. God does want us to be happy, but this transitory existence is fading away and will be replaced with things that are immortal and incorruptible. You will learn a lot of lessons here on Earth even if it breaks your heart.

Now that you're alone again you are alone because you do not have a spouse. Yes you have God, yes you have your brethren and sisteren, yes you have friends, family, etc. But you don't have a wife.

This thread is about being married versus being single.

Anyway, thanks for sharing but that really has nothing to do with why you decided to disagree with what I said. Maybe you still didn't read the original post.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#43
Thank you lighhearted, it is always great to see another kindred soul.
It's ok that we don't all understand the same, not all of us have the same path. God has His purposes and will use our storms for good and as He sees fit. How long it takes and the depth in part, is a choice. How lost in our grief and how soon we lay it at the cross makes all the difference.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#44
Hindsight is 20/20. There is a lot of "If only I would have listened" or "If only I would have seen clearer" before people are broken. Often times we have to be broken to get us to a place where we are ready to pay attention. God does want us to be happy, but this transitory existence is fading away and will be replaced with things that are immortal and incorruptible. You will learn a lot of lessons here on Earth even if it breaks your heart.

Now that you're alone again you are alone because you do not have a spouse. Yes you have God, yes you have your brethren and sisteren, yes you have friends, family, etc. But you don't have a wife.

This thread is about being married versus being single.

Anyway, thanks for sharing but that really has nothing to do with why you decided to disagree with what I said. Maybe you still didn't read the original post.
I read it. Thanks.
I am single. Yes, I would love to be a part of a healthy marriage. I choose to not dwell on loneliness but find joy and love in my relationship with the Lord, people, and purpose.
I disagreed with you. That is all and you are welcome to disagree with me.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#45
I agree that grieving for a time is a necessity to healing but choosing to distance/isolate ourselves and remain in it is destructive and a tool for our enemy.
Correct, I agree. However this does not mitigate the fact that Christians deal with tough circumstances, and can often be lonely. It does not mean we are over by it. We over come these feelings by the Comforter also known as the Holy Spirit, and the comforting word, and our fellowship with the brethren. Feeling and being lonely for a time or even at times is not a mark against someone's spiritual maturity.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#46
I would go as far as to say that, asserting that someone is spiritually immature because they are experiencing loneliness, is very hateful, and unChristian.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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#47
It's ok that we don't all understand the same, not all of us have the same path. God has His purposes and will use our storms for good and as He sees fit. How long it takes and the depth in part, is a choice. How lost in our grief and how soon we lay it at the cross makes all the difference.
I too am single and don't know how I could keep in that one on one relationship with the Father and maintain it, Paul spoke of this as well.
Perhaps that is why I am NEVER lonely, never have been, and do not remember a time when I was not walking in His presence and direction.

Not really "OK" in that so many stop at salvation, as wonderful as it is, and do not go on to grow.
Jesus instructions were to heal, raise, cleanse, preach, not stop and salvation and rest.
Granted we are indeed at different levels, yet i am 60+ and so many I know in my age group have yet to grow at all.
best wishes
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#48
The red X means one disagrees and the thumbs down means one dislikes, right? One can disagree without disliking someones view? I thought that's how this worked.🤔
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#49
Correct, I agree. However this does not mitigate the fact that Christians deal with tough circumstances, and can often be lonely. It does not mean we are over by it. We over come these feelings by the Comforter also known as the Holy Spirit, and the comforting word, and our fellowship with the brethren. Feeling and being lonely for a time or even at times is not a mark against someone's spiritual maturity.
If you are responding to me, I wasn't attacking anyones spirituality. I'm sorry if that is how it was interpreted.❤
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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#50
me either, we really don't have "our " spirituality, we are no longer our own , we are His.
Choosing to feel "attacked" may be a separate issue requiring restoration, healing, renewal.
best wishes
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#51
The red X means one disagrees and the thumbs down means one dislikes, right? One can disagree without disliking someones view? I thought that's how this worked.🤔
Yep that's how it works.
 
Jul 9, 2020
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#52
There was a research experiment once where a couple was separated and placed in in Faraday cages, totally isolated from each other, electrodes had been placed on each and a light shown in the eye of one, and it registered in the brain of the other person.
Seems we can be connected in the Quantum realm, where God resides and works, we know from scripture we were made in His image, male and female.
Thank you for sharing this, bless you brother
That's interesting. Kinda makes you think there's a whole lot more to the "the two will become one flesh" passage, huh? I wouldn't be surprised if there's a whole lot more going on in this world than what we're able to perceive.

There was this one time we were camping at Moab, Utah. I was mountain biking on some trail. My wife was back at the campground. She said that she suddenly got this vision of me crashing on my bike and breaking my leg and that she needed to pray for me. So she prayed for me. Crazy thing was that right at that time I did indeed wipeout on my bike and totally thought I was going to break my leg. We both think that her prayer for me saved me from a massive injury that day.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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#53
You will really enjoy the work of Dr. Caroline Leaf who ties scripture in with science.


