How is loneliness while single different from loneliness in marriage?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
16,888
8,429
113
#82
I believe being lonely in a marriage is worse - but I guess it depends on why and how long for etc. If it’s a permanent or constant regular state - defiantly better to be alone than married and lonely.
People can either be RE-ACTIVE or PRO-ACTIVE. Your comment is re-active. But there is always a proactive solution. It is up to each one to determine what the proactive solution is. And there is also a PRE-EMPTIVE solution.
 

Tararose

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2020
622
498
63
Uk
www.101christiansocialnetwork.com
#83
People can either be RE-ACTIVE or PRO-ACTIVE. Your comment is re-active. But there is always a proactive solution. It is up to each one to determine what the proactive solution is. And there is also a PRE-EMPTIVE solution.
Sometimes others act in ways that are beyond our control, and through no fault of our own we find ourselves hurt by, or isolated in various ways from those we should not be. My statement is reactive, because I have been lonely in both situations, and so have answered accordingly. If I did not answer honestly from experience it would not be a reactive answer. The poster wanted experienced answers... to a specific question.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
8,244
4,604
113
#84
"sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"
Not talking about you, I have found this beneficial to walk out.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#85
Yes, I'm sure that when Jesus was in the garden of gethsemane, and woke his disciples up and asking them to stay awake and pray with him was because he was perfectly content.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,400
1,742
113
#86
Yes, I'm sure that when Jesus was in the garden of gethsemane, and woke his disciples up and asking them to stay awake and pray with him was because he was perfectly content.
Agreed, but what did he do about it? He took it to the father. He said not my will but your will. We are not always going to be perfectly content in life and there is going to be suffering. But we are not to be defeated by any emotion and we don't have to stay down. We are told be content in what state we are in and the only way to do that is to take it too the Father. Bring every thought into subjection to him...If there be any good thing think on those things etc. etc. etc.

Sorry if this is off topic, but it seems like the whole thread is now...so oh well...lol
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,400
1,742
113
#87
This thread is a good example of how people argue over anything and everything. Posting mainly in the BDF, I've become accustomed to it, but this seems like such a small thing for folks to be arguing over.

To be honest, I agree with everyone here in some way and can't see how some of you guys aren't getting it. Why the big argument over this...You're all right to some extent...lol

As Christians, we will face negative emotions like loneliness, anger, and many other things. This is normal....So here I agree with the people who say its ok to feel negative emotions.

Also we know that scripture teaches how to deal with these emotions and tells us how to overcome them. So here I agree with the other folks too.
 

Tararose

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2020
622
498
63
Uk
www.101christiansocialnetwork.com
#88
This thread is a good example of how people argue over anything and everything. Posting mainly in the BDF, I've become accustomed to it, but this seems like such a small thing for folks to be arguing over.

To be honest, I agree with everyone here in some way and can't see how some of you guys aren't getting it. Why the big argument over this...You're all right to some extent...lol

As Christians, we will face negative emotions like loneliness, anger, and many other things. This is normal....So here I agree with the people who say its ok to feel negative emotions.

Also we know that scripture teaches how to deal with these emotions and tells us how to overcome them. So here I agree with the other folks too.
It’s a good balanced response. Thanks for that.

You are 100% right. An argument shouldn’t exist on here. The op asked a legit question about people’s experience Of loneliness in two situations. That’s all there is to it.

Posters are getting upset or cross because others are condemning and belittling the experiences of those who have suffered loneliness and are directly answering the op’s question as best they can.

And this a Christian site? Go figure 🤷‍♀️
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
8,244
4,604
113
#89
Those "arguing" seem to be the ones that are fighting the truth of scripture and it's instruction of how to walk out our faith, succumbing to the adversaries attack on the peace that comes from walking in His divine love and guidance.

Those walking out that peace, truth and faith are sharing the way out.
Not condemning or belittling anyone.
best wishes
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#91
This thread is a good example of how people argue over anything and everything. Posting mainly in the BDF, I've become accustomed to it, but this seems like such a small thing for folks to be arguing over.

To be honest, I agree with everyone here in some way and can't see how some of you guys aren't getting it. Why the big argument over this...You're all right to some extent...lol

As Christians, we will face negative emotions like loneliness, anger, and many other things. This is normal....So here I agree with the people who say its ok to feel negative emotions.

Also we know that scripture teaches how to deal with these emotions and tells us how to overcome them. So here I agree with the other folks too.
I absolutely abhor, the assertion that if someone a,b,or c they aren't spiritually mature. In this case experience loneliness. Jesus experienced loneliness, so did each of the disciples, and so does many Christians. Nothing says that anyone has to be defeated by it. Living in this world as a Christian can be a lonesome trek. Basically we are at enmity with neighbors, family, the world system, social leaders, society in general.
So to say that experiencing loneliness makes you spiritually immature is a hateful, evil, attack against well I mean even Jesus had lonesome experiences.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#92
Agreed, but what did he do about it? He took it to the father. He said not my will but your will. We are not always going to be perfectly content in life and there is going to be suffering. But we are not to be defeated by any emotion and we don't have to stay down. We are told be content in what state we are in and the only way to do that is to take it too the Father. Bring every thought into subjection to him...If there be any good thing think on those things etc. etc. etc.

Sorry if this is off topic, but it seems like the whole thread is now...so oh well...lol
Right, he delt with it, but he still experienced it. It takes a straight evil person to attack a person who is experiencing loneliness by calling them immature.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,400
1,742
113
#93
Right, he delt with it, but he still experienced it. It takes a straight evil person to attack a person who is experiencing loneliness by calling them immature.
Where on earth are you coming from with this? I didn't call anyone immature or attack anyone. I stated the facts here. Yeah, it's ok to feel lonely and even feel other negative emotions at times. But what I said and others have said is also true as well...People do need to learn to take it to the Lord. Where is comfort if not in the Lord?

So really, I have no idea what has you so upset.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#94
Where on earth are you coming from with this? I didn't call anyone immature or attack anyone. I stated the facts here. Yeah, it's ok to feel lonely and even feel other negative emotions at times. But what I said and others have said is also true as well...People do need to learn to take it to the Lord. Where is comfort if not in the Lord?

So really, I have no idea what has you so upset.
Give thanks, quotes two in post 57.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#95
Where on earth are you coming from with this? I didn't call anyone immature or attack anyone. I stated the facts here. Yeah, it's ok to feel lonely and even feel other negative emotions at times. But what I said and others have said is also true as well...People do need to learn to take it to the Lord. Where is comfort if not in the Lord?

So really, I have no idea what has you so upset.
In one post he actually say and I quote,"
shittim
Senior Member
Saturday at 6:57 PM post #23
no- a right relationship with the indwelling Christ keeps the true Christian from loneliness , posts 11 from lighthearted and 17 from me cover this. I know you don't 'get" this, most don't , a remnant of genuine, Spirit Filled Christians do. I hope you get there someday soon
Not going to argue with you.
goodbye"
That a right relationship with Jesus keeps the true christian from expericing loneliness. Note: true Christian.
Sorry but Jesus himself felt lonely, as did his disciples, as did also the fathers of the faith.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#96
Where on earth are you coming from with this? I didn't call anyone immature or attack anyone. I stated the facts here. Yeah, it's ok to feel lonely and even feel other negative emotions at times. But what I said and others have said is also true as well...People do need to learn to take it to the Lord. Where is comfort if not in the Lord?

So really, I have no idea what has you so upset.
I'm talking to you not about you.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
8,244
4,604
113
#98
That IS the promise, when we fail to walk with Him, keep our mind "stayed on Him, , we can get lonely. That is the 'cure" that several have posted here as to why they are never lonely.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,400
1,742
113
#99
Give thanks, quotes two in post 57.
Well, maybe I should read this thread over.

But here's the thing...I'm not calling anyone immature or anything and probably shouldn't have even got into this, but what I am saying is there is some middle ground here.

The scripture says to bear one another's burdens. Now I don't think that means to put others down in anyway, but to help encourage them in the Lord.

Paul said that he had learned how to be content...Not that he was always on cloud 9 and not going through any hard times, but he had learned to be content with the state that he is in. Everyone goes through hard times, but we can lean on the Lord and learn to be content and thankful.

Philippians 4
11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

So yes I agree with you. Life has got it's ups and downs and we are all going to face hard times and that is for sure. However, we do need to learn to deal with it and be overcomers and not just give in to loneliness or any other negative emotions. I read where another poster had stated something similar to that as well. And I agree with them also...There is some balance here. That was pretty much all I was saying...lol
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,400
1,742
113
That IS the promise, when we fail to walk with Him, keep our mind "stayed on Him, , we can get lonely. That is the 'cure" that several have posted here as to why they are never lonely.
Yes, God is a very present help, and if we keep our minds upon him and walk in the Spirit...Then we can face whatever may come.

However, there are still trials in this life and no matter how close we live to the Lord we are all going to face them. Now trials can be different for everyone. Everyone won't face the same trials, but rest assured we will all face trials in this life. This doesn't mean that we have somehow failed the Lord, though.

1 Peter 4:12-16 (KJV)
12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: 13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.