This is a TED talk and gives a person a start in what she is teaching, 4 PHD's, she knows a lot of stuff, has daily pod casts, free.
I am taught that in Jesus parting instructions to the disciples in John 16 he tells of how when Holy spirit comes He will guide, speak and show all truth, and the word for "show" is the Greek word "photas", the word we get "photo" from, He gives flashes of insight to us and if we miss them we miss how He wishes to convey information to us. I was sharing this with a deputy, he went "oh wow" and related how he was on a high speed pursuit and approaching a hill in an area he knew, he got a picture of a car stopped in his lane just over the hill, he braked and when he came over the hill a car was indeed sitting there stopped, if he had missed that warning there would have been trouble.
Cherish your bride, she is an awesome blessing to you.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#54
me either, we really don't have "our " spirituality, we are no longer our own , we are His.
Choosing to feel "attacked" may be a separate issue requiring restoration, healing, renewal.
best wishes
Well, stop making the assertion that if you feel lonely you are spiritually immature.
And there will be restoration.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
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#55
It's ok that we don't all understand the same, not all of us have the same path. God has His purposes and will use our storms for good and as He sees fit. How long it takes and the depth in part, is a choice. How lost in our grief and how soon we lay it at the cross makes all the difference.
I agree with the point made that you did not read the OP.

We can all agree that we need to learn how to handle grief. But the point is that we do feel grief at one point or the other. And the question being asked is who feels loneliness more, married or single?

Please start a thread where you teach people how to manage their grief, but I beg you, dont try to tell us that because we are Christians we should never feel lonely or sad because its a choice.

Will you also tell me that a Christian is never sick because the scripture says by His stripes we are healed? Are you going to tell me, being sick is a choice?

The scripture says Jesus wept, did it not?

Jesus also asked His friends to stay up with Him and pray, did He not? What was His response when he found them sleeping?
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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#56
Well, stop making the assertion that if you feel lonely you are spiritually immature.
And there will be restoration.

my sympathy to you, did not assert what you are falsely accusing.
best wishes,
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
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#57
my sympathy to you, did not assert what you are falsely accusing.
best wishes,
Yes you did.
"Single people do not have a significant other meaning they do not have someone to keep them company. So therefore they should feel alone. I'll double-down and triple-down on this because I'm right."
Not true for a born again, Holy spirit filled Christian walking in relationship with our lord and Savior.
True for an outward form, carnal living "Christian" who may play "church" once a week and is not in relationship as required.
best wishes
we are talking about the same thing, one of us us born again, spirit filled and walking in viral relationship and one is still a carnal, or sense ruled Christian, if Christian at all.
He will grow us all as much as we desire and allow to be grown.
Many stay as outward form Christians, Jesus told us clearly that would be the case in these last days, they would hold to an outward form of godliness denying the power thereof, others would grow and go one to do greater works than He Himself.
best wishes
Best Wishes.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#58
my sympathy to you, did not assert what you are falsely accusing.
best wishes,
Your sympathy is misplaced and directly rebuffed, the person ranker is noted.
There has been no false accusation. If you bother to read what you have written. You will see that Your denial is dishonest.
@GiveThanks , has quoted your remarks for you above for your easy reference.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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#59
being you must be an unpleasant experience.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#60
That's interesting. Kinda makes you think there's a whole lot more to the "the two will become one flesh" passage, huh? I wouldn't be surprised if there's a whole lot more going on in this world than what we're able to perceive.

There was this one time we were camping at Moab, Utah. I was mountain biking on some trail. My wife was back at the campground. She said that she suddenly got this vision of me crashing on my bike and breaking my leg and that she needed to pray for me. So she prayed for me. Crazy thing was that right at that time I did indeed wipeout on my bike and totally thought I was going to break my leg. We both think that her prayer for me saved me from a massive injury that day.
We can have that kind of connection in the spirit with any of those whom we are praying for.
One time I were praying for different people in the church I was attending.
I was driving to work, and on my drive I would usually pray. At about 6:00 am I was praying for an elderly couple; (the husband was in the hospital) and I broke down into great sorrowing sobs for her while I was praying for them. Later that day I got a call from the pastor. Her husband had died that morning at about 6:00 am.
Another time I was praying for God to send comforters to comfort those neglected and forgotten members of the body. I prayed God would send a person to show his love and to hug them. A few weeks later I was attending a benefit trail ride with some young adults living in an assisted living facility. We had a big wagon with hay for them to ride with horses and mules and covered wagons all around. I would ride my horse right up beside and let the people pet and talk to and give treats to the horse. On one of the rest stops, one young man walks up to me and starts quoting scripture, and when he was done he said sir, I would like to give you a hug. I about broke because I remembered my prayer.